


New Light

by driftershiddenfivehead



Series: The Rift [1]
Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Gen, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Jealousy, Lore-Friendly, Multi, Past Relationship(s), Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Temporarily Unrequited Love, using the unknown parts of the lore to my advantage, yeah it will probably stop being lore friendly eventually because bungie loves to retcon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:34:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 62,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21732307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/driftershiddenfivehead/pseuds/driftershiddenfivehead
Summary: ***WARNING: MATURE CONTENT***A new season approaches. Time is broken. The dead walk again...risen. The Guardian is faced with new challenges- among them, a questioning of values. Can you stand the test of time? In a tug-of-war between empathy and resentment, who will stand victor? As her present heart conflicts with her past mind, the Guardian will have to decide whether her past convictions or current commitments are more important.This story features a fireteam consisting of my OC hunter, the (former)Prince of the Reef,  and occasionally her best friend, a Warlock named Dez, or random guardians. Lore-friendly(I am a die-hard lore whore and will be updating the story accordingly until any major, impossible to reconcile retcons happen), will develop along with the coming seasons!This story does and will contain action, fluff, and thirst. If you notice any mistakes- especially grammar or lore-wise- please do not hesitate to point them out for me.
Relationships: Female Guardian/Uldren Sov, The Drifter/Guardian (Destiny), Uldren Sov/Original Character(s)
Series: The Rift [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1570591
Comments: 2
Kudos: 92





	1. Pulled Pork

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You are probably going to witness my writing change some as the story goes one. It has been a while since I've written anything other than research papers, so bear with me as I settle back into a groove and figure out what feels right stylistically x

Book: Ghost Stories

Nkechi-32 lies on the hull of her ship, skimming through gossip and salvage requisition lists on VanNet. Agu nestles in the magnificent feather ruff of her chest plate and looks out at the debris of the Reef.

"'Revised Crucible rules are garbage,' blah blah blah. How does this have like three hundred comments?" she says, flicking to the next page. "Where's the juicy stuff?"

"Hey, it's Pulled Pork," Agu says, peeking up over one of Nkechi's tremendous pauldrons.

She sits up right away, eyes lighting with interest. "Really? Where?"

Pulled Pork is the name they've given to a very sweet, very earnest Ghost that has been looking for his Guardian for about as long as they can remember. Pulled Pork is not his real name, but it feels right, like calling Mara Sov by her full name instead of just her forename.

Agu directs Nkechi's attention out into the floating scrap. Sure enough, there he is: a tiny speck moving with meticulous patience across the surface of a blasted-out Fallen Skiff. "Let's go say hi," Nkechi decides, disabling her VanNet HUD. She climbs to her feet and begins a lazy zero-gravity parkour run, leaping and drifting from one hunk of scrap to another.

"Hey, buddy!" she calls when they get close. "Whatcha doing?"

Pulled Pork finishes up a scan of a floating piece of concrete and rebar, then turns toward them.

"I am looking for my Guardian!" he chirps.

"That's nice. You gonna find him in that rock?"

"You never know, Miss Nkechi Thirty-Two. Maybe my Guardian is very small."

"Maybe," Nkechi agrees. "But you might want to consider scanning the dead, bud. That shell's pretty snappy. Is it new?" It's Reef-purple, with a flowerlike silhouette and silver detailing.

"Yes! It is. It was a gift. And, thank you for your suggestion. I have considered it! I do often scan the dead. I also scan other things. I like to be thorough." Pulled Pork bobs in place politely, almost bowing. "Please excuse me one moment!" He turns to scan a piece of warped plasteel.

They watch. Nkechi shakes her head.

"Oh, leave him alone," Agu whispers in her ear. "If he goes through every bit of scrap in the Reef, he'll find someone eventually. Sky knows there are plenty of bodies (and body parts) floating around here..."

"Yeah, we said that when we found him on Mars, and that was before Twilight Gap," Nkechi replies.

"Well. With that in mind, let's check back on him in a couple months. Who knows? Maybe he'll get lucky and find the greatest Guardian of all time."

"Shoot. YOU found the greatest Guardian of all time."

———————————————

Pulled Pork scans his way through the dreaming city, humming cheerily to himself. He rummages through a pile of stones, haphazardly spraying each rock with his light. Turning away from the pile, he glances into the distance and spots a large gazebo. He flurries excitedly over to it, darting through the pillars towards a large marble slab where an awoken corpse lies covered in a white sheet. He begins scanning the body when suddenly his shell bursts into pieces around him, suspended in a sphere of energy. The light that comprises him pulses and burns, reaching out to and through the corpse in waves. The sheet begins to move as the body is remade, reanimated. It sits up and gasps, reaching out its hands and affording a frightened glance to each as it tries to comprehend the situation. Pulled Pork can barely contain his excitement. "My Guardian!" he exclaims, hovering into its line of sight, "I've finally found you. Wake up!"


	2. Undying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Guardian is met with a surprise after a days work.

"Shit!" [ Amon ](https://imgur.com/qoDEEIV) yelled as a minotaur smashed through the last of her shields. A hobgoblin perched on top of a stone block shot at her before she had time to dodge, blasting a hole in the center of her chest. Darkness swamped her vision. Sometimes not even the combination of the [ Wormhusk Crown ](https://www.ishtar-collective.net/entries/wormhusk-crown?highlight=wormhusk) and Arc Battery could save the day. 

"Guardian down!" Ghost exclaimed to the fireteam. The ghost expands its shell protectively around her light, waiting for a teammate to revive her. The Undying Mind wasn't even that difficult- especially after killing it across hundreds of timelines- but those damn Hobgoblins sniped Amon every time she made a break for a void cranium. By the Traveler, if any one thing in battle ever broke her it was going to be either a sniping, good-for-nothing Hobgoblin/Vandal, or the Architects. Her consciousness was swamped by a burst of light and suddenly she was back on her feet. 

"Thanks, 'Vex Offender'." She nodded to the masked guardian to her right. Ever since the field-ops name policy was rolled back to a more...lenient decree in honor of Cayde-6-- who, by the way, literally put it in his will to do so- Amon had been continuously delighted by the tags running amok in her activities. It brought some much needed comic relief to the monotony of day-to-day guardian tasks. 

Shaking her head in amusement and turning back to the task at hand, she reached once more for the void cranium, stowing her designer [ Third Rail ](https://www.ishtar-collective.net/items/third-rail?highlight=third+rail) [ Riskrunner ](https://www.ishtar-collective.net/entries/riskrunner?highlight=riskrunner) (yeah, that one cost her- but fashion is worth the silver) so she can grab the device in both hands. Squaring her shoulders, she aimed the barrel at the Undying Mind's body, pulling the trigger and taking out the last of its shield.

'Ana Bray's Thick Thighs' popped their well of radiance, and she rushed to stand in it, swapping to her [ Whisper of the Worm ](https://www.ishtar-collective.net/entries/whisper-of-the-worm?highlight=whisper+of+the+worm) along the way. Standing in the well, Amon could feel the rift of solar energy course through her body, empowering her resilience and damage. She clenched her jaw in anticipation as she aimed at the Harpy's glowing red eye and fired off nine rounds as quickly as she could, but the boss still had about a quarter of its health left. 

Not wanting to toil away for another round of janitorial duties, she leaped into the air and unleashed her Shadowshot tether. Amon's light gathered up all of her void energy and concentrated it into the devastating strike, trapping the Harpy within a purple vortex and granting increased damage to her and her allies. She landed back on her feet with all the agility of a cat and quickly reloaded to fire off one more shot from Whisper. The shot found its mark in the center of a glowing red eye- a critical precision hit- and the Undying Mind was defeated. It let out a horrible screech as it collapsed into several parts before exploding into a burst of particulate matter. 

Amon picked up the blue and purple engrams scattered about and opened them as she waited to be transmatted out of the infinite forest. 

_Great, another_[ _Zenobia-D_](https://www.ishtar-collective.net/items/zenobia-d?highlight=zenobia) _rocket launcher._ Crossing her fingers for good luck, she opened the other legendary engram, hoping desperately for something with a useful roll. 

She silently cursed the Cryptarchs as she stared down at her brand new [ Cloak of Five Full Moons ](https://www.ishtar-collective.net/items/cloak-of-five-full-moons?highlight=cloak+of+five+full+moons) . As if the last 67 exact copies weren't good enough. Sighing away her existential dread, she turned to her fireteam of random guardians, doing a cross-step shuffle of commendation for them all before being pulled back into orbit.

"Ghost, take us back to the tower so I can turn in these bounties." She ordered. Ghost looked at her with his unblinking eye. "Please." She gave him an affectionate pat. 

He scurried off to commandeer the ship, and she decided to go ahead and dismantle a few items while she waited. Amon sighed heavily, pulling out several War Mantis cloaks along with her previous loot haul and throwing them into the dismantling hatch. 

If she had 10 glimmer for every [ War Mantis ](https://www.ishtar-collective.net/items/war-mantis-15?highlight=war+mantis) armor piece she ever picked up, she would never need to do a strike "for the glimmer" ever again. Bored by the sudden lack of adrenaline and monotony that is central to every commute, she started checking her armor for damage and messing with her loadout. 

_ Arc Battery, Submachinegun loader, Recovery mod, Mobility mod, Hands-on...I guess I'll keep these slotted for now. _ Amon drummed her fingers on her thigh, making a mental note to save up for a few enhancement prisms. Just two more and she could finally have Banshee masterwork her [ Shadow Grips ](https://www.ishtar-collective.net/items/shadows-grips?highlight=shadows+grips) . 

She relaxed back into the seat, closing her blue eyes and running a hand through her cropped black hair. Just as she began to doze off, she was nudged awake by the ship’s gentle shift in motion. Sitting up and glancing outside she noticed that the craft was approaching the Tower landing pad. She quickly removed her helmet, placing it into a locker, and stood ready to be transmatted into the courtyard.

Amon materialized in the courtyard, pinching her eyes shut amidst a yawning stretch. She didn't get sore often thanks to the healing powers of the Light, but it sure felt good to release the tension in her taut and overworked muscles. The few guardians outside flitted around in abject silence as they went about their business.

_ Odd, the tower isn't normally so...empty. Even at two in the morning. _

She glanced around and strained her ears in the eerie silence. Not even Kadi 55-30 was repeating her usual monotone phrases.

_ Whatever, everyone is probably just tired from fighting the invasion. _

Dismissing her confusion, she turned towards the railing where Commander Zavala usually stood and noticed that he was not there to greet her.

"Ghost, contact Ikora Rey," Amon whispered, no longer able to ignore her growing unease.

Ghost placed a call to the Warlock Vanguard, and Ikora answered as soon as the connection went through.

"Guardian," she says. Amon noticed an emotion being forcefully hidden by her tone but cannot make out what it is. "I was just about to contact you. Come to the meeting room as soon as you can, Commander Zavala and I need to speak with you."

Ikora closed the channel before Amon could utter a word in response. With a pit in her stomach, Amon turned on her heel and rushed down the Courtyard staircase towards the Vanguard's meeting room, nearly tripping over her cloak in her urgency.

_ What is going on? _ A feeling of dread was building in her stomach.

She made her way down the stairs towards the hangar, pigeons fleeing from her frenzied gait. Running through the twisted hallways of the Tower, she struggled to see without the light of the vendor stations. She ran past the Drifter’s hideout, thankful for the illumination, and noticed him slumped against a desk, fast asleep.

_ No propositions tonight, I guess.  _ Amon would never admit it, but she was secretly flattered by the attention and enjoyed Gambit more for its organizer than the event itself.

Finally turning a corner into a well-lit hallway lined with the banners of each Vanguard sub-faction, Amon burst through the heavy steel doors of the Vanguard command room. Slightly breathless, shaking like an ether addict, and still disheveled from a day's work, the huntress was a sight to behold.

Ikora whipped around to greet her, elegant purple cloak swirling around her like a protective gale. Ikora's elegance stands in stark contrast to Amon's unfortunate state. Behind her, Zavala and a male guardian- face hidden behind a helmet- stood near the table in the center of the room.

“Who’s this?” Amon gestured to the stranger, annoyed at being called in for something so insignificant. The stranger began to remove his helmet.

"Guardian, please take a moment to catch your breath. We must proceed with as much civility as possible.” Ikora rushed the words from her mouth before the helmet was completely off.

"What-” Amon panted, "the fuck!" the words left her mouth before she even realized what she was saying.

Comprehension began to form in her mind as a familiar face stared at her from across the room, seated in a cushioned chair. Chin-length black hair swooped down one side of his angular face, cropped on the other side to reveal a sharp jawline. Piercing amber eyes stood out in brilliant contrast to the pale blue skin surrounding them. Eyes looking directly at Amon. The same eyes that gazed out from under a black hood while she knelt beside Cayde's body, the same eyes that mockingly wagged his hand-cannon and said: ‘He didn't feel a thing’. The eyes of Uldren Sov, Prince of the Awoken, a traitor to the Reef, Douche Canoe in Chief of the Tangled Shore, the murderer of her best friend Cayde-6.

Eyes that Amon put a bullet in-between not a year before.

Now, a ghost with a pink floral shell danced around his head.

"I don't understand.” Tears of anger and confusion brimmed in the corners of her eyes. "H-he can't be here. I killed him. He can't be...no, no, no. He will NEVER be a guardian." She gasped as a sob ripped uncontrolled from her core, legs shaking so badly she could barely stand.

“I told you this would happen. This is how they all react.” Uldren’s features twisted in anger and confusion. Ikora rushed over to steady her and lifted Amon's face to meet her intelligent brown eyes.

"Guardian. I understand what you are thinking right now, what you are feeling. We all felt it too. We still do. I need you to listen to me." She searched Amon's eyes for any sign that she was present and hearing her words.

Trauma tore at the tender folds of Amon's mind, decimating her usual resolve and optimism with emotional pain so searing that she began to dissociate from reality. She felt her mind float out of her body, almost as if it were hovering overhead and just out of reach, and the familiar numbness she had been accustomed to for so many years returned. Amon un-holstered her Thorn and aimed it at Uldren's head, finger hovering over the trigger in a split second of lucidity before pressing down.

Ikora lunged too late, smacking her hand to try and sway the trajectory. The bullet contacted Uldren's head with a sickening thud, hand-cannon smoking and pulsing with darkness. Amon's chest heaved, ears ringing, detached and paralyzed. Zavala shoulder-charged her and sent her flying into the ground underneath him just as Uldren's lifeless body slid backward out of the chair and flopped onto the floor.

Ikora yelled something incoherent at Zavala, yanking him up and off of Amon with the strength of an entire legion of pissed off warlocks. She bent down and grabbed the Thorn, dark eyes locked with Amon's.

"Guardian. Hold your fire. Give me the weapon." She gripped the barrel. Amon relented after feeling herself return to the present with the help of Zavala's blow, and Ikora sent the hand-cannon skittering across the floor and away from the distressed hunter.

"Amon din Idril!" Zavala yelled, his broad shoulders cinched up in anger and glowing eyes practically boring a hole into her chest. Amon swallowed a flash of anger and began anxiously wringing her hands in response to the use of her full name. Fully pulling herself out of the haze, she watched as Zavala stalked over to the table and slammed his fist into it before turning and helping Uldren to his feet. Fury rolled off of the titan in hot waves.

Uldren stuttered as he stood, shaken and very much annoyed at this Guardian who he had never met. He was used to the hostility- that was why he insisted on remaining alone on the Tangled Shore- but he had never been attacked outright by a peer.

"Stand down and listen to what we have to say, or I will shield bash you off of this god damn tower. I let you act according to your emotions once, and look where it got us. I will not make the same mistake again." Zavala seethed, closing his eyes. Amon could hear the anger and also the regret he tried so vainly to hide in his voice. He was just as conflicted as her and everyone else and trying very hard to restrain himself, his 'cool as a cucumber' composure long since obliterated.

Ikora placed a warm hand over Amon's, guiding her to take a seat at the table across from Uldren. Amon stared down at the cold metal table, brows knit in thought. "It's going to be okay" Ikora whispered, squeezing her hand. "We are on your side, Amon."

Amon raised her head to look at Uldren's stupid and bewildered face, her chest surging with adrenaline once again.

"What the fuck was that?!" He gestured to the discarded weapon, and then to his head. "I don't even know you!"

The silent hunter reached for her Riskrunner to try and shoot him again, but Ikora grabbed her arm before her hand even made it to the holster.

"As much as I would love to bury a bullet in him myself, I need you to hear me out. Do not give Calus's scribes the pleasure of being correct, just this once." She was referring to a Chronicon entry that up until now was nothing but a fool's fantasy. “Don’t make me restrain you.”

Ikora looked at Zavala and tilted her chin towards a small metal door that lead to an office room. He nodded in understanding, grabbing Uldren by the arm and dragging him away into the room. The Warlock turned and spoke again. "Guardian. As you can see, we have a situation.  Uldren has been brought back as...as a Risen."

"Of all the fucking people." Amon heaved, clenching her fist. "This piece of shit gets a shot at eternal life? Fuck the Traveler." She was unable to contain the waves of emotion crashing through her body and longed for the soothing indifference to return.

"Stop it." Ikora had a pleading look in her eyes, despite her stern voice. Her slender but intimidating frame towered over Amon as she sat in the chair, trying to process what had happened. "I know what you must be feeling. I feel it too. But you have to remember that, well, that we don't remember. He is no longer the Uldren Sov that we both knew. He is a brand new life form, a clean slate. We cannot judge him based on the actions of a person that he no longer is. To do so would make hypocrites of all of us Guardians."

At last, her words broke through the barrier of hatred blocking Amon's thoughts. She would rather have her light ripped out again than die a hypocrite. Ikora knew her peeves all too well. She knew she was right, and loathed her for it at that moment. Amon struggled to take deep breaths until finally, she was able to calm down enough to stand up and face Ikora.

"I need to speak to him. I need to look into his eyes and see that he truly remembers nothing. I cannot rest my anger until then." Amon stood up to face her.

Ikora nodded and walked over to the door, knocking softly to let Zavala know it was safe for them to come out. The door creaked open, and Uldren stepped out, regarding Amon warily. She stalked over to him, squaring up her shoulders with his. Well, attempting to. He was a good foot taller than the woman, and at least twice her size. Standing on her tiptoes, Amon grasped his shoulders and gripped as tightly as she could, just in case it hurt him. She glared into his piss-yellow eyes.

_ Ok, not piss yellow. More like...like the sunset. Kind of pretty. _

Amon nearly gagged, giving herself away, as the thought crossed her mind. Being a Guardian and killing gods didn't exactly leave her with a lot of time for personal indulgence, even though propositions were boundless. It was safe to say she was a little repressed.

_ Get a fucking grip, you psycho. _

Uldren stared back at her with his golden eyes, trying very hard to lean away from her scrutinizing gaze. Amon searched his eyes and found nothing but fear and confusion. Hidden behind his bewilderment was something else. A hint of recognition. Nothing could escape her penchant for detecting people's emotions.

“Say something.” She jabbed a finger into his chest.

“I do not wish to speak with the likes of you. All your guardians are the same. Treating me like shit when I’ve done nothing wrong.” His eyes burned with anger.

“Fuck you. I don’t want to talk to you either.” She lightly shoved him into the wall. Uldren laughed, mocking her aggression.

_ Does he think this is fucking funny? _ Amon clenched her jaw and shoved him again- this time with more force- and grabbed a fistful of his gray poncho.

"Are you fucking entertained? Huh? Do I amuse you?" She nearly spit on him as he sneered down at her. His humor was probably a defense mechanism.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to laugh, it's just that...well, now that I’ve seen your face up close, I realize that I've never been killed by such a tiny woman before.” Uldren laughed at her again. Suddenly his face straightened, and his voice dropped to a low, taunting whisper. "I must say, ‘Amon’, I find myself feeling rather funny, pinned against the wall by the likes of you. Imagine what all this hatred could do."

Amon shuddered upon hearing her name in his filthy mouth. She let go of his collar and drove her knee up in between his legs. Uldren yelped in pain, clutching himself and doubling over.

"Who's laughing now, you stupid pervert." Amon stood watching him grovel in agony on the floor, a devilish grin cracking her innocent features.

“Pervert? What did he say?” Ikora was confounded by their interaction.

"Enough!" Zavala's vein was about to jump out of his forehead and strangle someone. Amon turned to address Ikora while Zavala attempted to discreetly explain to Pulled Pork that he should probably heal Uldren's unfortunate injury.

"Well, you were right about one thing. He certainly isn't the same Uldren. But I refuse to believe he’s different until I see so for myself." Amon spat out the words- laced with venom- and watched the new guardian grovel on the floor. 


	3. VanNet Cribs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Explicit content ahead. The Guardian if faced with an unfortunate situation. Uldren is very forward.

Once Uldren's jewels had recovered Zavala cleared his throat to call everyone's attention.

"Guardian.” He addressed Amon. "The current situation is this: Uldren here has been sleeping in the forest for weeks and I have yet to find him a fireteam. Unfortunately, neither Ikora nor myself have room for him to stay with either of us."

_Oh my cotton fuckin' socks, this better not be going where I think it's going._ Amon gulped.

"It is my understanding that your fireteam is chronically lacking other guardians, and since you rent an entire team apartment for yourself..." Zavala paused, looking at Uldren. Amon stared at the ceiling, dread swarming her body."Ikora and I have made the executive decision that Uldren will join your fireteam and stay with you for the time being."

"You've got to be kidding me.” She sat up, furious, and jabbed her thumb at her chest. “What did I do to deserve this? Did I die my final death and wind up in hell? Is this a Vex torture simulation?"

Ikora rested a hand on her shoulder. "Guardian, I know it seems like a bad idea. But we simply cannot place him with just any guardian. We believe you have the integrity needed to assimilate someone like him. If you can learn to trust him, the other guardians will follow suit" She laced her hands behind her back.

"Besides, I discussed cognitive therapies with one of my researchers and they proposed the idea of 'exposure therapy' to help with your, well, phobia of male Awoken." Amon glared at her, and pointed to Zavala.

"I don't have a phobia! Big Blue and I are super tight!" She gave Zavala a helpless look. Ikora rolled her eyes.

"Guardian, I'm serious. You have known Zavala for years." Ikora raises her eyebrows. "Remember the incident with that poor titan who dared make conversation with you last week?"

Amon groaned and covered her face in embarrassment as the memory came back to her.

  
  


_She was at her and Cayde's favorite ramen shop with Dez, trying to enjoy a round of spicy ramen. Unsurprisingly, Dez was more focused on scoping out the new risen for what she referred to as "fresh meat". Amon's closed her eyes, savoring the signature blend of cayenne, green onion, and sriracha. An excited nudge from Dez pulled her out of her blissful reprise._

_"Wee-woo-wee-woo, hunk police" Dez whispered, mocking the sounds of siren. "Hottie at 5 O'clock, and babe he is staring right at you!" She playfully poked Amon in the shoulder, causing her to groan and roll her eyes._

_"Wee-woo-wee-woo, call a medic because I’m about to throw myself off the tower instead." It was Dez's turn to roll her eyes._

_"Oh, come on, don't be so dramatic. When was the last time you got laid anyways? I bet you're drier than Zavala's sense of humor down there." Amon gasped, covering Dez's mouth with her hand._

_"Shut up dude, someone might hear you!" Dez was giggling uncontrollably. Suddenly she stabbed Amon in the ribs with her elbow._

_"Oh my god, He is coming over here!" She whisper-yelled, licking her thumb and trying to smooth down a wild strand of hair on the top of Amon's short pixie cut. "Girl, you sure are lucky you’re naturally gorgeous." Shaking her head, she turned around, flicking her long red hair over her shoulder and arching her back so that her curves popped out._

_Dez gestured for Amon to do the same, to which Amon responded by slumping down even further in her seat. A tall Awoken titan walked over to their table. He had lavender skin, orange eyes, and long white hair that was pulled back into a tight bun with shaved sides- a modern cut that suited his handsome features. He gave Dez a soft smile before leaning on the table across from Amon, nose pointed in her direction._

_"Haven't seen you around here before. Can I buy you a drink?" Amon looked up and made eye contact with him. She froze, muscles going completely rigid as memories flowed back and forth behind her eyes. The titan had looked just like him, if only for a moment._

_"Oh shit. Amon? Can you hear me?" Dez began shaking her by the shoulders. Amon didn't respond. Dez whipped around to face the Titan. "Run."_

_"Excuse me?" The Titan gave her a confused look. He opened his mouth to say something again, and that's when Amon's body jerked up with a violent screech as her chair slid back and toppled over._

_She lunged across the table, small hands closing around the Titan's throat with a surprising amount of strength. He struggled underneath Amon while Dez clawed at her desperately, trying to pull her off him. She squeezed, mouth clenched shut, until finally a crude snap resonated from the Titan's neck._

_She released her grip and stumbled away from his body where his ghost was frantically scanning to revive him. The crowd, previously standing in stunned silence, began to move and push forward to see if he was okay. Dez spun Amon around, grabbing her forearm and dragged her out of the crowd._

  
  


Amon lifted her head as the memory faded, a fresh wave of embarrassment washing over her and flushing her cheeks.

"OK...point taken."

Ikora smiled, satisfied with her consent.

"Very well then." She turned to Uldren. "You'll be staying with Amon until more permanent arrangements can be made. Just follow her back to her apartment. I've had my ghost consult with Pulled Pork and her ghost, they'll take care of the arrangements for tonight." Uldren sat up, mouth open in protest.

"What if she just shoots me again?" A hint of fear was apparent in his voice. Ikora chuckled and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry, we gather statistics from every Guardian's ghost. If Pulled Pork shows an excessive amount of revives, we'll take appropriate action." Amon laughed, pleased that she wasn't the only unhappy party in the arrangement. Slapping her hands on her knees, she stood up.

"Well I'm pooped, and I want to go home. You can follow me back now. Or, you can stay here. But then you'll have to sleep outside because I lock all the doors and the windows at night.”

She turned on one heel and pranced towards the door. Ghost fluttered across the room to retrieve her now-forgotten Thorn. Just as Amon placed her hand on the door, Uldren reluctantly scrambled to his feet to follow her out into the night air.

They walked back through the Tower in silence. Amon lead Uldren through a series of archways, down a set of stairs with a tree growing in the center of the bottom floor, past the ramen shop and Ikora's vex portal, and over towards the New Monarchy outpost to the double doors of her apartment building.

They stepped through the doors and began ascending the staircase up to the third floor. There was no noise other than the sound of their footsteps and the incessant chatter of their ghosts.

"Oh my, I'm so excited to have a cleaning assistant!" Ghost chirped. Pulled Pork danced in excitement.

"I've never cleaned a house before! I've never cleaned anything...just scanned a bunch of junk looking for my guardian. Is that OK?"

"Of course. I'll teach you everything you need to know. You can call me...Sensei."

"Yay! Thank you for taking me under your wing, Ghost-sensei!" Pulled Pork twirled in his shell.

Amon and Uldren groaned simultaneously. Glancing back, Amon caught his eyes on her. Uldren smirked at her, a nervous chuckle emanating from his throat. She couldn't help but giggle herself, listening to their ghosts converse. Adorable creatures, really. The world didn't deserve ghosts.

Finally reaching her front door, Amon pulled out a key chain and fumbled for a moment before finding the correct key. She unlocked the door and pushed it open, revealing a surprisingly cozy room.

The walls are painted a plain dark blue, and sleek wood floors are covered in a white plush rug. Pillows of various shapes and sizes litter a black love seat that sits opposite a small tv stand and a coffee table cluttered with books and empty coffee cups. The back wall of the living room opens onto a small balcony overlooking the area outside the front of the complex.

Stepping inside, Amon immediately transmatted her shoes away and plunged onto the sofa. Uldren stood awkwardly in the entryway and cleared his throat.

"Oh, right." Amon begrudgingly got up off of the couch. She turned to face Uldren. "So...this is the living room." She is suddenly self-conscious under his intense gaze.

_No kidding, Amon_. She turned and pointed to a red wooden door on the far wall beneath the staircase.

"That is my bedroom. Don't go in there." She glared at him for effect. Uldren nodded in bored submission. Amon ignored him and started up a small wooden staircase. She stopped at the top of the stairs, pointing to a door at the end of the hallway.

"That's the spare room. You can stay there." She turned to the left, opening another door to reveal a small, tidy bathroom with blue tile floors, a shower tub, an old toilet, and contradictory modern sink. She gestured to the bathroom dramatically. "And this is the bathroom you can use. Viola."

She spun around on the wooden floor her sock-covered toes. Uldren raised an eyebrow, a smile playing on his lips. Amon straightened out in embarrassment, cheeks flushed pink.

"Right." She looked down at her feet. "Have at it. G'Night." She rushed past him down the stairs. Once again, Amon dove into the mound of pillows, melting into their soft embrace. She sighed, exhaustion coursing through her body. She closed her eyes and began to drift off to the sound of water running upstairs.

Sometime later, Amon was startled awake by the sound of footsteps creaking down the stairs. Momentarily forgetting that she had a guest, she bolted upright, a blanket catching on her head and draping around her shoulders like an ugly, fuzzy cloak. She blinked groggily as the figure on the stairs came into focus.

Uldren was wearing a pair of loose gray sweatpants. A white tank top clung to is frame, displaying the outline of his toned chest and abdomen. He jostled his wet black hair with a towel, and Amon was mesmerized by the rippling of his lean muscles. Despite some weight loss, he still retained a desirable form.

_God damn, he looks even better when he's out of that armor._

She thought back to the Taken war years ago, when she fought Oryx. She remembered having a slight crush back then, but that was before he became corrupted. In fact, it wasn't so much as a crush as it was...a pull, something had always drawn her to him. Even when he lay beneath her with a gun pointed at his skull there was a moment of hesitation, a pang of something she couldn't out to words. Her thoughts trailed off as she watched a drop of water roll down his neck, across his collarbone, and disappear into his chest, hidden by the top. Amon bit her lip, completely forgetting herself.

"Hello? Guardian?" Uldren noticed her gawk. He walked over and bent down so that his face was level with Amons. "You're welcome for the free show. Next time I'm going to charge you for that." He smirked at her.

Amon snapped back to reality and scrambled away from him, her cheeks so hot they could have melted. He laughed at her embarrassment, seizing the opportunity to pester her.

"Damn, been awhile has it?"

"Fuck off, I just zoned out, I wasn't looking at you." Amon covered her face with a pillow. Uldren stepped forward, pushing the pillow down so he could see her face.

"You know, Guardian...I know you're supposed to be training me, but perhaps there are some skills I could teach you as well." His tone was sultry, eyes full of suggestion.

Amon knew he was just pushing her buttons, screwing with her as payback for killing him. Funny how he already knew what made her squirm. She gulped and opened her mouth to protest. Uldren swiftly closed the distance between them and grabbed her chin, amber eyes boring into hers. He was so close she could feel his warm breath on her face.

She licked her lips, lost in thought as she tried desperately to think about anything other than how toned he was. How long it had been since she was with someone. How she had never been with anyone- not in this life, at least.

Amon squeezed her eyes shut. She should’ve just pulled away and shot him. Why wasn’t she pulling away?

Uldren leaned in closer, his lips just a hair's breadth away from hers. He reached down and started tracing circles on her thigh with his fingertips, slowly working his way higher. Amon froze, unable to move.

_What is happening to me? What is wrong with me?_ She felt herself leaning forward, instinctively trying to close the distance. His other hand reached down and began toying with the buckles on her armor.

_Oh my god, I let him come into my house and feel me up. And I'm enjoying it. I really need to find a therapist. I should report this as harassment._

Just as the thought crossed her mind, he put a finger to his lips as if to shush her. "What happens here isn't the Vanguard's business."

Amon was beside herself, she couldn't believe that she was actually starved enough for attention to allow this to happen. The hand on her leg inched higher and higher, closer to her core, while he undid the buckles of her armor one by one with the other. A shiver ran down her spine, and she closed her eyes.

Uldren slowly leaned forward, just barely pressing his lips against hers. She sighed, leaning forwards into the kiss. Something about it felt natural and easy. Familiar, almost. They remained like that for several moments- unmoving- just brushing against one another.

Suddenly Uldren dove into the kiss, deepening it tenfold. His lips crashed over hers and she began to kiss him back with all the desperation of a 5-year dry spell. One hand gripped her thigh and the other moved to her shoulder, pushing her back onto the mess of pillows. Amon snapped to transmat her armor away, leaving her in only a thin cotton shirt and leggings.

Uldren's hand snaked up her thigh and pushed her shirt up past her waist, stopping just below her breasts. Still kissing her ferociously, he bit her lip and let out a low growl before swirling his tongue with hers. Amon clutched at the bottom of his shirt and without missing a beat he broke the kiss, whisked it off, and then leaned back down to meet her.

She was now pinned underneath him on the couch, legs curled beneath his so that he was straddling her, trapping her. Taking advantage of the position, he slid his hand back down her stomach, pausing just above the hem of her leggings. Amon felt heat pooling in her stomach, a familiar but forgotten ache throbbing just out of his reach.

_It feels like I peed my pants. Is this normal? I can't remember._

She moaned as his hand reached just barely underneath the top of her leggings, her wetness growing.

_Fuck, just do something already._ She was too nervous to take matters into her own hands.

As if reading her mind, Uldren's hand slid down even further, cupping her and feeling the wetness through her panties.

"My, My." He chuckled, breaking the kiss. "Someone's certainly hot and bothered."

Annoyance briefly replaced her arousal, and she pulled his head back down to connect with hers. He grabbed the hand on his head and gently pinned it back above her head, beginning to slowly massage circles into her clit. Amon moaned and bucked her hips into the pressure, completely overwhelmed with pleasure she hadn't felt since before she had been risen.

He slowly increased the pace and the pressure, and after less than a minute Amon could feel herself teetering on the edge of an orgasm. She gasped, nails digging into his back. Just as she was about to spill over, he suddenly pulled away, letting go of her wrist and removing his hand from her pants.

In one fluid motion he stood up, pulled his shirt back on, and stepped back to look at her. He smiled devilishly at the sight before him. A young, pretty female, spread out on the sofa, too shocked to even speak. He jerked his thumb to the right.

"I'm hungry. Guessing that's the kitchen?" He turned around, laughing handsomely to himself on his way into the next room.

Amon laid on the sofa in stunned silence at what had just transpired. She wanted to cry, to protest, to tackle him and force him to finish the job, even to beg. But how could she? How could she admit plainly that she enjoyed what just happened? She couldn't. Her pride would not allow it. So she laid there in silence, trying to calm down and catch her breath, as Uldren hummed away in her kitchen.

"What the actual fuck." She spoke to herself, still unable to move due to a mixture of embarrassment, rage and shell shock. Evetually she bolted upright, fixed the pillows, and scurried into her room, shutting and locking the door behind her before she had to face him again.


	4. A Key Awaits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cutscene transcript from D1

2016.04.02

.

..

...

Begin transcript

**THE GUARDIAN ENTERS THE QUEEN'S THRONE ROOM**

Mara Sov:It is alive...and still has its ball...

Uldren Sov:There is no shame in running away, Guardian. Apart from the cowardice and failure of it, it's an excellent strategy.

Guardian:We didn't run.

**THE QUEEN AND ULDREN SOV EXCHANGE LOOKS OF CONFUSION**

Mara Sov: Was no Gate Lord slain, brother?

Ghost: Oh, we slayed a Gate Lord!

Guardian:Ghost...

**THE GHOST TRANSMATS THE VEX HEAD INTO THE THRONE ROOM.**

Guardian: We need to find the Black Garden.

Uldren Sov: Hmph...they don't even know where it is.

Mara Sov: Let us tell them. Search the Gate Lord for that which gains them entrance.

Uldren Sov: Why?! If you wish them certain death, just kill them here!

Mara Sov: Often, when we guess at others' motives, we reveal only our own.

Uldren Sov: My motive is simply loyalty, to a people, a Queen and a sister.

**ULDREN KNEELS BEFORE HIS QUEEN**

Mara Sov: Then, please. Take what is required.

**ULDREN SOV DRAWS HIS KNIFE AND PLUNGES IT IN THE GATE LORD, RIPPING OUT THE EYE AND SMILING AS ITS GLOW DISAPPEARS.**

Uldren Sov: Dead, unfortunately. A wasted journey, I'm afraid.

Mara Sov:Perhaps, but I think these ones resourceful. We gift it, in sympathy for their Traveler.

**ULDREN SOV TURNS AWAY FROM HIS SISTER, SCOWLS, AND TURNS TO THE GUARDIAN.**

Uldren Sov: Mars. Eighty-Four North, Thirty-Two East, Meridian Bay.

**ULDREN SOV TOSSES THE EYE TO THE GUARDIAN.**

**MARA SOV STANDS**

Mara Sov: I have shown you benevolence, Guardian. Should the Awoken ever need an ally I will call on you. And expect you to answer.

Uldren Sov: She's saying you owe us, Guardian.

Guardian: I understand. Your grace.

**THE GUARDIAN TURNS AND LEAVES, THEIR GHOST FLOATING FOR A MOMENT BEFORE FOLLOWING.**

Uldren Sov: Good luck! Getting through the Exclusion Zone.


	5. Otherside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Otherside is the name of the exotic sparrow Amon uses) Uldren researches his past. Amon tries to forget the night before. They both set off for their first day as a fireteam.

Amon was awoken bright and early by her ghost. 

“Eyes up, Guardian!” Ghost hovered right above her face.

She smiled to herself, stretching out her legs and pointing her toes. Opening her eyes, she took a moment to appreciate her state of coziness. She lie wrapped in a warm duvet, golden sunlight filtering in through a window to her left, illuminating her various titles hanging on the wall. 

_ Dredgen, Chronicler, Wayfarer.  _ She stopped naming them off with a huff. She really needed to work on the other titles. 

“Ghost, next season please remind me to actually finish the activity achievements and not just the collections.” Ghost lit up and twirled his shell. 

“Noted, Guardian. However, I fear you will not cope well with the monotony such an achievement will require” he postulated. Amon groaned in annoyance. 

“Oh, Ghost, that's mighty rich coming from someone who can barely open a door.” 

Amon knew he meant all the best, but bantered nonetheless. Ghost zapped her with his light. 

“Ow! Watch it!”He zaps her again. “Ok, ok, I’m sorry little light. C’mere.” She tilted her head to the side. Ghost fluttered over and nuzzled into the crook of her neck. “You know I love you, little light.” 

After relishing in the peace and quiet for just a moment, she begrudgingly threw off the covers and signaled for Ghost to transmat her armor on. She shuffled towards the door in desperate need of caffeine and was about to turn the knob when the events of the previous night came rushing back to her. Amon froze, embarrassment flushing her cheeks. __

_ Shit. Act natural.  _ With a stone-cold poker face, Amon slowly creaked open the door.

Gazing out into the living room, she spotted Uldren sitting on the sofa with his back to her. She clenched her fist, annoyed by his immediate presence. Time to make a break for it. Amon sucked in a deep breath and scuttled as quickly as she could across the living room floor and into the kitchen. Once she was safely hidden behind the kitchen wall, she let out the breath she had been holding.

Walking over to the granite countertop lining the wall, she flicked the light on the coffee machine. Ghost had thoughtfully prepared the filter and the coffee grounds for her the previous evening before they went to bed. As the coffee began to drip into the pot, Amon reached up and opened the cabinet, grabbing a white mug with the name “Joe” on it. She giggled to herself. That pun never got old. 

Amon drummed her fingers on the counter while she waited for the coffee to finish brewing, the smell of the heated grounds beginning to waft from the machine.

_ Should I pour him a cup too?  _ She rubbed her temples, closing her eyes.  _ Nah, to forward. I’ll ask him first. _

The machine dinged, notifying Amon that the beverage was ready. She poured herself a full cup and took a sip, savoring the smooth fruity flavor. Ghost buzzed around her. 

“Cream?” He shifted towards the small refrigerator. 

“Not today. Thanks Ghost.” 

Taking a moment to herself to sip the hot drink, Amon gazed out the window, taking in the gorgeous view of the Traveler. The hulking white machine loomed over the city protectively. Sometimes, though, it felt nothing but ominous. The tenets of the Speakers echoed in her mind. 

_ The Traveler is good. The Traveler is sentient. The Traveler will save us. The Traveler will leave us. _

Clearing her thoughts, she steeled herself and began walking towards the open archway that separates the kitchen from the living room. Amon hesitated before carefully peeking around the corner. Uldren sat on the couch, brows knit in concentration as he poured over one of her lore books. ‘The Forsaken Prince’ she read, spotting the title of the book. 

“I see you’re enjoying my collection.”

He looked up at her, amber eyes unreadable. Uldren closed the book and set it down on the pile, a look of regret crossing his face. 

“Yes.” He met her eyes once again with his own. “I was just reading about my past, trying to understand where I fit into all of this.” He gestured to the apartment, turning his head to look out the window. “For what it's worth...I’m sorry for what I did in the past. I do not know if I deserve your forgiveness, but I do know that I am no longer the man I was. I will do everything in my power to earn your trust again.”

“Again?”

“Sorry, it slipped out. I’m not sure where from.” He shifted uncomfortably in their shared confusion, running a hand through his hair. 

Thoughts raced through Amon’s head as she examined the genuine emotion behind his words, and ultimately decided not to press the issue further. At least, not right then. 

“Thank you.” She nodded her head, swallowing her discomfort. “Would you like some coffee? We need to head to the Courtyard in 10.” 

He nodded gratefully and stood up, stretching his arms above his head. Amon noticed that he was still wearing the same clothing from the night before. The white tank top hiked up his torso, exposing the flesh above his hips. She noticed the toned muscles extending down into his sweatpants. 

Amon pushed the thoughts away, her face growing hot. Uldren brought his arms down and looked over at her, noticing the blush. His mouth twisted into a smirk, and he stepped forward to move past her into the kitchen. He seized her wrist in his hand as he moved by, leaning down to whisper in her ear. 

“I’m looking forward to our day together.” 

Amon jerked free from his grip and stomped off to her room. 

“Be ready in 5!” She slammed the door shut. 

—————————

The pair of hunters made their rounds in the Courtyard, and Amon instructed Uldren on which bounties to pick up. His helmet went on as soon as they left the apartment, and he happily let her do the talking for him. Uldren reminded her that he didn’t have any glimmer yet, to which Amon responded by having Ghost wire him 5,000 glimmer. Glimmer the Vanguard was supposed to give every new guardian anyways. Zavala owed her for that. 

“The fastest and easiest way to get glimmer is by doing strikes. You get 2,500 per completion.” She pulled out a small communication tablet as if to look at a schedule. “We can probably do a few this week, if you want.” 

“Sounds good to me.” He keeps his voice low. Amon turned to him, thinking. 

“Zavala should have given you a damaged sidearm, a Sorrow MG2, and a Stubborn Oak shotgun. Yes?” 

He nodded, pulling a beat up hand cannon from the holster on his belt. 

_ Thank god they at least remembered to arm him _ . Amon made a note to complain to Zavala later.

“Perfect. Those are pretty shitty but we’ll pick you up some better weapons in no time.” Uldren frowned.

“Why would they give me bad weapons. What's the use of a damaged sidearm?” Amon shrugged.

“Budget cuts, probably. We’ve had a huge influx of new risen lately.” 

“Interesting.”

“Indeed.” 

Amon gestured for him to follow her to the hangar where her ship was parked.

“We’re headed to Io for the day. I don’t have a fireteam, so it’s just the two of us.” Amon looked away from him, turning on her heel to head towards a ship platform. The hunters climbed into Amon’s ship and set course for Io. As they took off, Uldren tapped Amon on the shoulder, a questioning look on his face. 

“I read about Io last night in one of your books. Is it true that a large shard of the Traveler crashed there?” 

“Yep. Huge [ crater](https://assets.vg247.com/current/2017/09/destiny_2_emb_env_io_5.jpg) , it’ll be visible over the ridge where we land. Can’t miss it.” 

As the ship approached the bright green planet, a huge fleet of stalled Guardian ships are visible suspended in orbit. They really needed to build a port down there. 

_ Looks like it's going to be crowded today. Makes sense, since it's almost the end of the week. _

Uldren opened his mouth to pose another question.

“What are all those ships doing here?” 

“Io is the flashpoint this week. A flashpoint is an area the Vanguard deems ‘High priority’ and changes roughly every week.” Amon spun around in her seat. “We are clearing out the last of the Vex invasions here and on the Moon, but the moon is pretty much always high priority so it's never a flashpoint. I’ll explain that later, though. You’ve...missed quite a bit since I killed you.” Amon gave him a sour look, and he put his hands up defensively.

“Right. Well, I expect you’ll catch me up in due time.” His face was hidden but his annoyance was evident in his voice.

“Alright, grab your stuff. Ghost, transmat as soon as we arrive.” She stood up, clasping her hands together.

“Aye aye captain!” Ghost and Pulled Pork attempted to salute, but remembered they didn’t have any arms. Or bodies, for that matter. Even their ghost shells were nothing but just that- a protective shell, a sort of armor that could be easily swapped with other options. The two ghosts blinked at each other before erupting into robotic giggles. Amon and Uldren couldn’t help but laugh at their goofiness as they were beamed down to the surface. 

——————————

Materializing on the [ surface](https://www.windowscentral.com/sites/wpcentral.com/files/styles/larger/public/field/image/2017/09/Io-4_0.jpg?itok=y19mz4kX) , Amon allowed Uldren a moment to take in their surroundings. Prehnite, a green silicate, and lichens cover the yellow, oxidized stone comprising most of Io’s surface. Despite the Travelers terraforming, sulfur dioxide snowfields still litter the planet thanks to eons of volcanic activity, and thick veins of ice ran through the igneous rock formations like roots. The ground pitches and slopes with old volcanic formations, and a large triangular Vex construct is visible in the distance, glittering and angular in contrast to Io’s rough basaltic surface. The moon’s once thin atmosphere is breathable for humans now, so the atmospheric modulators inside the Guardian’s helmets go unused here. 

Uldren murmured something to himself, awestruck by the alien land before him. Amon nudged him. 

“You think this is cool? Wait until you see Nessus.” Uldren looked at her and raised his eyebrows. 

“Assuming there's a hint of truth in there, I’ll be surprised to see someplace more enrapturing.”

Amon strutted off in the direction of Asher Mir’s camp, leaving Uldren to follow her lead.

“You might want to put your ghost away, buddy.” She called back to him without even turning in his direction. He looked at pulled pork, who stalled for a moment before dematerializing and syncing with his inner light. 

Asher Mir stood before a small triangular formation, courtesy of vex terraforming efforts. His robotic right arm was folded behind his back, head bowed, pensive and grumpy as ever. Uldren reached out and grabbed Amon’s shoulder, stopping her before she could enter Asher’s line of sight. 

“Why does he have a Vex arm?” Amon frowned, a wave of pity washing over her as she glanced at the old Gensym Scribe. She lowered her voice to a whisper. 

“Asher has been researching the Vex for a long time. Legend is that he once entered the Pyramidion with two hunters. They encountered Brakion, the Genesis mind. The Vex attempted to experiment on Asher and his companions, injecting them with radiolarian fluid and trying to augment them.” She shifted from one leg to the other. “Somehow they all managed to survive, but Asher’s ghost was heavily augmented and his right arm was replaced with that of a Goblins. He has never allowed his ghost to resurrect him since then, out of fear that he will come back completely taken over by the creeping mechanization.” 

“And we are supposed to be fighting these creatures today?” Uldren shuddered in horror. 

Amon smiled and shook her head, looking him in the eyes. 

“Don’t worry, we won’t be fighting any Genesis Minds today. Besides, you’ve got a God Killer on your side.” She winked at him, and Uldren scoffed at her arrogance. “Funny, you used to be quite interested in the Vex. Even told me how to get to the Black Garden.”

Without allowing him to respond, Amon approached the Warlock and cleared her throat. 

“Hey gramps!” 

Asher Mir turned around, disdain evident in his features as he afforded Amon a shallow bow of greeting. 

“Hello assistant.” His grumpy features only slightly softened. Then he noticed the masked Uldren hovering behind her and a scowl broke out across his features. “I didn’t realize you were consorting with the likes of traitors these days.”

“Calm down geezer.” She broke out in a sweat. Damn Asher and his keen eyes. Not even a helmet could hide the truth from him. “He’s a guardian now, a new person, cut him some slack. Lord knows I’m trying to myself.”

“So I’ve been told.” He grunted, moving his eyes back to Amon. “Well it's good you are here assistant. I have several assignments for you. I need you to complete some patrols for me and gather data on the Vex’s numbers. While you’re at it, please take care of any taken blights you may com across.”

“Sure thing hoss.”

Amon’s word choice elicited a grumpy huff from the old awoken. Grabbing Uldren by the arm, she began pulling him away from the camp to a narrow road that cut through the landscape. She summoned her sparrow, skull blazing on the front. Amon realized that they forgot to swing by Amanda Holliday’s shop to pick up a sparrow for Uldren. 

_ God dammit.  _ She climbed onto the [ sparrow](https://www.ishtar-collective.net/entries/otherside?highlight=otherside) with a huff of annoyance.

“Hop on.”

He obeyed, swinging a leg over the back of the seat and pressing his body against her back. Like, really close against her back. Too close. Amon gritted her teeth as Uldren snaked his arms around her front, clasping his hands over her stomach to hold on. She was not okay with this. But alas, duty called. 

She set her sights on the horizon where a taken blight was just beginning to form. Twisting the front right handle, she revved the sparrow’s engine and they sped off towards the event. 


	6. Déjà vu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: explicit. 
> 
> Things get heated when they get back to the apartment. Aftercare jogs Amon's memory.

Amon flopped once again into the mound of pillows sitting atop her couch, completely exhausted from a day of babysitting. She transmatted her armor away in favor of a comfortable blue knit-sweater and a pair of black boyshorts, completely forgetting that she was lying ass-up on her stomach with an adult man standing behind her. Uldren sniggered at her. 

“Thanks for the free show.” He leaned back on the wall, watching her contentedly. 

“Shit!” Amon frantically pulled her sweater down over her butt and knocked off several pillows while doing so. 

She buried her face to hide her flushed cheeks. The room was silent apart from the quiet hum of a ceiling fan. Amon was wallowing in shame with both hands grasping the back of her head when a weight was suddenly on top of her.

“What the fuck are you doing?” 

Uldren had moved from the wall to grab both of her hands in his and pin her small wrists above her. His other hand slid down her back and pulled up her sweater so he could rest it on her exposed ass. He adjusted himself so that his knees were on either side of her legs, hips angled above hers. He leaned down and she could feel his breath on her ear. 

“Thanks for showing me around today. Mind if I return the favor?”

Amon, against all logic, gulped and nodded her head, giving in to the magnetic pull she felt towards him. With her consent, he began to softly kiss and nibble on her neck while his large hand palmed her ass. Amon let out a soft moan as he sucked on an erogenous zone near her shoulder. His hand slipped down between her legs so he could draw his finger up and down her slit, feeling her through her shorts. 

Amon began to breathe heavily as her wetness grew and spread. Uldren chuckled against her neck, pleased with himself.

“Sensitive, are we?”

Amon suppressed another moan when she felt the rumbling of his voice through his chest. 

_Fuck_ , _Banshee-44 has nothing on this guy’s vocals_.

Uldren yanked her shorts to the side and she gasped as the cold air made contact with her labia. He slid his finger down between her folds again, gathering wetness, and then brought his hand up to her mouth.

“Taste yourself.”

Amon obliged, sucking on his finger and dragging her tongue along its length. He removed his finger from her mouth and placed it back at her center, teasing her entrance before slowly sliding his finger inside of her. She gasped at the sensation, arching her hips up as he set a slow pace. He held her like that for a while and listened to the soft moans spilling out of her mouth. 

He gently added another finger and began to pump faster, fingers curling in a ‘come here’ motion and dragging along her sweet spot. She cried out in pleasure, rapidly approaching the edge of her climax. 

“Fuck, you’re so hot.” 

His words sent Amon over the edge, an intense orgasm welling up inside her and coursing out through her entire body. He kept fingering her throughout her release, prolonging the pleasure and allowing him to observe the way her muscles contracted and relaxed when she came. Panting in the afterglow amon turned her head to the side and muttered something incoherent. 

“Hmm?” He pulled his fingers out of her. 

“Let go of me. I want to face you.” She barely had enough oxygen to finish her sentence.

Uldren obeyed, letting go of her wrists and sitting back so he could help her turn over onto her back. Amon bit her lip and tugged at the buckle on his chest plate. Smirking, uldren flicked his hand and transmats his armor away, leaving him shirtless wearing another pair of grey sweatpants. 

Amon noticed a scar on his chest, but filed it away as something to ask about later. She reached out and gently raked her nails down the soft blue skin covering his abs, gripping the hem of his pants and trying to pull him down over her small frame. She parted her legs as he bent forward, allowing him to prop himself between her hip bones. She grabbed the back of his neck, pulling his head down towards hers. Complying with her demands, his lips met hers and kissed them softly. 

Amon moved her hand down his stomach and toyed with the drawstrings of his sweatpants. After a moment she slid it further down, feeling the bulge beneath his pants. His breath hitched in his throat for a split second and then he began kissing her hungrily. She tangled her free hand in his black hair as he crashed his mouth into hers, desperate to have him closer.

Amon moved her hand inside his pants, pulling away to look into his eyes. She curled her delicate hand around his cock, feeling him grow harder at her touch. He moaned and closed his eyes as she began to gently stroke her hand up and down his shaft. 

_Thank god he isn’t massive._ It's been so long, and the thought of a challenge like that made her cringe. That wasn’t to say he’s small either. Amon was reminded of the tale of Goldilocks. 

_Just right_.

Uldren leaned back down to kiss her, tongues intertwining. She applied a bit more pressure and grazed her thumb across his tip, causing him to hiss and jerk his hips back, grabbing her wrist and pulling her hand away.

“Stop.” His pupils were dilated, blown to twice their usual size with lust. “I won’t last if you keep that up.” 

“Look who's hot and bothered now.” Amon smiled and bit her lip playfully. 

“Please. Don’t pretend you aren’t flowing like a waterfall of radiolarian right now.” 

“No comment.” She winked at him before leaning up to try and catch his mouth on hers. He turned his head away and ground his hips down onto hers, and she moaned at the feeling of him pressed against her core.

“I want to see you.” He ran his hand up her side, feeling her curves.

Amon obliged, and Uldren helped her pull the sweater up and over her head. He cast it to the side and it landed on the book-covered coffee table. Suddenly self conscious, she moved to try and cover herself, but Uldren grabbed her arms to stop her. 

“Don’t hide from me.” He practically growled as he moved her arms away to admire her petite figure. 

He cupped her small breast, and it fit perfectly in his hand. Palming her right breast in one hand, he leaned down to suck on the exposed nipple of her left. Amon shivered and mewled in pleasure, the aching between her legs quickly becoming unbearable. He stopped and brought his face back up to kiss her. 

“Uldren.” She whimpered against his lips. “I need you inside me.” 

His mouth curved up into a smile and with a flick of his wrist, both of their pants were transmatted away. He pressed his hips against hers, dry humping her and teasingly rubbing against her entrance. 

“Damn, I guess I don’t have to worry about forgetting lube with you.” Amon groaned in response.

“Stop teasing me.” She whined softly as he continued to tease her. “Please.”

Placing his forehead against hers, Uldren lined himself up at her entrance and slowly pushed his tip in. He saw her wince in pain as he pushed his cock further inside of her so he stopped, allowing her to adjust to him. She closed her eyes for a few moments before whispering for him to move. 

At her behest, he began gently thrusting into her- slow, deep, and sensual. Moans of pleasure spilled from her mouth and he gradually picked up his pace. Amon reached out and grabbed his hips, pulling him deeper inside her, desperately trying to make contact with her sweet spot. The room was filled with ragged breaths and moans, and the sound of their blue bodies slapping against each other as Uldren pounded into her. 

Amon felt the pleasure pooling in her core. Walls clenching around his cock, she was about to burst. She bucked her hips in sync with his thrusts and he slammed into her G-spot. She cried out as her orgasm washed over her, toes curling and nails raking down his back, nearly drawing blood. Uldren fucked her through her climax, rapidly approaching his own. 

“Fuck.” His thrusts became sloppy. 

Amon watched his eyes shut and his lips part as he came inside of her. His thrusts slowed to a stop and he rested his head above her shoulder, stilling inside her. They both breathed heavily, still coming down from the high. 

Finally he pulled out, sitting back and wiping sweat from his brow while looking down at her with a grin and watching the hot cum trickle out of her entrance. His sweatpants rematerialized and he scooped her up bridal-style into his strong arms.

“Put me down!” Amon began beating on his chest. 

“Relax. I’m just taking you to the bathroom to help you clean off.” A look of realization crossed her face. 

“Oh yeah. I forgot about that part.” She shook her head as Uldren let out another throaty laugh.

He carried her swiftly up the staircase and through the door to the left, depositing her on the toilet like a toddler. 

“Ow! It’s cold.” Uldren rolled his eyes, grabbing a blue bath towel and draping it around her shoulders. “Thanks.”

Amon sat for a few minutes, letting the fluids drip out of her. Thank the Traveler Guardians couldn’t get pregnant. Uldren handed her some tissues and prepared a warm washcloth for her. She wiped up everything she could and then threw the tissues into the toilet bowl. Uldren handed her the damp cloth, implying that she should wipe herself off. 

“Wait, I need to pee first. Can you, like, turn around?” 

“Seriously?” Uldren looked at her incredulously and Amon kicked him in the shin. 

“You’re so childish.” He turned away towards the wall. “Its not like I haven’t seen you naked before.” 

_Amon wrapped herself in a towel and exited the bathroom to find him sitting on the edge of her bed._

_“Who let you in here?”_

_“Your gracious mother, who else. I was bringing by a package for her.”_

_“Don’t you have better things to do?”_

_“Yes, but I wanted to listen to you sing.”_

_She blushed and clutched the towel to her chest. Water rolled off her long black hair and dripped onto the floor._

_“You have a towel.” Uldren points a finger at her, and then to the growing puddle underneath her. “You should wipe that up.”_

_“But I’m using the towel right now!” She glared at him as he stood and towered over her._

_“Please, woman. I’ve seen your body before.”_

_“Only once.” She turned bright pink and looked down at her toes._

_“Exactly. Far too few occasions.” He stepped towards her._

Amon snapped back to reality a few minutes later and swiftly pushed the memory- no, the waking dream- out of her mind. She kicked him again in the back of the leg. 

“What the hell!” He turned around to glare at her.

“You’re in no position to call me a child. You’ve hardly been risen for a year!” 

“Do you really think a child could do those things to you?” Uldren turned around and grabbed her by the chin. She gulped, acutely aware of the fact that she was still- rather unattractively- peeing like a horse. 

“You’re disgusting.” 

“Didn’t seem to think so a few minutes ago.” Uldren’s amber eyes bore into her. 

“Just give me the damn towel.” She reached over and snatched the wet cloth out of his hand. “It's cold now.”

“Well maybe if you didn’t zone out or run your mouth it wouldn’t be.”

“Fuck you!” She decided to wipe herself with it anyways and tried not to wince from the cold sensation. 

Once she was cleaned off, she stood up and shoved him backwards into the wall so she could stomp out of the bathroom. 

“I’m going to sleep. Goodnight!” She walked towards her room and was suddenly overcome with shame and disgust.

 _I really just fucked my friend’s killer_ . _I even let him come inside me. And then I fantasized about a fake relationship with him. By the Traveler, I really am losing my shit._

Amon thought back to her experiences on the moon, remembering how the darkness overwhelmed and corrupted Ghost. Maybe it had affected her along with the strange dreams she was having. Leaning back against her closed bedroom door, she slid down to the ground and brought her knees to her chest, struggling to fight back tears. 

_What is happening to me?_


	7. Thorn

**[Thorn](https://www.ishtar-collective.net/entries/thorn?highlight=thorn) **

.

_added in_ Season of the Drifter

.

"To rend one's enemies is to see them not as equals, but objects—hollow of spirit and meaning." — _13th Understanding, 7th Book of Sorrow_

.

"The Weapons of Sorrow are not the endgame, but a road map. Each evolution, every advance in the delivery of pain and the mastery of destruction feeds the Hive's hateful weapons research. They will map every scream, harness every aggression, until they understand every method by which to ravage the hearts, minds, and flesh of man. And in doing so, they will turn us against ourselves—feeding our lust, our greed, our fear, until we become a threat unto ourselves like none we could imagine. So, wield these, angry reaper. Strive to know the darkness in your own heart. Walk in the shadows of fallen heroes. And know that you are an enemy of hope."

—a warning


	8. A Murder of Crows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amon gives Uldren something from his past. Ghost is a slave. Lakshmi-2 speaks in riddles. The team goes shopping.

She stared blankly at the wall as she nursed her cup of coffee, the smooth dark liquid spreading its warmth throughout her body with each sip. Amon didn’t get a wink of sleep the previous few nights, kept awake by ruminating thoughts about the Darkness, what she witnessed on the moon, and strange dreams featuring the man she hated the most. The hulking black Pyramid haunted her dreams, taunting her with its seductive poetry, using her race and her desires against her as it tried to pull her into the darkness with it. 

She could feel it in quiet moments like that one, a faint whisper in the back of her mind. When she used her thorn the voices become even louder. Amon had always been a hyperactive go-getter, but even more so lately- an effort made to keep herself occupied in order to cope with the burden of her knowledge. 

She closed her eyes, trying to focus on the sounds of the tower outside her window. Banners snapped and contorted in the strong breeze, and the quiet hum of machinery floated through the walls of the Dead Orbit hangar next to her building. She heard the clanking and tinkling of metal coming from the Bazaar, followed by cheerful greetings as vendors set up for the day. The soft classical music of a pre-Golden era composer flowed out from the New Monarchy plaza. 

She finally refocused her thoughts on something else, something more present. Amon was still completely blindsided by her own neglected needs that she had somehow managed to convince herself to be irrelevant for the past 5 years, and what her inaction consequently lead her to do. She pouted, thinking of all the missed opportunities. Wasting her youth. 

_ Oh well, no time like the present.  _

She downed the last bit of her drink, now growing cold, and slammed the mug on the ground. 

“Ghost, ‘nother round of the good stuff would you please.” She spoke in a fake drawl, a poor imitation of the Drifter. 

Ghost floated a ball of the brown liquid over to her mug and let it splash into the ceramic container. 

“Arms aren’t the only thing Fallen have four of.” Ghost used robotic simulation of the Drifter’s voice. “Transmat firing!” 

Amon choked on her coffee, giggling, and Pulled Pork fluttered into the Kitchen. 

“Ghost, is that true?” His tone was completely innocent, and she started howling with laughter as Ghost tried to explain the joke to him. 

“Well, technically, I don’t actually know.” Ghost was interrupted by the sound of Amon falling out of her stool, clutching her stomach. 

Still laughing like a child and with tears forming in her eyes, Ghost wondered if she was delirious from her lack of sleep. Uldren heard the cacophony of noise and rushed down the stairs into the kitchen, an alarmed look on his face as he took in the scene before him. Ghost looked him in the eye. 

“Guardian down!” 

“You are so easily amused.” He shook his head as Amon burst into another fit of laughter. 

“Instead of trying to roast me at 6 in the morning, you could help me up instead.” She shot him a glare from her place on the floor and stretched her arms out like a baby.

He walked over and grabbed both of her hands, helping her up and pulling her into him so that she was smothered by his larger frame. 

“I believe you have something of mine. I read about it in one of your books, and a quick VanNet search revealed that a certain mysterious Guardian found it." Amon looked up at him in confusion, wracking her brain for whatever the hell he could possibly have meant. 

“Guardian, perhaps he is talking about the sword? The one you tried to load into a scorch cannon and shoot into a radiolarian lagoon on Nessus?” Ghost piped up from the corner of the room. 

A look of realization washed over her face, quickly followed by a grimace as she remembered the state of the linen closet she discarded the weapon in. Uldren chuckled, releasing her, and she pushed past him out of the kitchen. She stepped across the plush carpet and into the foyer, stopping in front of a narrow closet door. 

Opening the door revealed a horrifying mess of dusty armor and weapons. At the back of the pile of riches, a sharp blade poked through a hole in an old blue cloak and glinted in the light. Amon reached down and fumbled around in the pile to try and find the handle. After a few moments of cursing and rustling through the junk, she produced the exotic blade.

The sword was about a meter long, black steel carved intricately with a swirling pattern with a lavender gemstone set in the center. The handle shone with a brilliant mirage of colors. Amon had forgotten what a beautiful weapon the [ Black Talon](https://www.ishtar-collective.net/entries/black-talon?highlight=talon) was, and regretted leaving it in her trash closet for so long. 

_ Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.  _ Turning to Uldren, she offered him the sword. 

“Here you go, my liege.” Her voice dripped with sarcasm. 

Uldren took the sword from her and tested it, pointing it straight out towards her. The sword was crafted to suit his stature and strength- the tip of the blade stayed perfectly centered as he moved around. He frowned to himself. 

“What’s the matter princess, doesn’t suit your tastes?” Amon judged him from afar. He shook his head, ignoring her snarky tone. 

“I’m afraid I don’t know how to use it. I can feel the weapon syncing with my void light and its familiar, but that’s about it.” Amon couldn’t help but feel sympathy for the poor fool. She nodded towards the sword. 

“May I?” Uldren passed it to her. “Ghost, get me a dummy in here.”

“But Guardian, remember what happened the last time you used a weapon in the house? It took me all night to repair the walls.”

“Yeah yeah, I’ll buy you a new shell if you do this for me.” Ghost twirled happily, and a simulated Goblin appeared in front of the doorway. 

Amon summoned her light, arc electricity crackling up and down the blade. She charged forward, blinking past the dummy and the front door to the other side of the wall. Her body froze and she stood in a trance, sword still thrust in front of her.

_ “No peeking!” She walked him forwards on her tippy toes, hands straining to cover his eyes. _

_ “I only want to peek so that we can walk without tripping over something!” _

_ “Nice try. I can’t risk it.” _

_ She pushed him into her workspace, taking his hand and leading him over to a chair in front of the wall. _

_ “Sit. Don’t open your eyes until I say so.” _

_ She left him and walked over to her workbench, picking up a beautifully crafted sword.  _

_ “This is certainly exciting.” He kept his eyes shut as he teased her.  _

_ “You’re such a pervert.” She rolled her eyes and positioned herself in front of him, proudly displaying her handiwork. “Okay, you can look.” _

_ He opened his eyes and sat up straight, reaching out to touch the blade.  _

_ “You made this?” His eyes were filled with awe as he examined the weapon. _

_ “Yes.” She pointed to the large stone set in the center of the sword. “I used the stone I gave you.”  _

_ “So that’s why I couldn’t find it.” _

_ “You didn’t seem very concerned about it.” _

_ “I didn’t want to upset you.” He looked into her silvery eyes. “It’s magnificent.”  _

_ “I’m glad you like it.” She tried to hide the smile tugging at her lips. _

_ “Almost as beautiful as you.” He stood to his full height in front of her. _

_ “Don’t be ridiculous.” She blushed wildly and he tilted her chin up to meet his gaze. _

_ “Thank you, my love.”  _

She opened the front door and casually waltzed back in, giving Uldren a pointed look. 

“Pretty cool huh? Wait until you see the next move.”

“What happened? Why did you stand in the hall for so long?” He gazed at her quizzically and Amon waved him off, ignoring the incident.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Just shut up and watch.” She aligned herself in front of the dummy once again. 

This time, she thrusted the sword forwards and swiped it down in an arcing motion, sending a purple crescent of energy flying out of the weapon and towards the dummy. It disintegrated the Goblin, as well as the front door.

“Oops.” She covered her mouth, giggling. Outside in the hallway someone screamed. Amon poked her head out of the crumbled doorway and waved at the unsuspecting bystander, a normal citizen walking down to the markets. “Sorry!”

She spun around to face Uldren, pleased with her demonstration, and handed him back the sword. He took it from her, amusement evident on his face. 

“You could have waited to show me out on patrol.”

“Right. Well what can I say, guess I’m just an eager beaver today.” She rubbed her thumbs together nervously. “Speaking of patrols, we better head over to the Courtyard soon so we can visit Amanda before we head out for the day.” 

They both collected their things, and were ready to head out five minutes later. Amon looked at the mess of the front of her door. 

“Hmm. Ghost, you’re gonna have to fix this later. Just put up a simulated wall for now, that way people won’t notice there's a gaping hole in my apartment and help themselves to my loot.” 

Ghost sighed as they walked out of the apartment, data fragments stretching up from the floor to the ceiling to create a mirage indistinguishable from reality. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------

An Exo guard nodded and waved the pair of hunters through, who then made their way through the corridors of Hanger 04. Amon lead Uldren down a series of metal staircases that opened up into the massive main room of Hanger 02 where Amanda's shop is. Turning to the left, she bounded up another set of stairs leading to the Future War Cult’s meeting room. 

The entryway is L-shaped with an opaque white floor-to-ceiling barrier blocking the entrance to the Cult's inner chambers. The barrier has guiding arrows pointing to the open meeting room, and the message "KEEP CLOSED" reads on the top and bottom of the door. The meeting room is fairly small and shaped like a quadrilateral made by slicing the top off of an upside down triangle, walls sloping outwards at an angle before connecting with the ceiling. A royal blue and orange pathway divides the room into two sections before coming to a triangular point in front of the far wall, illuminated by a glowing orange light that covers the white roof in static blue dots overlaid by a moving pattern of smaller orange dots. Long semi-translucent windows line the walls perpendicular to the entrance. 

Amon popped her head around a corner and looked at [ Lakshmi-2](https://www.destinypedia.com/Lakshmi-2) , who sat cross-legged in her usual spot, a black conical platform. Two thin blue data-screens floated around Lakshmi at shoulder level, and she spun them to the side when she saw Amon. The two spherical chairs on the right side of the room were occupied by cult members- an old man in a blue beanie and a much younger man with dark skin and curly chocolate brown hair- each too distracted by their own data-screens to pay the visitor any mind. 

"You think I'd let you into the Inner Circle if you stand there long enough? Hahahaha...I might." Lakshmi addresses Amon.

“Granny would you really?” She let out a dramatic gasp. Lakshmi returned a robotic laugh and wagged her finger at the guardian. 

"What if there were a better timeline somewhere? What have you done to earn it?" She scolded her, referring to Amon's distracted personality and needless intrusion.

The helmeted Uldren was standing awkwardly in the hallway, and stifled a laugh at the old woman’s critique. 

“Fine, fine, I’ll get back to work. See ya later Laks!” Amon turned on her heel and darted down the stairs towards Amanda’s workstation. Uldren watched the peculiar hunter go.

_ She’s got all the charm of a psychopath, but thankfully none of the glib.  _ He watched her bound up to a young woman with short blonde hair and a red bandanna around her neck. 

Amon hugged her from behind, startling the poor woman. Looking back, she waved Uldren over. 

_ I need to be careful.  _ He hears an elderly voice speak from behind him.

"What if you could learn to love your fate?" The old exo’s voice floated out of the room. 

Uldren glanced back at his reflection in the barrier with unease. He turned away and began walking towards the two women who were now chattering away happily. 

"Paradox is just a word that stupid people use to hide from the truth." Her words echoed in his mind as he walked down the stairs.

Amanda's workbenches were set up against the closed back side of a red metal awning, shielding them from the rest of the hanger to create a cozy work area. A crewman tapped away on a tablet to the right of Amanda and in front of two large display terminals sat in the corner of an L-shaped workbench, each showing a scrolling list of statistics on blue screens covered haphazardly with sticky notes. The long end of the bench contains a series of drawers and is littered by a mess of random hand tools. Between Amanda and a tall, red shelf-cabinet sat the central body of a white sparrow, suspended by a chain attached to a metal brace. Another bench extended to the right of it along the wall, covered in even more tools and parts with a red stool for someone to sit and tinker in. 

Approaching the two women, Uldren walked by a blue mat with two sparrows on it being constructed by a discouraged looking woman. He then passed by three crewmen in blue overalls who were listening to mechanic holding a tablet speak from behind the yellow railing of a raised platform. Behind the speaker on the platform, a massive ship was suspended from the ceiling and split into two parts. The lower part rested in a metal brace on the ground and a mechanic was busy soldering wires on its electrical panel.

Uldren stopped at a respectful distance to spectate the women’s behavior until they took notice of him. 

"How's that sparrow runnin'?" The blonde woman spoke informally to Amon. Amon’s blue eyes lit up. 

“Speaking of sparrows- Amanda, you’ve got to see the [ sparrow](https://www.ishtar-collective.net/items/silver-tercel?highlight=silver+tercel) I found in the Dreaming City last week. It’s so pretty I mistook it for one of your creations” Amon held out her palm to summon her ghost. “Ghost, show her!” 

Ghost blinked and a blurry image of a blue and gold sparrow appeared above him. Amanda raised an eyebrow, looking at the grainy image.

“Ok, I swear it looks better in person. Ghost, we need to take better pictures.”

“I’m sure its dazzling, Amon. I’m flattered by your assessment of my talents.” Amanda giggled, giving her an affectionate pat on the back. 

“You can show it to me when I finally start the Sparrow Racing League back up.” Amanda noticed Uldren standing there, her brown eyes suddenly wary of the masked stranger. Amon sensed her discomfort and quickly gestured to Uldren. 

“Amanda, this is- well you know who he is. But since he’s a uh, new version, I’ll reintroduce you. Amanda, meet Crow 2.0, loyal guardian of the Hunter Vanguard. Crow, meet Amanda Holliday, total badass and official Shipwright of the Tower.” She grinned at them both, pleased with her spontaneous choice of a fake name. 

Amanda rolled her eyes at her description, and hesitated a moment before extending a gloved hand to Uldren. 

“Hey Guardian. Need a ship?”

“A sparrow too.” Uldren shook her hand. 

Amanda gestured for him to follow her and walked past them towards the landing bay, the open area behind her workbench. Several ships were posed around the hangar in various states of disrepair over to the left of the room, and towards the back they could see several ships fly in to land. Uldren’s eyes were immediately drawn to one of the non-damaged ships and Amanda followed his gaze. 

“Ha, thought you’d like that one. That there is the [ Machinoform](https://www.ishtar-collective.net/items/the-machinoform?highlight=machinoform) .” She lead them over to the ship, giving it a slap on the hull. “This bad boy can get from here to Saturn in 30 minutes flat. That’s four-quadrillion one-hundred and forty trillion miles per hour(4,140,000,000,000,000mph). Compare that to Voyager-1, a pre-Golden age space probe that took 3 years and 2 months to cover the same distance. The darn thing had a top speed of 38,026.77 miles per hour. Propulsion technology has come so far since the age of information.” A starry look covers her eyes.

Uldren had lost the majority of his complex technical knowledge about ship mechanics and space physics, but recalled enough to be impressed by the specifications. He walked over to the ship, running a hand along the matte black metal.

“Not so fast. This baby’ll cost you a pretty penny since it’s one of my newer schematics. 800 silver, or 3,250 bright dust. Can’t sell it for glimmer just yet.”

“Deal.” Uldren smirked, pulling out Pulled Pork. He twirled his pink shell in amazement and darted over to scan the ship.

“Wow!” Pulled Pork scans the fuselage. “Great choice, Guardian. I can’t wait to fly in it!” 

“Excuse me, but just where the hell did you get 800 silver?” Amon gives Uldren a puzzled look. She didn’t even have that much silver at the moment, maybe 500 at most. She couldn’t remember. 

“I have my ways.” Uldren looked over at her, amused. Amanda watched their exchange in amusement. 

“What- did you rob a bunch of guardians in the middle of the night? Seduce Zavala while I was gone?” Amon narrowed her eyes at him.

“Of course not. Zavala and Ikora granted me an inheritance in exchange for a sizeable donation to the Vanguard’s weapon reserves. They gave me access to some old accounts from the Dreaming City, but didn;t say where from. Does every Awoken not receive the same?” An innocent look crossed his face.

“What the hell!” Amon stomped her foot in annoyance, crossing her arms in anger. “Let me get this straight: I kill you and get my revenge. You get to come back as a risen, and on top of that, you get all the wealth from your previous incarnation. How the fuck is that fair!” 

“What are you talking about? You mean when you killed me after I came to the Tower?”

Several mechanics stopped what they were doing to peer curiously at the frustrated hunters. Amanda had been watching their spat in amusement, and stepped in between the warring guardians.

“Settle down, you two. This is neither the time nor the place for this.” 

Amon sighed, ignoring the confused look on Uldren’s face, knowing that Amanda was right. She clenched her fists and took a deep breath to try and calm down. Amanda turned around and glared at the workers. 

“Get back to work you guys. Nothing to see here!” Amanda waved them off before looking back at the two hunters, a smile forming on her lips. “You two bicker like a married couple. Not that I’m surprised.”

“Shut up, we do not. That is disgusting.” Amon stared daggers at her, causing Amanda to laugh.

“You know I’m close with Petra, right?” Amanda shook her head, looking away from the angry awoken. “If only you knew.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She was fuming like an overheated engine.

“Well guardian, how about we make that deal?” Amanda ignored Amon and turned towards Uldren. 

At her behest, Pulled Pork wandered over to her. She pulled out a handheld tablet so he could wire her the silver. Once the transaction was complete, she turned back to the ship, Pulled Pork floating behind her. 

“All yours.” 

He grinned and commanded Pulled Pork to register the ship and prepare it for travel. Amanda and Uldren began to converse again, and she guided him back towards her workstation where the sparrows were. Amon decided not to follow them and plopped down on the floor to pout and entertain herself on VanNet.

_ > REMOTE VANGUARD DATABASE TEXT-ONLY SEARCH INITIALIZED. _

_ > WELCOME, USER "SNEAKYSQUID" _

_ > PLEASE ENTER SEARCH QUERY. _

_?> traveler googly eyes terminal background _

_ > PLEASE CONNECT TO A DEVICE WITH AN IMAGE DISPLAY TO VIEW THESE RESULTS. _

_?> zavala sucks _

_ > ALL RESULTS TAGGED WITH THE FOLLOWING RELATED SEARCH QUERIES REQUIRE TWO-THIRDS VANGUARD AUTHORIZATION FOR DISCLOSURE: _

_ > "ZAVALA SUCKS" "ZAVALA ACTION PICS" "TITANS ARE STUPID" "STUPID ZAVALA" "ZAVALA SEXY PICTURES" "VANGUARD SUCK MY ASS" _

_?> what?????????? _

_ > ALL RESULTS TAGGED W~XXX _

_ > logout _

_ > THANK YOU FOR USING THE VANGUARD TEXT-ONLY DATABASE, USER "SNEAKYSQUID". BE BRAVE. _

Amon turned off her portable terminal and gave it to Ghost to store away. She looked up as Amanda and Uldren approached her spot on the ground. They stopped in front of her and shook hands. 

“Take care of that [ Swiftsong](https://www.ishtar-collective.net/search/swiftsong) .” Amanda nodded at Uldren before turning to address them both. “Well, I’ve got schematics to get back to. Ya’ll have a good one and fly safe.” She saluted the guardians, and Amon jumped up to give her a quick shoulder hug.

“Thanks Amanda. See you around!”


	9. Amnestia-S2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lore entry added in the new season!!! Uldren reflects on his past and the consequences of regaining his memory.

[ One year earlier ](https://www.ishtar-collective.net/entries/amnestia-s2?highlight=amnestia-s2)

For the last three weeks, the Guardian has been camping in a rusted-out shipping container, far off the main pathways that are always buzzing with Sparrows. He stays out of the way of other Guardians, and if he can't do that, he keeps his helmet on. Always.

All he has to his name is some beat up gear, a ring, and a silk sheet. Those are the things he woke up with. He wears the ring on a chain and keeps the sheet as a comforting reminder of something he can't remember. Sometimes he wears it draped over his shoulder. The fabric is so fine that it makes him think about the place he must've come from before this life, and how much nicer it is than where he is now.

He spends his days alone. Other Guardians are an unpredictable source of pain and confusion, and they see him the same way. Some react to him with outright hostility. Others are overcome by some personal and unexplained grief. He doesn't know why. That was the most painful lesson of being reborn: It's better to be alone. So he's always alone now, except for his Ghost.

One night, he sits with his head against his knees and listens to the distant snaps of gunfire. He hasn't seen anyone in about a week, but he can hear them. Somehow that makes the loneliness worse. More potent.

"Did you know," his Ghost says, bright but gentle. The purple glint of his shell reflects the half-light outside the crate. "That in the Last City, they are celebrating? They call it the Dawning. It is a celebration of friendship and hope and warmth."

The Guardian keeps his eyes closed and forces down his bitterness. The silence lingers between them, heavy and filled with unsaid things, until his Ghost gently bumps his shoulder. "To feel good, they say to each other: Happy Dawning."

Still, the Guardian says nothing, and his own silence makes him sick with himself. His Ghost has never doubted him. Never doubted anyone, really. He is a well of relentless optimism. And as infuriating as that is, it's also heartbreaking, and comforting, and a relief. The Guardian is not going to be the one to disappoint him.

There's been too much disappointment in this life already.

"Happy Dawning," he says.

\------------------------------------------------------

Present day

.

.

Uldren sat on the balcony alone, a cool breeze rustling his cloak. His hood was pulled down over the black helmet covering his face, masking his identity. He toyed with the signet ring hanging from the chain around his neck, lost in thought. He hoped that reading more about his past and regaining his memory would take the edge off of his despair and confusion, of the pain he had felt every day from the moment he was risen. The disgust he felt with himself, whoever that was. But his growing knowledge of his past had brought nothing but clarity to his self-hatred, only giving him solid reasoning behind the emotions.

A brother, a Prince, a Crow, a traitor, a mass murderer of his own court. He thought of all those he had lost along the way. Funny how the important ones hovered at the edges of his memories- other than his sister, of course. 

_ Thousands of years of her abuse, of her corruption. Even in new life I cannot be free of her.  _

The people he could not remember, though- those were who he wished to find. He could make out the vague outlines of their forms if he closed his eyes long enough.

_ A tall man radiating melancholy, a Crow. A short woman, she glowed brilliantly.  _

The ring glinted in the moonlight and he thought of his Crows, a mysterious spy network that he used to command. Part of him wanted to activate the ring, to sink his hands into the mud of the past and dig the pieces of him out, to try and rebuild. The other part wanted to cast the ring down into the oceans of Titan and forget about it all. 

Pulled pork rested above the railing, quietly keeping him company. The little light had been his only source of hope in this life so far, believing in him when no one else seemed to even care. When others had shown him hatred, Pulled Pork expressed nothing but kindness.

Even the Guardian, Amon, had reacted with violence when they first met. He was inexplicably drawn to her. Unlike every other guardian, she treated him evenly and gave him- albeit not without a great deal convincing- a second chance, whether his helmet was on or off. After spending the first year of his life alone, her approval immediately became as addicting as her movements, her laugh, the smell of her hair. 

Uldren shook his head. Even if she enjoyed carnal desires, who doesn’t? Any man, woman, or Exo could satisfy that for her. He was not special in that regard. And yet he hoped anyways that if she wouldn’t accept him as a friend, she might at least accept him as an object of entertainment. Perhaps it was collateral damage from his sister’s manipulation- he could not help but bend a knee to strong women. Sighing, he looked up at the night sky and closed his eyes, listening to the sounds of the City below. 

Amon approached the balcony door and saw Uldren sitting outside, looking towards the sky. His helmet was on and his hooded cloak concealed his tall frame, giving him the appearance of a much smaller, more vulnerable person.

_ He hasn’t taken his helmet off outside of the apartment. Not since that first night when he arrived here.  _

Looking at his hunched over frame Amon actually began to feel sorry for him. 

_ It must have been so lonely, being discarded like trash by everyone he encountered out there.  _

Only the people who ‘needed-to-know’ in the tower knew his real identity. Zavala, Ikora, Hawthorne, Amanda, and Shaxx. Not even the Drifter knew who he was, and especially not Banshee-44. There’s a chance Banshee wouldn’t remember him at that point anyways, but it wasn’t entirely worth the risk.

For the first time the gravity of his situation was made clear in her mind. Yes, he had been an asshole who hurt a lot of people, but that was in the past. Amon thought back to when she had woken up, remembering nothing. She remembered more now, but only fragments of a distant past- not nearly enough to get an idea of her character. Just like her and every Guardian, he was a different person now. Right?

_ He also isn’t a legitimate asshole anymore _ . 

Even when he made fun of her, it was just harmless banter. In every patrol and strike they had done the past week, he had listened intently to her instructions and followed her every lead, seemingly eager to do so. They worked well together- almost peculiarly so. In every battle fought they had each others' backs, working seamlessly as a unit. She had no way of knowing for sure, but it seemed like he actually wanted her approval and trust.

Stepping through the open doorway, Amon approached him and tentatively placed a hand on his black cloak, trying not to startle him. He sat up straight and looked at her, gaze unreadable underneath the reflective black glass of his helmet.

“I’m going out. Gonna meet a friend at the bar. I can bring you back some spicy ramen. Unless you want to go with.”

“No, I’ll stay here. I’d like to be alone for a while.” Amon frowned, a pang of compassion burning in her chest. She gave his shoulder a squeeze. 

“Ok buddy. Just have Pulled Pork give Ghost a call if you need anything, k?” 

He nodded, and Pulled Pork perked up at the mention of his name. 

“Don’t worry miss, my guardian and I will hold down the fort! The city is safe with us!” 

“Thanks little guy. That makes me feel better.” She turned to leave. “Oh, uh...Happy Dawning.” 

Amon stepped through the door frame and disappeared, blue cape swishing around her ankles. 


	10. Two Truths and an Eli

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amon gets down with an almost-old-flame.

Amon walked into the dimly lit tavern. The air was thick with the scent of their signature cinnamon Whiskey and sounds of laughter as guardians conversed among themselves. Celebration was in the air as the Dawning approached, and the guardians took advantage of nights like these where they could catch reprieve from the looming threats on Mercury and the Moon. She scanned the room with her icy blue eyes, searching the crowd for a familiar face. Her eyes landed on a familiar redhead sitting in a booth in the far corner near the bar. Dez was snuggled up to a Titan wearing a familiar  [ Solstice Helm ](https://www.ishtar-collective.net/entries/solstice-helm-rekindled?highlight=titan+helm) . 

  
  


_ What is she doing with Vex Offender?  _ She remembered the guardian she had been teamed up with on several Vex Offensive runs. 

  
  


She giggled at the name as she walked over to the pair. Sliding into the smooth wooden booth, she plopped down comfortably in the corner and propped one leg up, casually slinging her arm on her knee.

  
  


“Hey there red.” 

  
  


“You finally made it!” Dez looks up from her tablet. “And just in time to meet my new friend.” She winked, referring to the masked titan whose arm was slung around her shoulders. The titan stiffened nervously. “Remember that handsome fellow you choked out in front of the Ramen shop? His name is Percy.” 

  
  


Amon sat up straight, looking back and forth between her and the titan as her cheeks grew hot with embarrassment. 

  
  


_ No fucking way.  _

  
  


The titan reluctantly removed his helmet to reveal the same white hair, amber eyes, and blue skin of the young awoken she had attacked several weeks before. He smoothed his tied back hair nervously and Amon bowed her head in shame. 

  
  


“About that. Don’t take it personally. I’m really sorry.”

  
  


“No hard feelings. Besides, you saved my ass when we fought the Unyding Mind.” He laughed quietly before waving her apology off. “You look like you could use a drink. And that’s not a proposition, by the way.”

  
  


“No worries. Yeah, I could use a drink. Or ten.” They all shared a laugh.

  
  


Percy slid out of the booth and headed over to the bar. Dez leaned forward, folding her hands and resting her chin on top of them so she could look Amon in the eyes. 

  
  


“So, how’s it going with your new roomie- Crow, you call him?” Before Amon could answer, she continued. “You know, I tried to drop by the other night. It sounded like someone was, ah, wrestling in the living room, so I left.” There was a knowing look in her eye.

  
  


“Ugh, Dez, seriously?” Amon’s face flushed again with embarrassment. 

  
  


“Hey, at least it was me that heard you guys and not someone else.”

  
  


“Yeah yeah, whatever. I’ll give you the details about ‘Crow’ later. Tonight I just want to have a good time.”

  
  


Dez sat back against the wooden half-wall, pleased with herself. She opened her mouth to say something else, but stopped when Percy approached the table. He slid a glass of cinnamon whiskey over to Dez, and set another down for himself, taking a seat. Amon was about to protest being left out when another figure approached in her peripheral and slammed a shot glass down in front of her. 

  
  
  


“Hey there hotshot.” The Drifter says helped himself to a seat right up next to her in the booth. “Haven’t seen you run Gambit in a while. What’s the matter? Finally got sick of ol’ Drifter’s company? Primevals too easy to kill?” 

  
  


“Sorry friend, I’ve just been busy. Cheers?” She held up the shot glass he had set down in front of her. 

  
  


“Cheers!” He tapped his glass to hers and they both downed the shots quickly. “Damn. I take it you swallow? Not even a chaser for this one.” Drifter’s face cracked into a devilish grin.

  
  


Amon rolled her eyes and elbowed him in the side, and he mockingly winced in pain. She slid her glass over to him. 

  
  


“Another round, pervert.”

  
  


The Drifter obeyed, returning with three shots for each of them.

  
  


“Last one to finish has to spank Big Blue.” She reached for the first glass and drank it.

Drifter laughed, downing all three shots before Amon could even reach for her third. She finished it and pouted. “God dammit.”

  
  


“Shoulda known better than to bet against me.”

  
  


Amon reluctantly agreed as Dez and Percy burst into laughter. The four guardians began conversing jovially with each other, interspersing their workplace complaints with light shit-talk about Commander Zavala. Amon gradually inched closer to the Drifter as the alcohol metabolized in her system. 

  
  


It took her a few moments to notice his hand on her thigh. She tensed, and the Drifter slid his hand further up her leg. Amon glanced over at his nonchalant grin out of the corner of her eye. She scooted forward into the seat, causing his hand to move even further up. Drifter leaned over to whisper in her ear.

  
  


“Say, I’ve got some books I keep meaning to show ya. They’re in my shed on the derelict, if you’re interested.” 

  
  


Amon shuddered feeling the rumble of his voice in her ear and hot breath on her neck, suddenly overcome with the desire to be physically close with someone. Coincidentally, Drifter happened to be the most readily available candidate. She looked up at Dez, gently kicking her with her foot under the table to get her attention. Dez looked up, tilting her head. Amon winked at her before turning to Percy. 

  
  


“Well Percy, it was nice to formally meet you. Sorry again for the other week. Feel free to hit me up whenever you need a hunter.” She looked over at Dez. “Drifter and I have some business to take care of, so we’ll be taking our leave.” 

  
  
  


“Right. You two have fun! But not too much.” Dez and Percy shared a glance. 

  
  


Amon laughed, nudging Drifter to slide out of the booth so they could leave, and the two raced off into the night. 

  
  
  


Amon and the Drifter stumbled through the Derelict halls and into a snowy clearing where his small shack was. Drifter pushed a cluttered table against the wall, clearing a space for them on the floor. He turned around and grabbed Amon by the small of her back, pulling her body into his and kissing her hungrily. He had waited so long to have her like this, and it was going to be hard to hold back. 

  
  


“Say hotshot, I like this new side of you. Who’s the lucky fellow I need to thank for bringing it out?” He held her head up by the back of her cloak.

  
  


Amon raised her arm to transmat her armor away and the Drifter caught her hand to stop her. “Cloak stays on. You haven’t got enough hair for me to pull, and I need to grab something.”

  
  


Amon grinned, removing everything except for her cloak. She reached down and started fumbling with his belt buckle.

  
  


“Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, slow down there.” He put his hands up and stepped back, causing her to pout impatiently. “Ladies first.” 

  
  


He snaked his arms between her thighs and scooped her up to set her down on a small cot suspended about halfway up the wall. She leaned back and spread her legs open for him, completely drunk and unbearably horny. Drifter whistled, taking in the view.

  
  


“Awoken on the field.” He dipped his head between her legs. 

  
  


“Bring a sword.”

  
  


He laughed and hot air blew onto her wetness causing her to shudder. He leaned in, tongue lapping slowly between her folds. She gasped in surprise at how good it felt, tangling her hand in his hair. He stopped at the top of her slit, closing his mouth around her clit and sucking hard while flicking his tongue across it.

“Fuck, Eli.”

  
  


He went all in, shoving his head down and eating her out like she was his first meal in weeks. Amon moaned loudly as he alternated between sucking on her clit and licking up and down her labia. He reached a hand up to fondle her exposed breast, and she yanked his hair trying to pull his head even closer. 

  
  


“Fuck, you taste so good.” 

  
  


His words sent her over the edge. She gasped, squeezing his head between her thighs as her orgasm rocked through her. Breathless in the wake of the pleasure, he stood up and kissed her, letting her explore his mouth to taste herself.

  
  


_ I can’t believe I’m doing this.  _

  
  


Pushing him off, she ran her hand along the Drifter’s armor. 

“You’re still dressed.” 

The Drifter transmatted his gear away, leaving on his undershorts. Amon noticed the outline of his bulge underneath the thin fabric, and an idea crossed her mind. She hopped off the table to stand in front of him. 

“What’s all this?” He groaned when she suddenly gripped him through his underwear.

  
  


She used her free hand to bring a finger to his lips to shush him. She slowly moved down onto her knees while gently stroking him through his pants.

  
  


_ Hes rock hard.  _ Exacerbated by her drunken state, she was incredibly turned on by the fact that he was turned on by her. 

  
  


She settled onto her knees and hooked her fingers under the hem of his briefs and began slowly dragging them down, looking him in the eye the whole time. His cock sprang free and slapped against his stomach, narrowly missing her face and startling her. She wrapped her hand around his length and then hesitated, remembering that she had never done this before. Drifter noticed her hesitation and placed his hand over hers, guiding it up and down his member. 

  
  


“C’mon killer, just pretend you’re racking a shotgun.”

  
  


She listened, jerking him up and down slowly. Eventually she leaned forward and took his tip into her mouth, sucking off the precum. Drifter let out a moan as he watched her take him into her mouth. He was going to have to stop her soon or he wouldn’t last. She tentatively swirled her tongue around his tip, moving her hand down towards the base of his pelvis and bobbing her head in sync. She started to pull back again, and brought her other hand up to lightly cup his balls. She gave them a squeeze, causing him to jump.

  
  


“Easy tiger.”

  
  


“I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’m doing.” She removed her mouth and looked away. 

  
  


“You’re doin’ fine, hotshot. Wouldn’t last long with you down there anyways. I’m the shoutcaster- let me handle things for now.” Drifter ran a hand through her hair, trying to reassure her. 

  
  


Amon bowed in resignation and he pulled her up by her shoulders to softly kiss her. After a few seconds he moved down to her neck and grazed his teeth along her collarbone.

“Your wish is my command.” He bit down on the soft skin and sucked on it, leaving a mark. 

Amon moaned from the strange mix of pain and pleasure. Drifter brought his head back up, looking at her questioningly.

  
  


“Oh? You liked that, did ya?”

  
  


Amon nodded and leaned in to kiss him, poking at his teeth with her tongue. He granted her access, rolling his tongue with hers. Their mouths moved in sync, hands running up and down each others bodies. He bit her bottom lip and pulled it in his teeth, giving her ass a firm squeeze at the same time. He let go and claimed her mouth again, the metallic taste of blood mixing in with their saliva.

  
  


He grabbed her thigh roughly and hiked her leg up around his hip, grinding forward into her. She groaned in pleasure, bringing her other leg up. Drifter caught her in both arms, giving her ass a slap as she settled into his embrace. He walked her backwards onto the cot and pulled away for a moment. Amon started to complain, but stopped when she noticed him reaching for a strip of soft black material laid out on the messy tabletop. 

  
  


“Is that one of your headbands?” 

  
  


He smirked, stretching it out between his hands. Stepping back to her, he grabbed one of her wrists and moved it behind her back. He did the same with the other, and before she could protest he tied them together with the strip of fabric. 

  
  


“That’s not the only thing it’s good for.”

  
  


She attempted to give him an innocent look, nerves between her legs tingling with excitement. He pulled a small knife off of a wall rack and gently dragged the blade down the side of her cheek. She bit her lip and stared at him, daring him to cut her. He grinned and threw the blade to the side with enough force that it stuck into the wall, pleased with her responses to his actions.

Running a finger up and down her slit, he whistled again at the wetness gushing out of her. He lined himself up at her entrance, just barely pushing in before immediately pulling back out, teasing her. She almost came right then from the sensation and let out a whimper. Leaning forward to kiss her, he whispered against her lips.

“Tell me what you want, hotshot.” 

  
  


“Fuck me.”

  
  


“What was that, princess?” 

  
  


Something tugged at the back of her mind, triggered by his use of the word. She ignored it. 

  
  


“Fuck me, Eli.”

  
  


He slammed into her and she cried out in a mixture of pleasure and pain. If not for the alcohol to take the edge off, he might have been too big for her to handle. Drifter started thrusting into Amon relentlessly, pounding himself deep inside her pussy. She cried out with each thrust, overcome with ecstasy. 

  
  


After less than a minute she felt her walls clenching as an orgasm ripped through her. The Drifter grabbed the base of her cloak and yanked her head to the side, continuing to pound into her while licking along her jawline. For a split second Amon was in actual pain from the pressure on her overly-sensitive clit, but it was quickly replaced with pleasure once again. He started spanking and grabbing her ass with his other hand, moans of pleasure spilling from both of their mouths. 

  
  


Suddenly he shifted her weight up and carries her over to the wall, cock still buried deep inside. He pressed her back against it and she pushed her hips down on him. Unable to support herself with her tied wrists, Drifter used one hand to hold her up against the wooden paneling, the other moving down to rub circles into her clit as he continued to thrust into her. Amon cried out, another orgasm approaching from deeper inside her core as he hit against her g-spot. She came hard once again, but the Drifter wasn’t finished with her yet. 

  
  


Swiftly untying her hands, he set her down on the ground. 

  
  


“Chest down, ass up.”

  
  


Lining up behind her, Amon rested on her forearms and wiggled her ass up at him. He brushed her cloak to the side. 

  
  


Now that's a good view.” 

  
  


He spread her lips before pushing back inside of her. Leaning over her, he pressed his hand around the back of her neck to lightly choke her as he resumed his relentless pace. Amon was absolutely loving it- his strong hand around her throat as he filled her up from behind.

  
  


Drifter started panting as he approached his own climax, slamming into her even more furiously and pressing down just a little harder onto her neck.

  
  


“Fuck.” He pulled out of her and rested his twitching cock on her ass, shuddering and shooting his load all over her back.

  
  


Amon flipped onto her back, too exhausted to care about making a mess. She smiled up at him. 

  
  


“That’s the best round of Gambit I’ve ever played.”

  
He collapsed next to her and they laid there for several minutes trying to catch their breath. Amon rolled over to sit on her knees and inspect her cloak for semen. 

  
  


“Dammit, I’d better get home and clean this shit off.”

  
  


“Sure thing hotshot. Thanks for the ride. Say, isn’t there a joke I’m missing here? Something about a dress?” 

  
  


He put a hand under his head, thinking. Amon shrugged, having no idea what he was talking about. Drifter had passed out a few seconds later, snoring loudly. 

“Drunk old fool.” She collected herself and redressed before heading out to return to the apartment. 


	11. A Very Nice Young Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An encounter from the perspective of wise grandmother Eva Levante.

One of my favorite spots in the Tower is a secluded little bench that overlooks the City. I watch the ships coming in, and the birds, and the clouds--I get so busy that it helps to step away for a little while and remind myself of what’s outside. Earlier tonight, I was sitting on this bench when a tall, quiet Hunter stepped up beside me, his hands folded behind his cloak. 

“Excuse me ma’am,” he said. “Would you mind if I sit here?” 

I smiled and shifted over to make room, a vague sense of deja vu coming over me. A pleasant memory. “Please,” I said. He sat. His knees sat slightly above hip height due to his stature, and he casually rested his hands on them, leaning back into the bench. I had a bag of birdseed with me, and he watched as I spread a little onto the ground around me. The pigeons came quickly- watched over by a trio of crows setting silently on the edge of a rooftop. They seem to have followed the hunter here. The cooing of pigeons and the far-off bustle of the City as it prepared for the Dawning was soothing, and sensing unease from the gentleman I shifted to peer at the reflective black steel of his mask. Sorrow rolled off of him in gentle waves that lapped at my light. He was lonely.

“Young man,” I said, addressing him. “I don’t mean to pry, but feel compelled nonetheless- why aren’t you out celebrating with the other Guardians?” I ask. He claws at his knee with one hand, looking down at the ground. 

“I am a new risen. I don't even know what the Dawning is, or if I would be welcome” he says sadly. I smiled. 

“The Dawning is for everyone,” I said. “Everyone in the City and beyond it, if they would like to celebrate.” 

He was quiet for a moment, considering. I could not tell whether he was shy, sad, or just one of those solitary people who prefer silence. I let him be, either way. They all talk in their own time. He watches the birds, still pecking hungrily at the seeds scattered over the pavement. 

“When I woke up-” he starts, still watching the birds. “The other Guardians...they recoiled in my presence. Some were outright hostile, others disgusted. Overcome with an old grief I couldn’t understand.” he said. I watch his mask intently, listening. “I discovered that it was better off to be alone. And my mask stays on, always.” He sits in silence for several moments before continuing. “There is one other than my ghost who I can show my face. They reacted worse than any guardian before. They tolerate me, but at times I still see it when I remove my helm. That grief. I don’t wish to be alone again, but I feel like I should be. For their sake.” He looks down again and apologizes to me for rambling. I hold up my hand to stop him. My voice does not waver.

“Let me get a look at you,” I say. He hesitates for a few minutes. I have made a bold request. Eventually, he reaches up and presses his thumbs into the seam around his neck. The helmet comes off. I look at him, and my heart fills with warmth. I look him in the eyes and gingerly take his hand in mine, giving it a squeeze. 

I know very much about this young man, and met him once, many years ago. Those were different times. He was not then what he became, nor is he now. I told him this. He seemed shocked at my reaction. I watched his defensive posture relax, and he looked up at the sky. 

“Living through times of peril can affect us in many different ways. Sometimes those experiences change us for the better, and sometimes they don’t. You’ve made a way of life in solitude that suits your recollection of the past, and are trying to reconcile that with the life you see being lived here presently, In the Tower and the City. That takes courage. I admire it.” she says, squeezing the young man’s hand. They sit together in companionable silence and feed the birds a few more times. The three crows were long gone. Eventually he puts his helmet back on and stands up. 

“Thank you,” he says, an empty space for a name hanging in the air. 

“My name is Eva” I say, smiling. 

“Crow.” he replies. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Eva.” He walked away, hugging his cloak tightly. 

Yes, I have heard the tales of all that Uldren Sov accomplished in the Reef. Of his betrayal of his own people, his madness. Many legends of heroes and villains alike make them seem like mythical creatures, so far removed from anything the people of the City would ever see or experience. This person who had the face and history of Uldren Sov does not seem that way to me at all.

In fact, I think he is a very nice young man. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

Uldren returned to the dimly lit apartment just in time to hear loud retching coming from behind Amon’s bedroom door. He quickly walked over to the door and eased it open. Amon was sprawled out on the floor, still in her armor, as her ghost frantically lowered down a floating trash can to continue fussing over the guardian. 

  
  


“Ghost, can’t you just heal me!” Her words slurred.

  
  


“I’m not going to taint our light fixing this travesty. You’ve already defiled a brand new cloak- your actions still have consequences, Guardian!” Ghost’s eye glowed bright red. Angry. 

  
  


Amon groaned, tossing away the clothing in question. Ghost quickly transmatted it away to be cleaned, floating out of the room and muttering something about the Drifter and being warned next time. Uldren chuckled softly as he watched the scene unfold. The indisposed hunter finally noticed his presence. 

  
  


“Hey handsome, mind helping a damsel in distress?” She batted her eyelashes at him. 

  
  


He steps over and easily scooped her up off of the floor. She wrapped her arms around his neck and caressed the side of his helmet.

  
  


“Prince charming.” She started giggling and almost flopped out of his arms.

Uldren stared at her through his helmet.

  
  


_ She’s just drunk. Why else would she say that? _

  
  


“Oh, take this thing off you masked devil!” Amon began feeling around his neck.

  
  


Uldren deposited her on the bed without an ounce of grace, and turned away to scan the room for a change of clothes. He spotted a large hoodie crumpled up on the floor and picked it up, tossing it on the bed next to her. She raised her arms up and looked at him with puppy dog eyes.

  
  


_ She’s behaving like a reckless child. Damn her, its cute as hell.  _

  
  


He walked over and started to unbuckle her armor so he could actually pull it up and over her head.

“I’m not in the mood for round two.” She tried to wiggle out of his grasp.

  
  


“Shut up, I’m not trying to fuck you right now.”

  
  


She was wearing a thin cotton tank top that exposed most of her chest, and his eyes were immediately drawn to the large purple hickey on her collarbone. He felt a pang of jealousy in his stomach. Amon giggled, looking up at him.

  
  


“Whatsa matter Crow, jealous?”

  
  


“Get some sleep.” Uldren remained stoic behind his helmet, swallowing his anger. “Goodnight.” 

  
  


He left, not even bothering to close the door. Once he reached the solitude of his bedroom, he finally removed his armor and crawled into bed. He stared up at the dark ceiling for hours, thoughts racing, before finally falling asleep. 

  
  


_ Uldren stood next to the throne conversing with his sister when one of his Crows flew in through an open window. He held out his arm and it settled down, flapping its mechanical wings softly. There was something in its mouth.  _

  
  


_ “What have you brought me?” _

  
  


_ The bird opened its beak, dropping a torn blue cloth into his hand. It was dark blue with ribbons of silver scattered throughout, making it shimmer in the sunlight. He had only known one awoken that wore such a material. Someone long forgotten. _

  
  


_ “Where did you find this.” _

  
  


_ The bird blinked and telepathically shared an image with him. He watched it fly over the barely visible remains of a village in Old Russia, a place from before the reign of the Iron Lords. The creature swooped down and landed on the half-buried remains of someone who had died there. A piece of fabric stuck out just above the snow, still attached to the person’s wrist.  _

  
  


_ “Was it her, brother?” _

  
  


_ “Yes.”  _

  
  


_ Uldren gripped the fabric in his hand tightly, nails digging into his palm. Mara could sense him struggling to keep his emotions in check.  _

  
  


_ “Save your grief, Uldren. She made her choice. She betrayed me.” _

  
  


_ He turned and looked his sister in the eyes, fighting the urge to lash out at her for questioning his loyalty. Closing his eyes, he gave the material back to the Crow and dismissed it with instructions to destroy the object.  _

  
  


_ “I haven’t thought of her in over a hundred years, sister. She is not even a distant memory; merely a past mistake.”  _

_ Mara did not respond and instead checked her fingernails, a bored expression on her face.  _

  
  


_ “As I was saying. I’ve received a warning from the Guardians, Eris Morn and Osiris. I believe the matter is of great importance…”  _

  
  
  



	12. Trøllabundin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Osiris returns with an urgent request. Amon and Uldren have a thoughtful conversation. Then they get drunk.

A few days later, Amon was startled awake by the sound of a priority alert coming from her comms tablet. Rolling over and throwing her duvet off, she grabbed the tablet and saw an incoming correspondence request from Ikora. 

>>TRANSCRIPT CLASSIFICATION: (U)cor

>UNIT OF RECORD: brayTab[unsecured] v1.122.0067

>PARTIES: Rey, Ikora(W)[VC]; Idril, Amon Din(H)[SU]

_ //_Establishing secure connection… _

_. _

_. _

_ //_done. _

**_ >[VC] ** Guardian, this is Ikora. I’ve received a transmission from Mercury. From Osiris.

**[SU]** Holy shit what?

**_ >[VC] ** He has requested an audience with you. I need you to go speak to him and report back. 

**_ >[VC] ** I have a bad feeling about this. Prepare for several weeks away from the tower.

**[SU]** Roger that. I’ll head out ASAP.

**_ >[VC]** Be brave.

_ //_END. _

.

.

_ //_(null)connection. STOP. _

_ >>_ _

She set down the tablet, jumping to her feet. “Ghost.”

“I’ve already contacted the landing bay. Ready for departure in 5.” Ghost told her. She moved around the room, stuffing extra clothing into a small duffel bag. 

“Shit.” Amon ran upstairs to wake up Uldren. She collided with him at the top of the stairs, yelping in surprise. 

“Ikora pinged me too.” His armor was already in place, helmet secured, with Supremacy strapped to his back. 

“You aren’t bringing anything else?” 

“Everything I need is already with me.” 

She nodded in understanding and descended the staircase. He carried her duffel bag to the ship, two steps behind as she rushed to the ship hangar. He could sense her fear and excitement. He felt it too. In the hangar, he handed off her duffel bag and they climbed into their respective ships. They took off in unison, course set for Mercury. 

The two ships approached the Sundial Spire where Osiris waited, racing over the dusty orange surface of the small planet. The sun was blinding and hot. They were transmatted onto a large round metal platform. The surface is covered in small sand dunes and half buried structures. Gnarled trees frame the pathway leading to the central spire where the Sundial is. Two halves of a hulking cylindrical concrete wall surrounding the prototype cast shadows out onto the rocky surface. A large set of glowing concentric circles are visible in the upper atmosphere above the spire.

Amon and Uldren raced up the metal ramps leading to the Sundial platform. They ascended a short set of stairs and passed through a looming triangular gate made of particulate datamatter.

The Sundial is a hulking mass of metal mechanical parts. Three large wings extend out from a rotating central peg, seemingly creating the bubble of datamatter surrounding the entire contraption. 

In front of it, an older warlock stood patiently, gloved arms folded across his chest. Osiris. The bottom half of his face is concealed by a red scarf, a strange cross between and Ibis and an Atef crown covers his head. Long feathers poke out of the pauldrons of his robed armor, giving him the aesthetic of an ancient and powerful deity. His gloves are outfitted with a curious set of electrical wires and buttons. Osiris regards the two guardians with dark eyes. 

“You’ve been busy, guardian.” He said, addressing Amon. She bowed in respect. 

“Osiris, it is an honor that we cross paths again.” He uncrossed his arms and let out a deep sigh. 

“I regret it only because of the circumstances,” he began. “When you slew the undying mind, you changed the course of history. The Red Legion scoured space time and came upon my failed experiment. It is a means to travel through time.” 

He swept a hand forward, gesturing to the large machine behind him. “Now time is broken on Mercury, fractured by the legion. They intend to write a new history, a new ending to the red war.” 

“But they can’t. That would mean…” Amon trailed off. “We must stop them. Show me how.”

“If you’re willing to help, you’ll need to walk the corridors of time. And you’ll need my sundial to do it.” Osiris looked past her with pain in his eyes. “I built it so that an ally of mine could cheat death. I failed to help him, and his death remains my greatest regret.” 

“Saint-14.” She felt sad for the man. Osiris nodded. 

“I never witnessed his end against the Vex in the infinite forest. I’ve searched every iteration of his path, encountering his past forms, many just arriving to Mercury for the first time. But none of them are the right Saint.” He folded his arms across his chest once again. 

“I can find him. I will find him, Osiris. We can fix this.” Amon spoke with steely resolve and confidence Uldren had never witnessed her exude before. 

“You’re attempting an impossible task, Guardian,” Osiris told her. “But if you insist on walking the same excruciating path that I did…” He shook his head, and chuckled ruefully. “I won’t deny you the chance. When the Red Legion hijacked my Sundial, they shattered its components. You must repair them if you’re to use it again.” 

“Of course.” Determination hardened her features. “Just tell me what to do.”

“The Vex use their Transformers to generate barriers, manipulate matter, and power their chronometric tech. The Sundial leverages the latter technology.” He turned to an opulent terminal with a glowing core.

“You’ll need to seek out Vex Transformers on Io, Nessus, and Mercury, and destroy them to collect the resulting scrap. It’s the only way to repair the Sundial.” Osiris laces his fingers behind his back. “I’ve sent map coordinates to your ghost.”

“Thank you, Osiris. I will return as soon as I can with the material.” Amon’s words are filled with promise. He stood up straight, looking each hunter in the eye. 

“Good luck.” 

\-------------------------------------------------------

The two guardians set up camp underneath a gnarled dead oak tree, ships tucked away between several large sand dunes. The sun took up nearly a quarter of the sky as it fell, setting the landscape ablaze with its brilliant golden light. Uldren carried a bundle of tinder gathered directly off the dead tree over to the small pit they had dug and lined with stones. He threw them down in the center and Amon summoned a small flame of solar energy on her fingertips, using it to set the gathered wood ablaze. Satisfied with the small fire, Amon settled down onto a canvas blanket she had laid out on the ground, hugging her knees to her chest and watching the sunset. Uldren perched on a small flat rock across the fire pit from her and toyed idly with his ring necklace. 

Amon studied his profile from her vantage point. The sun reflected perfectly in his irises, turning them into two pools of molten lava. His clear blue skin shone brilliantly as the light stretched out furiously, as if grasping for a handhold so as not to be pulled under the horizon. She trailed her gaze down the slope of his Grecian nose, across his pursed lips and down to his strong pointed chin and sharp jawline. Her arm twitched with want to brush away the long hair concealing the rest of his face and neck. She could scarcely believe that such a beautifully crafted face had been the cause of so much pain. 

Closing her eyes, she began singing softly to herself. She sang an old lullaby from a time she did not remember. A song learnt through dreams and in the space between countless deaths and resurrections. 

_ Trøllabundin eri eg eri eg _

_ Galdramaður festi meg festi meg _

Uldren shifted his body towards her, listening intently as he followed the soft movements of her lips. 

_ Trøllabundin djúpt í míni sál í míni sál _

_ Í hjartanum logar brennandi bál brennandi bál _

She paused, letting the breeze carry her words away towards the unknown. 

“What does it mean?” He leaned forward to peer at her over the flames.

She parted her lips and sang once more, this time in the common tongue. 

_ Spellbound I am, I am _

_ The wizard has enchanted me, enchanted me _

_ Spellbound deep in my soul, in my soul _

_ In my heart burns a sizzling fire, a sizzling fire _

She watched the sun ease past the horizon with a cosmic sigh as its last rays clambered for purchase. 

“Where did you learn it?” He watched the light from the fire cast strange shadows on her face. She looked haunted.

“I heard it first in a dream,” she told him. “Sometimes when I linger too long between resurrections, I hear it again. My mother sings it to me.” 

“You remember your mother?”

“No.” Orange flickers on the surface of her blue eyes. “But I can feel that it is her.” 

Uldren nodded in understanding. He had never seen the guardian like this. Quiet, thoughtful, vulnerable. He did not dislike this side of her. Shivering from the cold, he suddenly wished he were wrapped up in his silk sheet. 

“Come, sit closer.” Amon scooted over and patted the space beside her on the cloth. Accepting her offer, he walked over to her side of the camp and settled down comfortably next to her, sitting Indian style and warming his hands near the fire. 

“You know you can always use your light to keep warm.” Amusement danced in her eyes, in sync with the heat licking at the atmosphere. 

“I am still not used to it. To the light.” He replied, lowering his hands into his lap. “It feels...foreign. Like a mistake. Like it was meant for someone else.” Amon regards his words thoughtfully. 

“The traveler chose you.” She tilts her head slightly. “It chose me too. I do not have the burden of my past to carry, but-” she pauses before continuing- “I think it would be best if you stop judging yourself by your past. Begin anew.” 

“That’s rich coming from you.” There is no real resentment behind his words. 

“I am trying. I have granted you understanding, and you must grant me the same. I used to know you, you know. You talk like yourself...but I hear someone else now. It’s difficult to interpret sometimes.” She settled back onto her hands and stretched out her feet. 

“It’s odd.” Inquisitive, he studies her face. “You are all at once terrifying yet unassuming, carefree but burdened, outgoing and reserved. Even in the last 24 hours, you’ve been both a petulant child and a thoughtful confidant.” She nodded in agreement. 

“My name, ‘Amon din Idril’. It means ‘silent hill’ in an old language of fantasy. It’s an ancient fable about a place that sits beneath two layers of reality. Those who venture there experience both realities. They can leave at any time, but become trapped in the second and unable to hear or interact with their reality, unless they learn whatever lesson they were brought to learn in the first place.” She relays the information to him while her mind envisions something only she can see.

“Sometimes I wonder if, when I dream...or die, I go back to the first reality. And when I wake up, I am trapped in the second. Over and over again. I live in pursuit of versatility, adapting in any way I can. Just in case I miss my lesson.” 

They sat in poignant silence until the last of the light faded and nothing remained but the glow of hot ash and charred fragments of wood. Amon abruptly stood up, startling Uldren. 

“Enough thinking for today. Too much. Too much emotion. Gross.” She wipes her hands on her pants as if trying to rid them of filth. Turning towards her ship, she waved at him to come with her. “Time to get wasted.”

\----------------------------------------------------

Aboard the spacious ship, the two hunters sat at a square table opposite of one another. On each end there was an eclectic set of 6 cups arranged in a pyramid formation. Inside each cup there was an ounce of clear potato vodka. Amon tossed a ping pong ball from one hand to the other. 

“Beer pong.” She states it like a fact. Uldren raised a questioning eyebrow at her. “It’s a drinking game we play at the Tower. You toss a ping pong ball into the cups in front of the person across from you. If the ball lands in a cup, the other person removes it and has to drink its contents. First person to clear all their opponents cups wins.” She catches the ball in one hand and holds it tightly. “Oh, and you have to stand behind the table. Your arm can’t cross over the edge when you throw the ball” she adds. Uldren looked down at the cups, specifically at the alcohol contained within them, uncertainty gracing his features. 

“Are...are you sure about this? I can handle all this, but you’re pretty small.” He is referring to her tolerance, or lack thereof. She brushed him off and grabbed the handle of vodka, twisting the top off. She brought it up to her lips and took a swig, swallowing loudly. Uldren watched her throat muscles ripple with the action. She slammed it down with a spiteful ‘A-ah’ and flashed him a grin.

“Don’t lie. You’re just scared you’re going to lose.” She attempted to taunt him, eliciting a smirk. 

She’d changed into an oversized blue t-shirt with a picture of an Eliksni shooting hoops on it. ‘Ballin with the Fallen’ it read. The shirt hung just past the tops of her thighs, and she wore pink knee-high socks to keep her feet warm. Her usually neatly kempt hair was wild on the top and sprung out messily in different directions, oddly feminizing her usually androgynous demeanor. 

_ She looks ridiculous.  _ His eyes flitted down to her exposed thigh and back up at her face.  _ Ridiculously hot.  _

“Ready?” She was already posed to throw the ball. 

“Go for it.” She flicked her wrist sending the ball flying across the table, over the cups, and then past the cups onto the metal floor. Uldren managed to grab it gracefully after its first bounce. 

_ Who the fuck chases a ping pong ball with swagger?  _ She pouts, thinking about her unimpressive throw.

Uldren squared up at his end of the table, knitting his brows in concentration. He softly launched the ball forward, only slightly moving his wrist. It bounced off the edge of three different cups before landing in a fourth. 

“What the fuck!” she exclaimed angrily. Uldren laughed at her reaction. She turned her nose up at him and tried to act unfazed. 

“Ok, ok, that’s fine. I wanted to drink anyway.” Amon made quick work downing all four of the shots and stacking the cups before throwing them to the floor. Ghost appeared behind her and huffed in annoyance. 

“Here we go again.” He floated away into the cockpit. “You’re on your own guardian!” 

Amon rolled her eyes and rearranged the remaining two cups side by side. Cradling the ball in her fingertips, she lined up for another shot. The ball sails towards Uldren who casually side-steps the projectile, reaching up and catching it in his hand. Amon stomped her foot. 

“I just need more time to warm up that's all!’ The words tumbled out of her mouth. 

_ By the Traveler.  _ Uldren watches her temper tantrum with delight. S _ he’s already almost drunk.  _

He chuckled and lined up his second shot. It bounced perfectly off of the cup to the right and landed in the remaining one to the left. 

“Fuck this. Fuck you” Amon angrily downs both shots. Uldren deftly consolidated the alcohol on his end of the table. He drank all six at once, and then poured himself another half glass of vodka, gulping it down too. 

“I mean, if you want to.” He looked directly into her eyes. She threw a plastic cup at him. 

“Pervert!” Her nose scrunched up in disgust. Uldren laughs heartily, a hand on his stomach.

“It was just a suggestion.”

She glared at him, and he took the opportunity to take another swig of alcohol. He wouldn’t admit it, but he was still jealous of whoever it was that defiled her a few nights ago. “After all, you’re the one who invited me into  _ your  _ ship.”

“Please.” She turned bright red at the accusation, looking away from him. “If I were that desperate I would have just asked outright.”

“Are you?”

“Am I what?” She eyed him warily as she walked over and grabs the bottle of vodka, taking another swig. 

“Desperate.”

She looked him in the eye seductively and closed her lips around the mouth of the bottle, tipping her head back and slowing drinking the bitter fluid. His eyes trailed down to her throat once more, just in time for her to unsexily choke on the alcohol. 

“Fuck,” she spat, “too much, too much! It burns!” She clutched at her throat, grimacing. 

Uldren is absolutely enamored. He stepped forward and took the bottle out of her hands, setting it down on the table. 

He brought his hand up to her face and swiped away the tears formed during her attempt at seduction, gripping the side of her face and pushing her back into the wall with each step. Amon stared up at his fiery eyes without fight back. His eyes wandered down her jawline and neck, coming to rest on her collarbone- now clear of the mark from several nights before. She grinned at him, a teasing look in her eyes. 

“See something you like?”


	13. After The Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut. Then a dream. Or is it a memory?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm changing the tense of the story. Sorry!! I'll go back and alter the other chapters soon.

Uldren leaned forward and found her mouth, already waiting for him like a question. She didn’t try to stop him. She kissed him back. Amon felt trapped between his body and the wall- small, shivering, helpless- she loved it. Their mouths crushed together, scrambling for purchase, frantic breaths breaking like waves against a cliff. She swiped her tongue along his bottom lip and he eagerly let her in, tongues meshing together, the drunken numbness of their lips ironically only increasing the intensity of the kiss. 

Their salacious kiss tasted like a mixture of vodka and anticipation. Uldren kissed her with lust, greed, jealousy. Amon met him with equal parts curiosity, attraction, and desire. 

He pulled his face away from hers and they both stood gasping for breath, pressing into each other's bodies, trying to get so close that quantum jumps could occur between their individual atoms. She placed her hand over his and grasped onto it, moving his fingers into her mouth and closing her lips around them. She sucked lightly on them, looking up as he towered over her. His lips parted and watched her through half lidded eyes filled with desire. Removing her mouth from his hand, she held it firmly and nudged him forward. They walked backwards in sync, one slow step at a time. She paused briefly as they passed the table to take another drink from the almost empty bottle of vodka, letting his hand drop to his side. 

Setting the bottle down, she stepped towards him and placed her hand firmly on the center of his chest, resuming their slow walk backwards. After a few more steps, she clenched her hand around the fabric of his poncho, stopping him. 

“Take this off” she instructed. He began gesturing to transmat his armor away but she caught his wrist before he could complete the motion. 

“No. I want to help you.” She let go of his arm.

“Congratulations, you have my undivided attention.”

Pulled Pork suddenly materialized behind him. If he were human he would have looked mortified. He hastily fluttered away to the cockpit to join Ghost. The two hunters shared a laugh before resuming their activity.

Moving together, they lifted his cloak up and off of his shoulders, casting it to the side. Amon began fumbling with the buckles on his chest armor, her drunkenness making it difficult to coordinate her fingers. He brought his hands up to help her, unclasping the restraints and sliding his armor off and onto the floor with his cloak. She tugged at the bottom of his shirt and attempted to lift it off of him. Even standing on her tippy-toes she is unable to reach completely above his head. He covered both her hands with his own and finished the job. 

She stared at his bare chest, running her hand down his body and feeling from his hard pectorals down to his relaxed abdominal muscles. Amon brought her hand back up to the center of his chest and lingered there, listening to his rapid heartbeat. She removed her hand and replaced it with her warm tongue. She tasted his cool blue skin, dragging her mouth down the center of his chest and abs. She pulled away when she reached his belt buckle so she could settle onto her knees. Biting her lip, she started undoing his belt-buckle. Uldren grabbed her hand in his and paused her movements for a moment. 

“You don’t have to do this.” She could see the lust burning in his amber eyes. 

“I want to.” Amon finished undoing his pants and desperately yanked them down past his hips, releasing them to settle around his ankles. He stepped out of them one foot at a time, kicking them away. She drew a hand up each leg, admiring the slope of his firm calves and the muscular creases on his strong thighs. Uldren shivered with each of her gentle caresses. She moved her hands up his inner thigh, resting the left near the top of his leg and bringing her right hand up over the bulge in his underwear. He hissed as her hand moved over the fabric, reaching up to grasp the band of his underwear before yanking them down and off of his body. 

She hadn’t been this up close to his cock yet and took time to admire it, pulling down on the blue foreskin to admire his glans. Amon felt him grow harder in her hand, and precum dribbled out of his tip. She leaned forward and gingerly lapped at it, causing him to moan softly above her. Heeding his encouragement, she ran her tongue from the base of his shaft back up to his tip, meeting his eyes as she closed her lips around it. Tip in her mouth, she closed her right hand around his shaft once more and started stroking him while she lightly sucked with her mouth. She kept her tongue pressed to the underside of his head, eliciting another groan from Uldren. 

He reached down to run a hand through her messy hair before grabbing onto what little he can and gently pushing her forward. At his behest she started bobbing her head back and forth on his cock while continuing to stroke him. She gradually increased her pace while he moaned and bucked his hips forward, grazing the back of her throat. She gagged, feeling a throb of desire between her legs, but didn’t stop or pull back, instead bobbing her head with renewed vigor. Amon brought her mouth all the way down to the base of his cock before pulling it back and swirling her tongue around his tip. 

“Fuck,” he gasped. “Amon.” 

He opened his eyes and looked down at his dick fully submerged in her pretty little mouth. He opened his mouth to say something but all that came out was a strangled cry. Amon watched his beautiful face contort in ecstasy as he shot his load into her mouth. The feeling was so sensual, if she had touched herself even lightly she could have orgasmed with him in that moment. The warm, gooey sensation was new to her but she found the salty sweet taste and the gorgeous man above her incredibly arousing. 

“Where did you learn to do that” he panted, pulling her onto her feet and clutching her to his chest. 

“I guess I’m just a natural.” He claimed her mouth with his hungrily, grasping at her beneath her shirt. She giggled into their kiss and stumbled drunkenly forward. He stepped back and caught her in his arms, lips never parting. Steadying her, he inched her back towards the table while bringing her stupid t-shirt up and over her head and tossing it away. She isn’t wearing anything underneath, not even a thong. 

“Were you planning this all along?” he teased. 

“Of course not” she replied unconvincingly. Uldren reached behind her and cleared the remaining cups off of the table. He grabbed the bottle of vodka and took a swig before offering her the last sip, which she downed hungrily. He lifted amon up and set her down on top of the table. 

“My turn” he growled, spreading her legs. He took a step back to admire the view, and a look of unease crossed his face as he hesitated to reach out and touch her leg. 

“What's wrong?”

“I..I don’t-” he started. Amon cut him off. 

“Uldren,” she looked up at him. “I want you.” 

He closed the distance between his hand and her knee, caressing it gently and feeling her soft blue skin. He stooped down to one knee and pressed his lips against the inside of her thigh. Her breathing picked up as he kissed down her inner thigh towards her dripping sex, legs wet with slick. He stopped just above her lips, biting down hard and sucking on the soft skin. Amon yelped in surprise. 

“Sorry,” he mumbled against her skin. “Just marking my territory.”

He moved his eyes to her spread lips, admiring the shape of her labia. He blew softly against her, eliciting a soft whimper. He leaned in, dragging his thick tongue from her taint up to her clit. Amon bucked her hips forward, desperate for more pressure. He smiled up at her before covering her with his mouth, expertly moving his tongue around her lips and clit. He continued to eat her ravenously.

Eventually he teased a finger at her entrance, gauging her reaction before sliding it in and curling it upwards. She arched her back and began moaning loudly as he fingered her slowly while sucking on her sensitive bundle of nerves. Adding another finger, he felt her clench around them and moaned into her pussy, nearly sending her over the edge. 

Uldren stood up to kiss her, fingers still inside and pumping at a steady pace, and she kissed him back sloppily. 

“Uldren” she cried out, exploding onto his hand. He continued fucking her with his long fingers throughout her orgasm. Reaching his hand out he steadied her shaky legs, holding her firmly to the table. He pushed her down to lay back on the table, running his hands up and down her sides, taking time to stop and fondle each breast. He pinched one of her nipples between his fingertips, watching her squirm beneath him and thrust her hips forward to rub against his erection. 

“Please fuck me” she whined. 

“Is that what you want?” He was taunting her. 

“Yes!”

He lined up at her entrance and slowly pushed into her, groaning at the feeling of her walls pressing in around his cock. Uldren began thrusting into her slow and deep, hips meeting with each movement. He rested his arms on each side of her body, smothering her small frame, and pressed his lips into hers as he picked up his pace. 

Amon moaned into the kiss as he began to hit against her sweet spot, her pleasure growing with each deep thrust. He removed his mouth from hers to start kissing on her collarbone and she spilled over the edge, walls clenched tight as she came all over his cock. 

When she finished orgasming he increased his pace further, standing up straight and pulling her hips towards him as he buried himself in her pussy. His thrusts grew more ferocious with every passing second as he began relentlessly pounding into her. Amon slid back and forth on the table, tits bouncing, and he darted his arm out to close his hand around her throat. 

“Fuck yes” she cried, closing her eyes. 

Uldren growled and tightened his hand around her throat, removing his other from her hip to start rubbing circles into her clit. She moaned wildly under his expert touch, still bouncing back and forth on his cock. He gasped and jerked his hips, momentarily breaking his pace, before resuming his thrusts and shooting his warm cum deep inside of her. Feeling filled to the brim, Amon came again shortly after him and he continued to sloppily thrust into her, riding her through her high. 

Finally he slowed down and collapsed on top of her. She snaked her arms around his back and pulled him in for a deep kiss. They remained there for several minutes exploring each others mouth, holding one another as they came down from their highs. 

_ I could get used to this,  _ he thought. “This is nice.” She hummed into their kiss, opening her eyes.

_ I don’t want him to get the wrong idea. Too much too soon.  _ She turned her head away and pressed her hands into his broad shoulders, pushing him up and off of her. 

“I need to get cleaned up.” She hopped down from the table, a combination of alcohol and sex causing her legs to wobble. 

“Let me help you.”

“No.” She shook her head, resting her hand on his chest. “You should get some sleep. We’re covering Io tomorrow.” 

She brushed past him and crossed the open space, stepping into the small bathroom and closing the door behind her. 

Uldren gathered his clothes quietly, fighting his urge to go after her. 

_ It’s just the alcohol talking. This is fine.  _ He left the ship and traversed the dark clearing towards his own. 

_ Want me to sober you up? You’ll sleep better that way!  _ Pulled Pork chirped in his mind.

“It’s okay, little light. Save your energy.” 

He crawled into the sleeping pod, pulling the silk sheet around him. He thought of the song Amon sang hours earlier, its soothing rhythm relaying in his mind. When he finally drifted off to sleep, he dreamed of a white haired woman. 

\-------------------------------

Book:  [ The Forsaken Prince ](https://www.ishtar-collective.net/categories/book-the-forsaken-prince)

**After The Fall**

She is gone. He lives now in a state of perpetual dread. He hates the future, because he fears it—he fears its emptiness, and he cannot imagine lonely eternity without her. As he staggers down the edge of a Martian chasm, he can feel the drop calling to him, begging him to join her. To end it all. The heat of the place soaks him in sweat. The dead chassis of one of his old Crow drones, slung over his back, feels like it's compressing his ribs, pushing his lungs up against his sternum, expelling his breath.

He needs the drone to fix his ship. Again. He must get off Mars. He must start looking for her.

The weight of the Crow drone slams him down on hands and knees. His vision swims—stars and shining Harbingers soaring through the ring plane and a wall of terrible light—and he sees the moment the Dreadnaught took everything from him, the moment his sister finally, absolutely, utterly ran out of secret plans. That instant when all sound ceased and he screamed denial and yet—in spite of his soul's plea to die with her—reached for the deflection shield that saved his life.

He crawls until he can rest in the shadow of a dead Vex block.

He crashed in the Candor Isles, not so far from the Gate to the Garden. The place where he saw another path for the Awoken. Why had Mara never accepted his invitation?

He has been hearing her. Thirst hallucinations, surely. But there is that hum, that whisper, that thrill of starlight in his skull…

A flock of his Crow drones found his crash site and repaired his fighter. He made it halfway to orbital velocity before a Cabal gun clawed him out of the sky and sent him crashing down in Hellas Basin. Now his Crows are dead and the fighter is probably beyond repair. And his sister is gone. His sister is GONE. And he followed her and all his people followed her because he and they were sure she had a PLAN she always had a PLAN something better than DYING BY THE THOUSANDS FOR A CITY THAT DOES NOT CARE.

He should go home. He should go home. If he can find a way. But will he have the strength? He cannot be the champion they loved. He cannot restore their faith in the purpose of the Awoken, or in his sister's design. He no longer believes.

This world is a carcass now. The scars of the Guardians' passage. Cabal fortresses reeking of decay, littered with flesh and bone and broken armor. The shattered chassis of Vex littering the sands. A place of death, death and war, a war that tilts on the fulcrum of the Traveler, brought upon it by the puppets of that Traveler, that fulcrum of war.

There is something in his eye. He blinks and blinks, trying to rub it away, and as he does, he struggles to hear her, to sense that prickle of starlight under his skin. She will tell him he is on the right path. She will tell him she's still alive.

He feels nothing.

\-----------------------------------------

He woke up in a cold sweat, pericardium straining to contain his beating heart. He rubbed his sternum to ease the sharp pain beneath. A physical manifestation of something buried deep in his psyche that he could not define. 

_ Guardian! Are you ok? I thought you were having a heart attack. I’m going to try and slow your heartbeat.  _

Pulled Pork manifested outside of his body and hovered above his chest, small eye blinking at him. He has no face but managed to look concerned. 

“It was just a bad dream.”

The ghost stilled for a moment, strings of data running through its mind. 

“Hmm. I cannot find any records associating extreme cardiac stress with nightmares. Suggested articles: Trauma. Panic Attacks. Heart Attack. Congenital Heart Disease. Atherosclerosis-” Uldren cut him off with a shake of his head. 

“I’m fine, really. It doesn’t matter- it isn’t real.” 

Pulled Pork expanded his shell and dematerialized, meshing once again with the guardian’s light. 

_ I will monitor you while you sleep, just in case.  _

Uldren closed his eyes and focused on his breathing. In, out, in, out. He finally settled into a dreamless slumber. 


	14. In the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A buried memory resurfaces in a dream. The plot thickens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: rape

_She paces back and forth angrily. They had never fought like this._

_“Marry me.”_

_She snaps her head in his direction. Her chest heaves, nails digging into her palms._

_“You speak of marriage in times like these?” Blood roars in her ears._

_He steps forward, reaching out to touch her. She moves out of his grasp._

_“You’ve come all this way only to hide in the Reef like a coward, enslaved to your sister’s will. I for one believe in our mission. To repay the cosmic debt. To help the people, the planet we came from.”_

_“Don’t go.” He doesn’t move towards her this time._

_Her heart beat painfully against her ribcage. She feels sick. He steps forward again, taking her hand in his own, but says nothing._

_“I left my mother, as did you. I left the distributary. My brothers and sisters. Everyone we knew. For what, to hide away in a city built of fantasy? What would Osana think?” Her blue eyes burn with emotion._

_“I love you.”_

_“You love your sister and yourself.”_

_He brings a hand up to her face. She leans into it longingly._

_“I’m leaving. I have to do something. Anything.”_

_“I love you.” He repeats himself. She refuses to meet his eyes._

_She tugs at her necklace, ripping it off. A large purple gemstone bounces on the marble floor. He stares at the ruined jewelry._

_“I love you.” He says it one more time._

_She finally returns his gaze. She turns around and walks out of the room without saying anything, swallowing her tears. She does not return._

_She settles down in a small village. The traveler looms in the distance, hovering over a barren landscape. Eventually the risen warlords come for them. They ransack the small settlement, killing the children and raping the women. She lies on her stomach, mounted by a man three times her size. Tears stream down her face. She begs for mercy but he does not relent. When he finishes he slits her throat, and the last thing she knows is the coppery taste of her own blood._


	15. Sleep Deprived

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They set out to destroy the Vex Transformers. Both hunters are plagued by past-life memories. Amon can no longer ignore her dreams.

“Ghost, what was that?” The ship jostled with turbulence as a wave of electricity crackled through its hull, stalling the engine. Amon flipped a series of switches, isolating the fission fuselage chamber to keep stray alpha particles from bouncing out into the surrounding machinery. 

“Nothing too serious. We just accidentally flew through the Io plasma torus.” He hovered next to her, scanning the ship for damage. Amon cursed. 

“‘Nothing too serious?’ That UV radiation nearly toasted us!” 

Ghost twirled his shell innocently. 

Steering them back on course, the ship continued its descent into Io’s atmosphere. 

“Everything okay over there? What was that?” Uldren’s voice crackled over the comms. 

“Yep. Just an electronic disturbance.” She steadied her breathing and reversed the ships thrusters to slow above the surface. They stalled in the atmosphere over the Rupture and transmatted down to the ground. Amon pulled out her ghost and summoned her sparrow. Accelerating to full speed, she raced off towards the base of a cliff and Uldren followed closely behind. 

  
  


They quickly traversed the short distance and dismounted in front of a cave entrance. 

“The Sanctum of Bones.” Amon pulled out her SMG and marched forward into the opening. 

“Sounds fun.” 

  
  


Uldren pulled a hand-cannon out of his hip holster and followed her into the lava tube. A plethora of spiraling fossils popped out of the silicate walls, bones of ancient creatures long since extinct. 

  
  


“Fitting name.” He placed his hand on one of the large fossils, curiously feeling its ridges. 

  
  


“Quit dawdling!” He sighed and reluctantly turned away from the wall, running to catch up with his companion. 

The narrow passage opens up into a large cavern. A massive stalagmite reaches up from the center of the room, and radiolarian fluid bubbles up from the cracked ground surrounding it. A stone pathway spirals up and around the walls of the cavern, dotted with several small openings into more lava tunnels. The cavern is crawling with Taken and a large blight floats near the stalagmite. 

Amon extended her arm, signaling for Uldren to stop. She inched backwards to him and whispered, gripping her Riskrunner tightly. 

“See that gross ball of goo?”

“The blight- yes.”

“You’re going to run over and empty your gun into it. I’ll cover you and take out the mobs.”

He nodded in understanding, reloading his Duke Mk. 44 hand cannon. 

“Now.” 

Uldren rushed forward into the cavern, making a beeline for the floating black mass. Amon opened fire on the taken Vandals and Dregs in his path, and one of the Vandals hit her with a blast of arc energy. It combined with her light and crackled through her body and her submachine gun. She began shooting again at the enemies, spraying them with bullets and allowing the lightning to chain through them. They shrieked in Eliksni as the shock hit them, their sizzling corpses dropping in unison. 

Uldren had already begun shooting the blight and paused to reload, throwing a punch at a stray vandal that skittered up to him. From the edge of the room a Phalanx stalked towards him, raising its shield to bash him in the head. Amon sprinted towards Uldren and threw her grenade at the Phalanx’s feet. She grabbed him around the waist and pulled his body along with hers as she dove out of the way, and the shield slammed down where they had been only seconds before. Just as it began to raise its arms again, her grenade exploded in a burst of blue arc light, broiling the Taken alive. It collapsed on the floor with a heavy thud. Uldren fired one more round into the blight and it burst into thin air.

  
  


“Thanks for saving my ass.” 

“Won’t be the last time.” Amon eased off the ground and picked up her gun. “We’ve got two more rooms to clear.” 

  
  


She extended her hand and helped pull him to his feet. They made their way up the winding path and turned into a much smaller room. Part of the floor was elevated from the rest, the raised portion containing a blight separate from the one on the lower level. Vandals and Dregs swarmed underneath the blights, and three Phalanx patrolled the room. 

  
  


“I’ll take care of the big guys. We each take out one blight. Got it?”

“Sounds good.” 

  
  


Amon shot at the back of the first Phalanx, taking it out easily with its shield turned away. The other two roared and turned towards the small hunter, holding their shields up protectively. She began shooting at the feet of one, causing it to yell and dip its shield forwards, exposing its head. She expertly swapped to her hand cannon and shot it in the head. White and black goo oozed from the wound as it fell forwards.

  
  


With two Phalanx out of the way, Uldren slipped past her and started clearing the enemies under the first blight. Amon turned her attention to the remaining Phalanx, taunting it. It slammed its shield down and the material extended out to either side forming an impenetrable barrier. She leapt into the air and hovered just above the reach of it’s shield, firing off several rounds into the skull of the cowering Cabal. Head reduced to a mess of black gore, it collapsed into a heap, shield deactivating the instant it hit the ground. 

  
  


Landing swiftly on her feet, she stepped over its body and made quick work taking down the remaining enemies. When they were all dead she unloaded into the pulsating mass floating in the air. Once the blight was gone she looked over her shoulder to see if Uldren had cleared his side of the room. He was wiping sweat from his brow and staring at the mess of bodies. 

  
  


“Transformer through the next room. Just have to clear it first.” 

They continued along the stone path, crossing the main cavern and central pillar into another room slightly larger than the last. They stopped and crouched behind a large stone so Amon could scope out the area.

  
  


Unsurprisingly, this room was also full of taken Dregs and Vandals. It was devoid of blights, but a massive taken Knight paced back and forth in front of a chest at the far end of the room. 

  
  


“What is that?” Uldren pointed his gun towards the massive Hive creature. 

“Pandrok, Pillar of Nothing. You stay back and take out the rank and file enemies. I’ll take care of him.” 

  
  


Before he could protest, she pulled out a sleek machine gun- Hammerhead- and charged into the open, yelling to get the Knight’s attention. It turned to her with a warcry and beat its sword against its shield. Uldren followed her out into the open and began shooting down Dregs that were scrambling towards her on four legs. 

  
  


Amon hefted her machine gun under her arm and aimed at the boss’s head. Heavy bullets poured out of the barrel, shaking her body, but she kept her balance and danced around as the Knight staggered back from the force of the shots. Uldren watched in awe as she continued to relentlessly beat back the Knight that was ten times her size. In less than a minute it collapsed to the floor, chitin bones crushed in a way that was incompatible with life. 

  
  


As Uldren gaped at the tiny hunter he failed to notice the dreg running up to his side, knife drawn. It tackled him to the ground and raised its thin arms to slash at his throat. Just before its arms could swing down, it was blasted to pieces by the heavy machine gun, covering Uldren in gore. 

  
  


He sat up, frantically wiping the flesh and blood from his face. 

“Fuck! Fuck that’s disgusting.” His stomach churned from the smell of liquified Fallen.

“Should have been on guard.” Amon jammed her gun into the dirt and rested a hand on her hip, watching him fumble around in amusement. 

“You’re much stronger than you look.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, nothing. They call you a god killer, but I had to see it with my own eyes to believe it, that’s all.” 

Amon picked up her gun and slung it onto her back, rolling her eyes. 

“Glad I surpassed your expectations.” 

  
  


She stalked over to the chest, using the Knights cache key to scan it open. When the lid popped off she called out to Pulled Pork. He materialized instantly and floated over to the open chest. 

  
  


“Take this. I don’t need the glimmer.” She glared over at Uldren, who was finally getting up off of the ground. “You’re welcome. Now come on, lets destroy this transformer.” 

  
  


She walked over to a circular opening in the wall and jumped off. Uldren jerked forward to try and grab her but missed. He looked over the sheer edge and saw her standing on a small edifice, staring up at him blankly. 

“You coming or are you just gonna gawk all day?” She stepped forward into a passageway. 

  
  


Reaching out his hand so that Pulled Pork could mesh with him once more, he jumped off the edge and landed where she had been standing. They walked several meters into the narrow lava tube before coming upon a floating metallic box. It’s metal parts were loosely connected by glowing white data structures. Amon shot at it with her hand cannon and it collapsed into several broken pieces. 

She held out her palm and Ghost quickly transmatted the parts into her ship’s storage. Uldren shifted from one leg to another behind her. 

“That’s it?”

“That’s it. One down, four more to go.” 

  
  


They backtracked through the cave into the clearing on the side of the road where their parked sparrows sat untouched. Amon whistled. 

“Damn, forgot to pack these up. Lucky they weren’t tampered with.” 

She climbed on her sparrow and waited for Uldren to do the same. Kicking up yellow dirt in their wake, they sped off towards the location of the other transformer that was hidden away in the Rupture. 

  
  


It took them the rest of the day and some of the night to destroy and collect the parts of the other four transformers, but they decided to go ahead and fly to Nessus before turning in for the night. Besides, there were far more safe areas to land the ships there. Parking atop a large moss-covered mesa, they said goodnight and powered down for the night in their respective vehicles.

\------------------------------------------

_Uldren and Mara walked arm-in-arm down a bustling street. Awoken wandered about between multicolored market stalls stocked full with various goods. The smell of roasted meat and exotic spices wafted through the marketplace. A noticeably empty stall caught his eye and he pulled his sister with him as he walked over to it._

_Behind a low metal table, a young woman sat tinkering with the electronics of some strange cylindrical device. The rack stood behind her, filled with similar devices in different styles and materials. The small awoken had pale periwinkle skin and an intricate marking covered the center of her forehead. Two thin lines extended out from the pattern, passing through her eyebrows and down across her eyelids. Her long raven-colored hair was tied back in an athletic braid. Plump rosy lips muttered incoherently as she crossed and uncrossed wires with her dainty hands._

_She looked up as they approached and Uldren saw that her eyes were a brilliant silver-blue. The color of electricity._

_“Hello! How can I help you?” The woman greeted them cheerily, her smile suiting her pretty face nicely._

_“What is this?” Uldren gestured towards the object in front of her. Mara let go of his arm and walked around the table to look at the devices hanging on the racks._

_“Come, I’ll show you.” The woman hopped up from the table, forgetting her previous frustration. She pointed to the rack. “Pick one.”_

_Mara handed her one she had already plucked from the stand and been admiring. She led them behind a curtain into a small secluded space. Uldren held back the fabric to allow his sister to pass. After kicking at a black box at the far end of the room, a digital mannequin materialized. The small woman turned to them and motioned for them to step back._

_She gripped the device in her hand and held it out in front of her, parallel to the floor. Pressing her thumb on a small button, the device came to life with a loud zap. Two blades of blue light shot out from either of the device, humming with electricity._

_Uldren and Mara watched in wonder as she twirled the weapon in her hands before spinning around and carrying her body forward towards the dummy. The electric weapon sliced easily through the mannequin, cutting it in half. The girl straightened and brought the weapon to her side, pressing the button once more. They watched as the colorful ends receded back into the cylindrical hilt._

_“Brother, we must try it.” Mara clapped excitedly, tugging on Uldren’s arm._

_The young woman offered her the weapon and took her place next to Uldren to watch._

_“What is your name?” He watched his sister with apprehension, afraid she might hurt herself._

_“Amon din Idril. And yours?” She extended her hand. In front of them, Mara whirled the weapon playfully in between repeated strikes on the dummy._

_“Uldren Sov. That is my sister, Mara.” He took her hand and shook it. “What do you call it?”_

_“I call it an arc staff.”_

.

Uldren stirred awake as the dream ended. His thoughts were flying a million kilometers a second as he struggled to comprehend the memory. 

_No. It was just a dream._

He ignored his gut which told him otherwise. 

  
  


\-------------------------------------

  
  


_Amon sat in front of a mirror atop a wooden stool with a soft purple cushion. She wore nothing but her leather undersuit. Her armor laid in a small pile on the floor. She gently brushed through her long black hair, breaking through the last of the tangles so that she could braid it. Behind her, someone yawned and sat up in the small bed at the center of the room._

_“Leave your hair down. We don’t leave until tomorrow anyway.” The figure approached her from behind and snaked an arm around her waist, squeezing her lightly, and rested a head on her shoulder._

_“I can’t face our mothers if I’m distractedly fussing with my hair.” Amon sighed and leaned back into their embrace. She met his eyes in the mirror. “Please don’t make this harder than it has to be.”_

_“If you don’t want to go then don’t.” He began peppering her neck and cheek with kisses._

_“You know it isn’t about that.” She turned her cheek away from his mouth and resumed braiding her hair._

_“If it were easy to be brave then everyone would be. We are making the right decision. The honorable one.” He knelt down behind her and spun her around to face him._

_“I’m afraid. Afraid of what waits for us there.” She finished her braid and tied it off before resting her hands in her lap and twiddling her thumbs anxiously._

_“You know how to fight. You’re brilliant both in combat and out. And I’ll be right by your side.” He placed one hand over hers, stilling her fingers. The other reached up to gently cup the side of her face._

_“We can die out there, Uldren.” He was the only person ever to see her vulnerable like this. To everyone else she was brave, optimistic. Ready to fight for what she believed in._

_“We were supposed to die a long time ago. Whatever happens, happens.” A tear rolled down her cheek. He kissed it away before pressing his mouth to hers. She wished they could stay like this forever._

_“This is why I usually prefer men. I’m not good with this emotional stuff.” He pulled back and grinned at her teasingly._

_“Screw you.” She swatted him in the face and crossed her arms in front of her chest, turning away from him._

_  
_ _“I was planning on it.” He scooped her up from behind and they collapsed onto the bed, laughing._

.

She woke up clutching her pillow to her chest, heart aching with emptiness. 

_Was it the nightmare again? The one about your first death?_ Ghost worried in her head.

“No, this was a new memory. Bittersweet.” 

_Memory. What makes you say that?_

“It was too real. It was too real.” She stared at the ceiling of her sleeping pod, trying to resist the urge to fiddle with her thumbs. She had not known that it was such an old habit. 

_Was he in it?_ Ghost emphasized the word ‘he’.

“Yes. We were together again. We weren’t fighting though.” 

_What were you doing?_

“We were talking in a shared room. I was emotional and he was trying to comfort me. Then we went to bed together.” 

_Perhaps that explains why you’ve been so easy ever since he moved in._ Ghost is trying to mask his disgust with humor.

“Perhaps you’re right. Perhaps it could’ve happened with anyone.” She didn’t notice her fingers start to move.

_What are you going to do? How do we proceed?_

“I need to talk to him.” She kicked off the blanket and pulled herself out of the pod. 

_Guardian, I don’t think this is a good idea. You spent years reconciling with the meaning of the nightmare- you can’t go back now just because of a few good memories._

“I never said I wanted that. Just that I want to talk.”

_Guardian, please. It's never good to open a can of worms like this._

She ignored him and opened the hatch on her ship, stepping into the cool night air. She hesitated before stepping onto the ground. 

_Turn back, Guardian. Just go to sleep._

  
  


She marched forward across the space between their two ships. Bringing an arm up to the cold metal, she rapped lightly three times. Behind the door she could hear pulled pork say something as footsteps approached from the other side. 

Uldren opened the door and started at her in surprise. His armor had been replaced with a loose black shirt and he wasn’t wearing any pants over his briefs. His long black hair stuck out around the top of his head, messy from sleep. The shaved side had grown significantly and now hung slightly past his ear, almost even with the rest.

“What is it?” He sounded weary.

Amon pushed past him and entered the ship. He shut the door quietly and watched her pace nervously. 

“I’m going to put on pants. Don’t leave.”

He turned and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He exited a moment later in a pair of black joggers. Amon had not stopped pacing. Blood trailed down her lip where she bit into it. 

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” Uldren folded his arms across his chest and stared at her expectantly.

“I had a dream.” She stopped pacing and stood facing away from him. 

“Okay. Is that all?” He ran a hand through his hair in a vain attempt to tame it.

“You were in it.” 

“Well we have spent a lot of time together recently. That isn’t abnormal.” 

“No.” She turned to face him, silver blue eyes reflecting in the darkness. “It...wasn’t a dream. It was a memory. From my past life.” She took a step towards him. “Before I was raised. Before I met you. We knew each other.” 

Uldren stared at her without saying anything, face unreadable. Amon started to walk past him. 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come.” She stepped around him and he put his arm out to stop her. She froze as he rested a hand on her shoulder. 

“I’ve had them too.”


	16. Circles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They sit down and discuss the past. Osiris sets to work repairing the Sundial. An old ally resurfaces at the Tower.

The two hunters sat cross-legged on the floor, facing each other. The ship was dark except for the light of their ghosts, who rested on the ground next to their guardians. Shadows of the two guardians were cast crudely onto the curved walls of the ship, giving an ominous air to the main room. Amon continued to twiddle her thumbs, unsure of what to say next. 

  
  


“I remember trying to get you to stop doing that. It makes you look unpoised; an unfavorable trait in diplomatic proceedings.” 

  
  


“How much do you remember?” 

  
  


Looking away, he tried to hide the pain in his eyes. 

  
  


“I really only remember things from the Distributary. I recall maybe a few months worth of time from when we first arrived at the Reef, but after that...not a whole lot. It doesn’t make any sense that I remember the distant past as opposed to more recent events.” Laughing nervously to himself, he shifted his eyes from her hands to her face. “You?”

  
  


“Only bits and pieces from that place, and one from right before my death.” 

  
  


“The Distributary, you mean.” Telling her the name of their old home filled him with nostalgia. 

  
  


“I have read about Guardians recovering small memories before, but to this extent? It should not be possible.” Ghost stared at the two guardians, trying to comprehend the situation. 

  
  


“Maybe it is because they are Awoken? Of the first Awoken, from the Yang Liwei.” Pulled Pork didn’t seem bothered by any of it. 

  
  


“Perhaps.” Humming, Uldren folded his arms across his chest. 

  
  


“Tell me about myself.”

  
  


“Are you sure you want to know? It isn’t too late to forget about all of this.” He truthfully could not decide if he wanted to forget about it or not. Part of him wished he could have just started over like every other Guardian had, but ultimately chose not to say as much. 

  
  


“He’s right, Guardian. Leave the past in the past.” Hovering in front of her face, Ghost tried to reason with her.

“I want to know.” She sat back on her hands and looked past him, waiting for Uldren to begin. Accepting her consent, he took several moments to gather his thoughts, and then began to speak.

“Let’s see...I first met you while I was out shopping with Mara. You were trying to sell some gadget, a new weapon.” 

  
  


“I was a weaponsmith?” Cocking her head to the side, Amon considered the idea. 

  
  


“Not quite You were just a brilliant tinkerer back then. Later on, I convinced you to study at the technical college. You graduated with honors and an excellent apprenticeship, going on to serve as a Eutech for the Sanguine until the Theodicy War.” 

  
  


“There was a war?”

  
  


“Yes. A story for another time.” Looking into her eyes, she could see that he did not want to discuss the matter further. 

  
  


“Okay. I won’t ask about it again.” She paused and looked at the floor, feeling awkward. “So when did we...you know.”

  
  


“Become more than friends?” Eyes dancing with amusement, he watched a blush creep up her neck. “If my memory serves correct, you were smitten as soon as you saw me in combat. I, however, had always leaned more towards the other side of the fence, so to speak.” 

  
  


“You...preferred men?” Blush deepening, her eyes widened with understanding. 

  
  


“For a very long time I was aromantic. On the rare occasion I did have a tryst it was always with other men and purely physical. Men were easier; they didn’t get attached as often.” 

  
  


“So, you thought I was a creep.” 

  
  


“Of course not. You, Mara and I became inseparable within days of meeting. I had valued our friendship too much to hold your feelings against you. Besides, I was certain Mara had already called dibs.”

“Queen Mara? She was interested in me?” Amon’s mouth hung open and Uldren laughed at her shocked expression. 

  
  


“Don’t act so surprised. She pined after you until Sjur came into the picture. After that, she ditched the two of us in favor of her Paladin lover more often than not.” 

  
  


“What made you change your mind?”

  
  


“After spending less time around my sister, I finally grew up. I realized how much I cared about you, and that I enjoyed the person I became in your company. It’s not like I hadn’t wanted to fuck you from the day we met. I was just afraid of having more to lose.” 

  
  


“Uldren!” She buried her face in her hands. 

  
  


“Please, Ai-” he paused, catching himself, “Amon, I mean- you were more than happy to let me once I finally offered.” 

  
  


Amon guessed he was about to use her old name. She was curious about it, but confident that it was best she didn’t know. Her new name held a meaning that she understood, and she was quite fond of it. It was the only part of her identity as a guardian that she had had any control over. 

  
  


Uldren held out a hand and patted the space between them. Amon hesitated a moment before taking his hand and allowing herself to be pulled into his lap. She sat in the space between his thighs and he wrapped his limbs around her protectively, resting his chin on the top of her head. 

  
  


“We used to sit like this all the time. I’d listen to you talk about your day and try not to think about your ass pressing against me.” He laughed when she smacked him in the leg.

  
  


“Is that what you’re thinking about right now?”

  
  


“It’s only in the back of my mind. Right now I’m just trying to wrap my head around all of this.” 

  
  


“Me too.” She traced patterns on his forearms as they sat in silence. Suddenly Ghost piped up.

“Guardian, ask him about the nightmare.” 

  
  


“What nightmare?” Uldren dipped his head down beside her and watched as he started playing with her fingers. 

  
  


“I have this memory from right before I died. We are fighting about something and I leave to go to earth.”

  
  


“What happens on earth?” 

  
  


“I settle down in a small village. It is attacked in the middle of the night by a risen warlord.” Her hands stopped moving and he felt her heartbeat quicken.

  
  


“Is that when you died?” Apprehension grew in his stomach when he felt her nod. 

  
  


“They killed everyone. Men first, and then the children. They forced all of the women to watch it happen as they raped us. One of the risen was having his way with me and he slit my throat.”

  
  


Swallowing a lump in his throat, Uldren wiped away the tear that rolled down her cheek. Her silver-blue eyes were watching an invisible trauma unfold- one that he had allowed to happen. He placed his hand over hers, rubbing circles into her palm with his thumb.

  
  


“I should never have let you leave. I’m sorry.” Sighing heavily, he closed his eyes.

  
  


“Why did I leave?” 

  
  


“We left the Distributary so that we could come back and help our ancestors. Help humanity. We arrived in the system and landed on Ceres. Mara immediately distrusted the Traveler and refused to let our people go back to earth. People began to freeze and starve to death as our inaction continued, and those who decided to leave were forbidden from coming back. You were so passionate about helping them, repaying our debt...you left, and I stayed with Mara. In the end, I was blinded by her attention, unable to see myself trapped within her claws.”

Amon twisted around to look at him, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion. 

  
  


“All those times we interacted the past six years...did you know it was me?” 

  
  


“I don’t know, I don’t remember those times. But I imagine I had repressed your memory, since I clearly never implied as much. It feels bizarre that I would forget you, though.” She settled back against his chest once more. 

“Well, no offense, but you were kind of a lunatic asshole. Definitely a tortured soul.”

He sighed. “Yeah, unfortunately it seems like that’s true.”

“Don’t worry about it. Blame it on Riven and your insane sister, eh?” Amon closed her eyes as he laughed quietly before settling into a few minutes of comfortable silence. She became acutely aware of her own tiredness, and decided to speak up so that she didn’t actually fall asleep. “Now what. Where do we go from here?” 

  
  


“I don’t know.” Silence took over the room yet again. Uldren held her and wished he could start everything over. “What do you want to do?”

  
  


“Do you still feel that way about me?” She stared down at their hands.

  
  


“I mean, yeah. Can you not tell? I’m already under your spell again.” Deciding to be fully honest with her, he hoped for the same in return- regardless of what ended up happening as a result. “How do you feel?”

  
  


“I’m not sure. I don’t have my memory to the extent you do, only small fragments. But...I do care about you. I’m willing to give it a shot.”

  
  


“That is good enough for me.” 

Pressing a soft kiss to her shoulder, he held her tight and she snuggled into his warmth. They eventually grew weary and moved to his sleeping pod, but stayed up talking for a while longer. He told her about the Distributary, their village, and the friends and family they had left behind. Still holding each other tight, they drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

They spent the next several days taking out the other Vex Transformers on Nessus and Mercury, handing over all the scraps to Osiris. He had dismissed them until he was able to finish repairing the Sundial- a few days to a week at most. Heading back to the Tower, they chatted over comms and prepared to report to the Vanguard about everything that had transpired. 

\---------------------------------

It was late-afternoon when they arrived at the Tower. Securing their ships in the landing bay, they made their way through the wide passageways of the hangars, through the bustling and wide-open spaces of the courtyard, and at last they arrived in front of the thick metal doors of the Vanguard’s headquarters. Amon glanced over at Uldren’s mask, finding comfort in it despite being unable to see his expression. They paused for a moment outside and gripped one another’s hands tightly to calm their nerves before releasing the hold and stepping side-by-side through the double-doors. 

Inside the room Zavala, Ikora, and a male exo were having an intense conversation while huddled around the large metal table that claimed the center of the floor. All three looked up as they walked in, the Exo’s bright blue eyes instantly catching Amon’s. 

“Welcome to the party.” The Exo stared at her from under his hood with a single hand planted on his hip. “The newest Iron Lord graces us with her light!” He gestured dramatically in her direction. 

“Shiro-4! Long time no see, brother.” Amon smiled at the familiar Exo. “What’s the occasion?” 

“I could ask you the same, Lady light.” Shiro looked Uldren up and down, sizing him up. “And who’s is this? Surprised you managed to get ‘er to give you the time of day.” Shiro gave Uldren a thumbs up. 

Amon cleared her throat and took a step forward. “This is Crow. He’s a part of my fireteam now.” Shiro-4 eyed him with suspicion, squinting his eyes as if to try and see past the other man’s mask. 

“Just who exactly-”

  
  


“Enough, Shiro. Quit wasting time.” Ikora cut him off, removing her hands from the table and folding them behind her back, chin tilted in the air. Her brown eyes bore into the hunter before settling on Amon. “Forgive him. His new title seems to already be filling his head with grandiose notions.” 

  
  


“New title?” Amon glanced back and forth between Shiro and Ikora. 

  
  


“That’s right! You’re in the presence of the new Hunter Vanguard, my lady.” Shiro gave a slight bow.

  
  


“Temporarily.” Ikora glared at the exo, who raised his hands defensively. “Anyways. Osiris contacted me and explained the situation. Unfortunately, you’ll still have to file an official report. Anything else of note you can think to tell us?”

  
  


“Actually, Ikora, there is something else I’d like to discuss with you.” Amon glanced nervously over at Uldren. “In private.” 

  
  


“Of course. Come, follow me.” Ikora turned and strolled gracefully towards a red wooden door, holding it open to allow them to pass through. She snapped an arm out to stop Shiro-4 as he tried to follow his fellow hunters into the room. “Not now, Shiro. Leave!”

  
  


“Boring!” Shiro groaned and walked away from the door. Ikora pulled it closed, leaving them alone in her office. 

  
  


“I apologize for the mess.” Ikora looked at the scattering of books and artifacts with disdain. She nodded towards a small couch and sat across from it, hands folded in her lap. “Please, take a seat. What do you wish to speak about?”

  
  


Amon hesitated before answering. “Have you ever met a guardian that remembered their previous life?” 

  
  


Ikora stood swiftly, moving to lock the door behind her before taking her seat once again. 

  
  


“Not in a very long time. How much do you remember?” 

  
  


“Not very much. However…” Amon trailed off, placing her hand on Uldren’s knee. 

  
  


“Crow, remove your helmet. You do not need to hide your identity here.” 

  
  


He obeyed, removing the armor and placing it on the floor by his feet. He met Ikora’s eyes. 

  
  


“I remember my time in the Distributary, and relatively nothing since coming to the Reef.” 

  
  


“Okay, so you have your...distant past memories. How peculiar. I sense that there is something significant about that, though. I ought to have you speak with the Techeuns...” The vanguard tapped her foot anxiously as she rambled on. 

  
  


“We knew each other.” Amon squeezed his thigh and he placed a hand over hers reassuringly. “Intimately. I was was close with Mara as well. I mean, according to him” 

  
  


“She was a highly renowned Eutech in the Distributary.” 

  
  


“The Distributary is practically a myth to us. Hardly any primary source knowledge of it exists.” A barrage of questions swirled behind the warlock’s eyes.

  
  


Amon nodded and began telling Ikora what he had told her, allowing Uldren to fill in the details when necessary. She listened intently, furiously scribbling down notes on a pad of parchment papers. 

  
  


“I believe that your past knowledge and the use of your crows can aid the Vanguard immensely.” She paused, frowning. “Though I suppose you don’t remember those. Regardless, I will need to discuss this with Zavala and possibly the consensus.” Ikora rubbed her chin in thought. “I am grateful for your honesty. If you don’t mind, I would like to meet soon with each of you individually- in the presence of one of my Gensym scribes- to run some tests and gather information.” 

  
  


“Of course.” Amon was not keen on the idea, but did not wish to press her luck. Ikora stood and unlocked the door. The three guardians stepped back into the main room. Zavala was pouring over reports while Shiro-4 leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling in abject boredom, idly fidgeting with a knife. He jumped up upon seeing Amon. 

  
  


“You guys done sharing secrets?” He let the knife clatter onto the concrete floor. Ikora winced and scowled at him when she heard the noise. 

  
  


“They’ve had a long week and are going to turn in for the night.” Ikora glared at Shiro before turning to face Amon and Uldren. “Guardian, Crow- good work. The Vanguard commends your effort. You are dismissed.” 

  
  


Amon grabbed Uldren’s arm, hurrying him out of the building and towards her apartment. 


	17. Dawning Delights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uldren gets a make-over before they head into the City. While shopping, they run into Shiro-4. NSFW ensues.

Uldren’s heart was beating slightly too fast as he stared at the scissors poised to strike through a strand of his hair. With her usual cunning, they had convinced him to allow the white streaks in his hair to be dyed back to a solid black color. However, conveniently hidden from him was the fact that she intended to cut and style it as well. 

“Relax, I’m just trimming the ends and evening you out. I don’t think Pulled Pork even knows what dead ends are- let alone that he should heal them.” Amon clicked her tongue, and the blades snapped closed with a satisfying click. 

“How can the ends be dead if my Guardian is still alive?” Pulled Pork tilted his purple shell towards the woman in confusion. She sighed, pulling straight a strand of hair from either side of Uldren’s head and comparing the length before continuing to cut small bits away. 

“Ever since I met the pair of you, I’ve started giving credence to the theory that ghosts are an extension of their guardian’s conscience.” 

Uldren frowned and glared at her reflection, causing her to laugh out loud. Her hand flew up to hold her chest as she snorted at her own wit, bringing the scissors along with it and hacking off a section of his hair. She froze and examined the mistake- a short piece that stuck out near the back of his head- before devolving into another fit of hysterical laughter. 

“I’m going to leave your salon a bad review. This is unacceptable.” He tried to keep a straight face while resisting her contagious joy. A flash lit up the room as his ghost captured the scene permanently, tinkling in glee. For the first time in his new life, Uldren felt content. 

Once she regained her composure, she parted the hair on the sides of his head a few centimeters above each ear and used her fingers to comb it together, pulling tightly as she gathered it in the back. After a few swift movements it was deftly secured inro a small knot, leaving the other half of his hair to hang just past the shoulders. Amon smiled and stood back with her hands on her hips, admiring her handiwork. 

“I feel exposed.” Uldren studied his new look in the mirror, turning his head to either side and patting his bun. 

“You have such good bone structure- always hidden behind that dreadful, floppy cut- I hardly recognize you this way.” She ignored his offense to the comment about his previous style and began trying unsuccessfully to brush the remains of his hair off of her clothes. “Well, I suppose I needed to change clothes, anyway. Once I’m done we’ll head out.” 

  
  


\----------------------------

The sun had only just dawned and it painted the looming shell of the Traveler in brilliant shades of pink and orange. It was a clear morning and a slight chill crept through the bustling streets of the market district near the Tower. The atmosphere buzzed with activity and the spirit of the Dawning radiated through each and every person. On one side of the plaza, a vendor and one of their customers bartered passionately concerning a roll of intricately patterned fabric. Near the back of the tent, an old woman sat stringing together a colorful garland to be hung between the buildings along with other similar decorations. She watched their interaction- fingers moving expertly without her gaze- and shook her head in disapproval. Across the way, several young children wearing brightly colored tunics chased a small black and white dog in circles around a stall, laughing and attempting to grab the ball from its mouth. 

Amon and Uldren walked arm in arm as they wove through the crowd, ghosts floating behind them. Uldren wore a look of abject discomfort. He was not keen on the notion of confronting so many people without wearing his helmet. Upon spotting the pair of hunters and their ghosts, one of the children paused their pursuit of the dog, pointing at the tiny robots and calling out to their friends. Uldren tensed as three children- two young girls and one boy- bounded up to them, dog in tow. The taller of the two girls, who each wore long braids containing strands of woven embroidery floss, stepped up to the adults and stared at them with curious green eyes. 

“Excuse me, Guardians, may we pet your ghosts?” The boy nudged her with his elbow and whispered something. “Pretty please?” 

Amon squatted and held out her hand, beckoning Ghost to sit still in her palm so the children could see him. The girls giggled with excitement and wonder as they took turns touching the ghost’s shell. 

“I want to be a pet too!” Pulled Pork blinked at Uldren before moving down to the young boy that was now staring at Uldren. He twirled and expanded his floral shell, putting on a small show for the child. 

“Wow!” The boy smiled as the little ghost flew into his mess of blond hair and settled itself comfortably. “Aww. Can I keep him?” 

“I, um, well you see-” Amon laughed as she placed a hand on Uldren’s leg, cutting him off. 

“Unfortunately, these ghosts have to stay with us, but you can always visit the Tower and play with some stray ones.” The boy nodded in understanding, watching as Pulled Pork rejoined his guardian. 

“When I grow up, I'm going to be a hunter just like you!” 

Mortified, Uldren briefly considered correcting the poor misinformed child, but before he could reply a woman called out to the children from inside the stall they had been playing around, commanding them to return and to leave the light-bearers alone. She waved at them apologetically as the trio scurried back over, yelling out thanks. Linking her arm around his once again, Amon spotted Uldren’s expression of abject horror and giggled uncontrollably. 

“Don’t laugh at me.” He pouted and untangled his arm, crossing it with his other in front of his chest. 

“Lighten up. I told you not to worry, no one here knows who we are.” She rubbed his arm and he begrudgingly broke his stance, allowing her to hook their limbs back together. They continued their walk down the crowded cobblestone path, peering curiously at the eclectic goods being sold. Amon gasped, changing directions suddenly and pulling Uldren with her towards a small shop filled with exotic plants and flowers. Letting go of him, she reached out to touch a pot full of large, iridescent lilies in an array of different colors. A middle-aged woman wearing a faded apron greeted them.

“Ah, yes, these are a new splice. I was able to isolate the trait from a glowing rose and recombine it with other plants. These are my first attempts.” The woman pulled a small flashlight from a pocket in her apron and clicked on the light. She shone it at the flowers and they watched, mesmerized, as the plant began to glow even brighter. 

“Do you offer custom arrangements?” Amon removed her hand from the petal of a blue flower and turned towards the woman. 

“It’s been a long time since I did anything for a Guardian wedding. But yes, I accept custom requests.” The woman glanced back and forth between the two hunters as she spoke. 

Amon blushed and laughed nervously, wringing her hands together. “Oh, it’s not- we aren’t getting married. I just want something for my apartment.” 

“Of course- forgive me.” The woman apologized and raised her eyebrows in disbelief, but provided no additional comments. Uldren moved his hand to the small of Amon’s back, pressing down lightly. 

“Put together something you like. I’ll come back and pay for it in a moment.” Amon stiffened and opened her mouth to protest as he disappeared through the doorway.

“Damn that jerk.” Amon clenched her fists, and the woman chuckled lightly. 

“So, not engaged, but together- no?” The woman gave her a knowing look. 

“No. Well, you see, we- it’s complicated.” Amon stammered as the blush on her cheeks spread to cover her entire face and neck. 

“Shame. Though I suppose you have plenty of lifetimes to sort out these kinds of things.” The woman hummed, turning away from her. She began leading her around the shop, collecting flowers that Amon pointed out and adding them to a growing collection in the large pocket on her front. The two women chatted lightly while the florist wove the plants into an elegant, rounded bouquet. Amon admired her creation, thanking her profusely, as Uldren returned and approached the both of them. He paid for the flowers and Amon instructed her ghost to transmat it back to her apartment. He threw his arm around Amon’s shoulders and addressed the shopkeeper. 

“I must commend you- my lady is exceedingly hard to please. Thank you kindly. Come, love. We must finish our errands.” He bowed to the woman as Amon fumed beside him. Dragging her out of the small shop and out of the vendor’s earshot, he released her and gazed down at the smaller awoken. “Karma can be rather unfortunate.” 

“You’re such an asshole! At least I only embarrass you in private.” She huffed and began stomping away from him, only to run head-first into the Hunter Vanguard. 

“You’ve got one helluva track record, Guardian. Not someone I’d want to piss off!” The exo whistled as he looked to Uldren and then back at Amon. He pulled her into a tight hug, peering over her shoulder to look Uldren in the eye. “Watch yourself, Crow.” 

“Shiro, I can’t breathe.” Amon squirmed in his smothering embrace and he released her with a short laugh. 

“I was just on my way to a Tavern for trivia night. You in, Lady Light?” Shiro looked over at Uldren. “Right. I guess you can come too, Crow.” 

“Sure, why not?” Amon looked back over her shoulder at Uldren’s blank expression. 

_ Who’s getting karma now, bitch. _

She clapped excitedly before grabbing Shiro-4’s hand. “Lead the way!” 

\----------------------------------

“Commander Zavala!” Amon slammed her fist down on the table, nearly knocking over their drinks, and yelled out excitedly. She met eyes with the Exo next to her. “Whether we wanted it or not-” 

“-we’ve stepped into a war with the Cabal on Mars.” Shiro and Amon burst into laughter as Uldren watched them curiously. Amon’s face had been flushed purple for the last hour, ever since the alcohol in her system had taken effect. He wasn’t sure how, exactly, but it seemed Shiro was drunk as well. He shook his head and downed the shot in front of him. The vodka burned as it made its way to his stomach. He hated alcohol- this was the first time he had drank anything since leaving the Distributary. 

“What is the name of the first major conflict that happened in the City?” The game-master read aloud from a card they had drawn at random out of a deck. 

“The Battle of Six Fronts!” Shiro yelled out the answer and exchanged a high-five with Amon. Uldren watched them interact, suddenly itching for another drink. He stood up and walked over to the bar while they waited eagerly for the next question. 

The bartender looked up from the glass they were cleaning as he walked up, setting it down and picking up a handle of Whiskey. “Not one for Trivia. Eh?” Uldren flashed him a half-smile and shook his head. “I know just what you need- a little pick me up. You and your uh,” he glanced at the table Uldren had been sitting at. “Friends. On me.” The man winked at him as he slid a glass full of whiskey across the counter. “A hundred proof, house-made. You’re welcome.” Uldren thanked the man and walked back to the table, taking a sip and recoiling from the bitter taste.

In front of him, Shiro leaned across the table and whispered something in Amon’s ear. Her leg was trapped between his feet underneath the table, and she brought a hand to her mouth to hide her reaction to whatever it was he had said. 

_ Fuck it. _

Uldren forced down the rest of his drink in one go before retaking his place at the table. Amon was still talking incessantly, but stopped as soon as he walked up. “I have to go to the bathroom.” She excused herself and sauntered away towards the washroom. He sat in awkward silence with the exo, who was swishing around the ice cubes in his drink. 

“She talks a lot.” Uldren literally couldn’t think of anything else to say. Shiro gave Uldren an amused look and placed his elbows on the table. 

“You know she broke five years of silence just to tell the Vanguard she would kick your ass?” Shiro grabbed Amon’s unopened beer and slid it over to the dejected man. “You need this more than she does.” 

“Are you fucking with me?” Uldren didn’t know whether to feel impressed, afraid, or saddened by the fact. 

“Nope! Used to be well known for her silence. Didn’t say a peep for years- just let the Ghost talk for her.” Shiro chuckled, shaking his head. 

“Why didn’t she talk to anyone?” Uldren could scarcely imagine the woman he knew acting that way. Sure, she could be quite reserved at times. But five years without a single sarcastic remark? 

“Dunno. You’d have to ask her.” The exo shrugged before lowering his voice and giving him a serious look. “Though I don’t recommend bringing it up. Like, period. You’ll thank me later, buddy.” Uldren sulked, unable to process the information in his increasingly inebriated state. He ripped the top off of the beer and chugged its contents. 

“What did you do to him?” Amon had returned from the bathroom and was repeatedly swatting Shiro in the arm. “And where is my beer?” 

The exo put his hands up defensively, easily deflecting the small hunter’s blows. “I think it’s time for someone to go home.” She stopped moving and gave both men her best pout, causing them to laugh. They both stood up, each grabbing an arm, and began carrying her towards the exit. She didn’t fight back and started grinning instead. 

“Being manhandled like this...it's a dawning gift I didn’t even realize I wanted.” Uldren slapped his hand over her mouth and she stuck out her tongue to lick his palm, moaning quietly.

“Save it for the bedroom.” Uldren tried to sound annoyed to mask the reality that he had become unwillingly aroused. “This is no way to act around our Vanguard, or in public for that matter.” Amon looked at each of them in turn. 

“Well then I’ll just invite  _ my _ Vanguard over.” The exo had remained uncharacteristically quiet until then. 

“You don’t have to ask me twice, lady light.” Shiro laughed as he spoke, but his words lacked any humor as he and Uldren shared a glance. Uldren pondered the implications for a moment. Perhaps it was because of the alcohol, or the year of loneliness, or a mixture of both, but he found himself to be not at all uninterested in the prospect of having a threesome with someone he usually would have hated. Amon swung her feet in the air, humming happily, and then rolled her head back to peer curiously at Shiro. 

“Wait, do Exos have-” Shiro cut her off with a loud laugh and the two men picked up their pace, striding in sync up to a transmat pad and setting Amon down in between them. 

“I guess you’ll find out soon enough.” 

  
  
  


On the walk from the Courtyard to Shiro’s apartment, the two men discussed strategy as if Amon wasn’t right there listening. She was practically hyperventilating with furor by the time they shoved her through the doorway of his spacious new flat, and Shiro lead her and Uldren into a clean room with a decently large bed in the center. Shiro flicked a switch on an ancient-looking speaker device and a beautiful voice began to sing, accompanied by soft jazz music.

“What is that?” Amon had never seen a music box as old as that one. 

“Gramophone. Ella Fitzgerald- she’s a pre-Golden Age musician. Romantic, eh?” Shiro winked as he waltzed back over, grabbing her arm and spinning her around before leaning her back in his arms. He scooped her up and carried her over to the bed, Uldren in tow, depositing her on the soft duvet. She looked up at the two men expectantly, biting her lip and drawing a finger along her exposed collarbone. Amon was thankful she had opted to wear a stylish lavender tunic instead of her armor. 

They both shared a nod before Uldren leaned over and started aggressively kissing her while Shiro kneeled on the bed next to her head. Keeping his mouth on hers, Uldren reached down under her tunic and ripped her panties off. Shiro already had his belt undone and was taking off his shirt when Amon reached over and began feeling around his crotch. Finding what she wanted, she broke her kiss with Uldren and turned to examine her discovery. 

Shiro kept his hands to himself while Amon pulled out his robotic member and began stroking it, eliciting a low hum from the Exo. “How does it feel, Commander?” 

“Thank the Traveler for Exoscience.” Shiro’s eyes flashed as she adjusted her head to lick along the glowing blue stripe running up and down his length.

“I’ve never tasted Exo before.” Amon closed her mouth around the tip of his cock and began sucking him off, working her tongue around him as she bobbed her head. Uldren had moved himself down between her legs and began teasing her folds while she was distracted. He slipped a finger into her and pumped slowly while he sucked on her clit. 

Amon moaned around Shiro’s dick and he reached down to uncover her breasts, pushing further inside her mouth and hitting the back of her throat. He met eyes with Uldren, giving him a simultaneously jealous and impressed look when she didn’t gag. “I know, right?” Uldren began teasing her asshole with his thumb while Shiro pushed once again into her throat, making her moan loudly and choke. 

Shiro’s breath picked up as he continued fucking her face, cursing to himself. “Don’t pull away,” he choked out, “that’s an order.” The exo stalled as he came in her mouth, launching synthetic cum down her throat. She pulled away and licked her lips, humming in satisfaction.

“Tastes like the real thing.”

“Yeah? You like it?”

“Yes, Sir.” She nodded and threw her head back, approaching her own release. Suddenly Uldren pressed his thumb into her anus, sending her over the edge from the surprising sensation. “What was t-that?” She panted and sat up on her elbows to look at Uldren’s grinning face. 

“Looks like you win the bet, Shiro.” He looked up at the exo and began to undress. 

“I told you- it's always the quiet ones.” Amon glared at them both and they put their hands up defensively, ignoring her questions as they laughed together. “Don’t worry about it.”

Uldren pulled her towards him by the wrists while Shiro shifted behind her, lifting her hips to sit her on her knees. He slapped her ass, and she whimpered, pushing herself backwards toward his erection. He lined himself up at her entrance and pushed in to her. Gasping as the size of him stretched her out, she reached a hand up to intertwine it with Uldren’s.

Shiro settled into a steady rhythm and Amon let go of Uldren’s hand to grab his cock, pulling it towards her mouth. She sucked him hungrily while Shiro pounded into her from behind, moaning and loving the feeling of being filled on both ends. 

Uldren cursed as he watched Shiro thrust into her. “You’re so pretty when you’re getting fucked.” Amon hummed and pushed her mouth all the way to the base of his cock. He cried out and came in her mouth, and she happily swallowed it all to add it to her collection. Soon after Shiro picked up his pace, slamming their hips together as he neared his release. She used her thighs to move back and meet his thrusts, and after a few moments he pulled out and spilled himself onto her ass. 

Uldren pulled her up and crashed his lips into hers, lifting her up so she could straddle his waist. He turns around and sits back onto the bed, taking her with him. She sat on his lap and ground into them while they continued to make out, reaching her hand in between them and guiding his cock into her. Shiro settled in behind them and leaned down to whisper in her ear while starting to rub and press on her asshole. 

“You okay with this?” Shiro teased her, gently pressing his tip at the entrance. 

“Y-yes. Please. Yes, sir.” She was already on the brink of an orgasm and struggled to answer him. With her consent, the exo carefully eased himself into her ass. Amon felt a burning sensation as her muscles stretched, reflexively using a touch of void light to counteract the feeling. “Fuck!” She cried out once he was fully inside her, and before he even began to move she was riding out her climax. 

Shiro began thrusting into her, matching Uldren’s rhythm after a few moments. She bounced up and down on their dicks, shoving her head into Uldren’s shoulder and gripping the blanket tightly as sounds of pleasure uncontrollably spilled from her mouth. Uldren grabbed her hips to steady her between them while they fucked her relentlessly. 

Amon couldn’t think of anything other than the feeling of being filled by both of them, of them rubbing together through her walls, of her g-spot being repeatedly slammed into. She shook uncontrollably as the most intense orgasm she had ever had took over her body. They kept driving their cocks into her as she came, each chasing their own release. Slumped against Uldren’s chest, she finally felt them cream one after the other deep inside her, and then everything went black. 

  
  
  


She felt something warm and soft wrapped around her, and a familiar but unintelligible voice tugged at her conscience. 

_ Is that Uldren?  _ She couldn’t remember where she was. Amon tried to open her eyes, but the light was blinding and she immediately squeezed them shut. Someone was brushing their hand against her cheek. She tried to open her eyes again to see who it was and noticed that the light was significantly lower this time. Opening her eyes fully, she saw Uldren looking down at her with a worried expression. 

“Amon? Can you hear me?” He spoke softly, voice full of concern. She reached out and touched his face as her vision slowly came back into focus.

“What happened?” She mumbled and moved her hand around, haphazardly feeling his face and causing him to chuckle. Footsteps approached from the other side of him and she rolled her head over to see Shiro approaching with a glass of water. 

“Welcome back champ!” She helped her sit up, and they tipped her head back, bringing the glass to her lips. Suddenly realizing how thirsty she was, she grabbed the cup from him and started gulping the liquid down. As she rehydrated herself, her memories gradually came back to her, and she squeezed her legs shut in panic. “Don’t worry, we cleaned you off.” 

Shiro pried the empty glass out of her hands and Uldren laced his fingers with hers, bringing her hand to his mouth so he could kiss the back of it. “I’m sorry, that was too much too soon.” She shook her head. 

“No, I enjoyed it. Don’t feel bad.” 

He frowned, unsatisfied with her quick forgiveness. Shiro gestured to the bed and addressed them both.

“You’re welcome to stay here for the night. Plenty of room.” 

Amon mumbled her thanks and settled back into the pillows, closing her eyes. Her ghost spoke up in the recesses of her mind. 

_ You shouldn’t have been so reckless, Guardian.  _ He sounded more exasperated than angry. 

“I’m sorry, little light,” she whispered to herself. 

_ I’m going to help you sleep, okay?  _ Like a flame combusting the last of the available oxygen, she drifted back to sleep, still clutching Uldren’s hand. 


	18. The Corridors of Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ******HEAVY SPOILERS FOR THE SAINT-14 QUEST*****  
> There's quite a bit of angst in here. This is the only Saint-14 quest I'm going to completely transcribe- for the others I'll stick to the good bits. I just felt like the first mission was really important.

_ She drove the cleaver into the heart of the hive monstrosity called Crota, executing him with such ferocity that a shock wave ripped through the ascendant plane, echoing with the screeches of a dying God. Fragments of shattered ghosts and once breathing guardians surrounded her feet, building a mountain underneath and propelling her into the vacuum of space-time. _

_ Floating in an unknown space, strange pulsating masses flowed from a lightless singularity. The alien tar expanded and contracted like a thousand wriggling worms trapped in a bubble nested between realities. Nine strange voices spoke to her of all the was and all that had yet to pass, of places far away which even they could not reach.  _

_ With a thunderous clap they thrust her into an incredible brightness. The light burned with the heat of a billion dying stars, and with each ensuing supernova a soul blinked into existence. The beings watched her with interest- in their claws were thick strings pulling her limbs in impossible directions. One of them forced her head down to stare into an alternate universe. In her own hands was a smooth object of foreign material, and with it she conquered a life connected to a silver thread. She peered at the endpoint’s occupant curiously. “Who are you?” _

_ “I am you.” _

_ Atoms ripped apart and fused back together as she was pulled into an endless ocean of darkness. Around her were the bodies of people she knew, and some that she had not yet met. Their screams were deafening and she desperately tried to swim up, away from the tortured cries. “You did this,” they accused. Her bones snapped and limbs contorted with guilt and rage as she sank further into the deep. It called out to her, and she had not the strength to yell back.  _

_ She continued to fall deeper as tubes of antimatter gripped her body and pulled her away from the sound of death and decay. _

\------------------------------

Amon strained to focus on what Osiris was saying, her thoughts swamped by a dream she had not had since Crota’s end. The old Warlock reached out and snapped his fingers in front of her face, the sound cutting through the cacophony in her mind like a bolt of lightning. 

“There you are, Guardian. Activate the Sundial whenever you are ready.” Amon nodded silently and walked over to the white and gold control panel. Uldren followed closely behind, eager to explore the strange worlds of the Vex which he had not encountered since entering the Black Garden. There had been someone with him, someone he once wanted something from, but he could not remember their name or the details of a face. 

Amon pressed her hand to the console. A blinding light engulfed their vision as they were transmatted into the unknown. They reappeared on a round platform inside a vast greyscale landscape. In front of them across a chasm dropping towards infinity stood a complex geometric structure. There was a large triangular archway with stone steps leading up to an opening. Fragments of a metallic material swept up and out from the arch and extended into the nothingness with the likeness of silver wings. 

“The shotgun you crafted in the infinite forge is reacting to the Sundial,” Ghost appeared at Amon’s side. “An onboard transporter is casting coordinates...a path through the Sundial, crossing two time periods. The Prophecy blueprint you used to craft the Perfect Paradox must have included this broadcast. If you can open up the initial chamber, I can align us to the first time period the broadcast is referencing.”

Ghost concealed himself as they stepped to the edge of the platform. Uldren kneeled down, reaching over the edge and feeling the empty air. However, he discovered that the air, in fact, was not empty at all- a faintly shimmering pathway of amorphous silicon stretched across the chasm towards the chamber. They charged forward, clearing the space as fast as they could for fear that the invisible floor might drop away. 

The first door led to another bridge- visible this time- that connected them to a second triangular opening. Approaching the opaque portal, Amon pulled her Riskrunner from her back and looked over to Uldren. 

“Ready.” He entered the glowing portal first, rifle steadied against his shoulder. It opened into a large chamber with a tall monolith in the center, surrounded by a pond of radiolaria and a smattering of thin trees. On each side of the room was a doorway identical to the one they had just come through, but this time two of the three were blocked by a large stone. Sol Collective harpies and goblins patrolled the area, turning and aiming their guns at the intruders. 

Amon and Uldren ran side by side around the circular path, easily clearing the enemies as they went. The open doorway led to another bridge room and a subsequent chamber that was similar to the first, but this one contained five doors instead of three. As soon as they entered, Amon was suddenly caught and suspended in a strange transparent forcefield. She began to panic and let out a small cry of fear. 

“Shoot it from the inside. Hurry!” Uldren yelled at her through the barrier. She repeatedly shot at the inner walls until it finally faded into nothing, releasing her. She crouched on the ground for a moment to steady her breath and her heartbeat. Uldren hefted her up by the arm and looked her in the eyes. “You’re okay. Keep moving.”

Once again they cleared the room in tandem, covering each other and working together to take out a minotaur. They repeated this process in a third room with seven doors, exiting the chamber to find themselves in a dark and winding corridor. After traversing the hallway, they found themselves standing in the vibrant pink and yellow landscape comprising the perimeter area of the Zephyr Station. Ghost spoke to both of them.

“This is new- topographical scan confirms this is Mercury circa the Dark Age.” The Guardians gaped at him in Astonishment. “Incoming signal on an old emergency panel, hold on.” A Fallen carrier ship flew overhead and they followed it, jumping into the Valley where Vex had already begun shooting at them from. Suddenly a new voice with a heavy accent spoke through their ghosts, coming from the signal they had picked up. 

“I repeat, this is Saint-14. The Fallen have overrun Zephyr Station. If you can hear this, turn back.” 

“Saint, hold your position. You have two armed Guardians incoming.” Amon replied to him using her ghost while they shot back waves of goblins and minotaurs. 

“Who is this?” The man sounded confused and mildly irritated. 

“Just stay alive, Titan.” Amon whirlwind kicked one of the minotaurs, shattering it into pieces. They continued along the valley and a group of Fallen guarding a servitor came into view. She motioned for Uldren to stay back, pulling out her Tranquility sniper and aiming down the sights at the glowing purple eye of the servitor. With a single shot, the machine crackled and spun violently before bursting into a heap of broken electronic parts. 

The dregs turned their attention towards the source of the shout, shouting curses as the two Guardians raced forward and gunned them down. After eliminating the fallen and the remaining goblins, a large purple barrier lifted, opening a passageway through a cubical mountain. They entered the cavernous hallway and continued fighting their way through hordes of dregs and several large Captains. 

Just as Uldren broke the shield of the third Captain they had engaged, Saint’s voice crackled over their communication channel once again. 

“All is lost, Guardians. Get out of here! I’ll hold them off for as long as I can.” They could hear the sounds of gunfire in the background. “The Fallen cannot be stopped,” he grunted. “They do not negotiate. Their forces are vile- I watched them burn and pillage whole villages in the Cosmodrome.” He cried out in pain before speaking again in a low voice, dripping with fury. “I’ve watched dregs eat children.”

Amon and Uldren did not have time to respond as they struggled their way through one corridor after another, trying to balance on platforms above radiolaria puddles while returning enemy fire. Sain continued his tirade.

“They envy us. Their legends say the Traveler chose  _ them _ . Before us. And they will kill, they will torture, they will maim, to earn their machine god’s favor.” 

They ran through a curved tunnel towards the light as he finished speaking, finding themselves on a ledge overlooking a large circular clearing with stone walls rising on either side. 

“They like the Traveler....dangerous....it only brings more violence!” Saint-14’s voice was choppy and barely intelligible. 

Amon spotted the purple glow of a Titan bubble shield. A figure was hunched over inside of it, arms thrust out to the side, straining to maintain their void energy. Amon and Uldren used their vantage point to take out some of the dregs and servitors that were swarming the barrier. She shot her void anchor next to the bubble, tethering the surrounding enemies and weakening them. Uldren activated his spectral blades and tore through the Fallen, slicing them in half with his sharpened knives of light and sending ether and gore all over the surrounding area.

“You’re strength is a sight to behold! What would your strength come to….how the people are dying on Earth, they die tiered in trepidation!”

An alarm sounded in the distance and explosions begin raining down from the sky. Uldren and Amon took cover inside the Titan’s shield, finally coming face to face with the voice in their ears. Before they could speak, a Fallen warship deposited a Walker about thirty yards away from their position, shielded by the glowing ether of a single servitor. 

Uldren dodged in and out of the bubble, sending round after round into the servitor’s eye from his rifle while Amon made quick work taking down the walker’s legs with her machine gun. Uldren was hit by a blast from the walker’s scorch cannon and his tattered corpse collapsed just outside the shield. Amon rushed over, dragging what’s left of him inside and shielding Pulled Pork while he revived him. 

Jumping back on his feet, Amon gripped his arm and raised her voice over the roar of the battle outside. 

“I’ve almost destroyed its legs. In just a minute, the walker is going to expose the power cell in its neck- bright orange, you can’t miss it. We need to unload everything we have into that cell- save your light until then.” 

“Roger that!”

Amon let go of his arm and they jumped back out into the heat of the conflict. Just as she had said, after a few minutes the walker collapsed and its head lolled forward, exposing the power core. 

“Now!”

Amon and Uldren lept into the air and activated their golden guns in unison. The heat of an entire galaxy blazed as bullets of solar light barreled towards the walker, striking it in the neck repeatedly. The power of their combined light was too great for the machine’s defenses and it collapsed onto all six of its legs before being ripped apart in a violent explosion. The hunters landed back on their feet and scurried into the bubble shield, narrowly dodging shrapnel and flying machine parts. 

Once all the hostiles were eliminated, the titan finally collapsed onto his hands and knees, chest heaving, and let the void energy dissipate. 

“We never should have come.” 

The two hunters ran over to him as he struggled to his feet, placing a hand on his hip and tilting his head back in exhaustion. He took a wobbly step towards them. 

“Another minute and they would’ve eaten my ghost.” He looked down at the ground, still trying to regain his balance. “Fallen are monsters.”

“Some are. Are you fit to fight, Titan?” Uldren reached out a hand to steady the man. Saint stood up straight and turned away from them dejectedly. 

“I was supposed to protect these people. I should be dead.” 

“You’re stronger than you think.” Amon took a step forward and tried to reassure him. He shrugged and shook his head. 

“Not strong enough.” 

Ghost appeared at Amon’s side and floated in front of the Titan, transmatting a shotgun and suspending it in the air. He tentatively reached out and grasped it, examining the weapon. “What is this?” He turned to face Amon.

“The Perfect Paradox. I built it myself out of spare parts, and light.” She looked on as the titan raised the scope to his helmet, testing out the sights. 

“It’s beautiful.” Though she couldn’t see his face, she could hear the awe in his voice. Ghost perked up and began projecting a view of the city, drawing Saint’s attention. 

“I probably shouldn’t be showing you this, but when has that ever stopped us.” Uldren glanced at Amon and chuckled, earning him a glare. “This is the last safe city of humanity, hundreds of years from now. You wouldn’t believe it today, but there are children laughing in the streets. When night falls, the people sleep in their homes- not against the walls, weapons in hand, like the early days.”

Saint looks around him, taking in the scene. “Like my people?” 

“These are your people, Saint. They’re descendants. If you quit the fight, maybe you’ll live forever- your ghost will protect you no matter what. But this last city….might never happen.” Amon spoke fervently to try and get him to listen to reason. 

Saint-14 took a step forward. “Everything I’ve built has died, and I have burdened most of the people I’ve met. I can’t do this.” He turned and faced away from the guardians. “Not anymore.” The titan slung the shotgun on his back and muttered to himself. Before Amon could plead with him further, she and Uldren were pulled out of the forest and back to their reality- back to Mercury. Ghost materialized and began scanning frantically. 

“Ok, let’s check the Tower databases and make sure we didn’t just wreck the entire timeline. Querying Saint-14.” Ghost buzzed nervously as he waited for the results. “Records state he was a former Commander of the Tower but vanished on a final mission to Mercury in search of the exiled warlock Osiris.” 

Both hunters released the breath they had been holding. “Well, those are the big deets. The timeline is intact. Good job, Saint….” Amon trailed off and hung her head. Uldren placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. Ghost nudged her in the side of the head and spoke again.

“Our trips not over. That broadcast I picked up off the Perfect Paradox marked one more set of coordinates within the Sundial.” 

Amon snapped her head up to look at him. “And you didn’t think to mention this earlier?”

Ghost twirled his shell nervously. “It wasn’t pertinent information at the time.” Amon sighed heavily while Uldren sniggered quietly. 

“What was that you said the other day- something about our ghosts being an extension of our inner being?”

Amon punched him in the shoulder and marched off with a huff. “I’m going to speak to Osiris.” 

When she approached him, her ghost relayed what happened inside the Sundial. Osiris greeted his words with a fire in his eyes they had never seen before. 

“You met Saint-14 on Mercury? That was his first off-world mission for the Speaker. Those Fallen were House of Rain, the lowest of their clans. House Dusk took their colors during the Red War. I-” he spoke quickly, nervously, and shook his head. “You mentioned two coordinates broadcast from the Perfect Paradox?” He nodded eagerly at Ghost, but his mind was clearly elsewhere. 

“Yes. Apparently.” Amon replied, shooting another glare at her ghost. Osiris rubbed his chin in thought, eyes flitting around as if he was watching some unseen event unfold. “The Sundial is spent, but it only needs time to recharge.” 

“What can we do to help?”

The warlock shook his head. “Continue to protect the City. I’ll alert you when it’s ready for another jump.” 

\-----------------------------

Amon, Uldren, and Ikora sat around a small table in a secluded garden behind Ikora’s living quarters. They each had a cup of chamomile tea sitting in front of them, but Amon had not taken a single sip or spoken anything beyond a ‘hello’ since they arrived back at the Tower. She sat and stared at the sky while Uldren briefed Ikora on everything that had happened the day before.

“Did she speak at all while you were in the infinite forest?” 

“Only when necessary.” Uldren darted his eyes over to Amon before continuing. “I, uh, I heard that she used to be mute. Well, for five years. Until I…”

Ikora frowned and took a sip of her tea. “Yes. Until she bravely spat in the face of Zavala’s cowardice and promised to kick your ass into the next reality.” 

Uldren laughed nervously and rubbed his hand on the back of his neck. Ikora reached across the table and took hold of Amon’s hand to try and draw her attention. 

“Amon. I cannot help you if you don’t tell me what is wrong. Did something happen we don’t know about?” She paused, searching her face for any hints before a look of realization came over her. “Did you have the dream again?” 

Amon snapped out of her daze and met eyes with Ikora, blue irises swimming with fear. “Yes,” she whispered. Uldren sat forward, perplexed. 

“What dream?” 

Amon sat in silence for several minutes. Neither Ikora nor Uldren attempted to pry further, giving her time to decide if she wanted to speak or not. Finally, she let out a sigh and began to speak softly. 

“After I killed Crota, I had a dream. Well- I thought it was a dream. Everyone I knew died, as well as millions of others that I didn’t. All that was certain was that it was my doing.” She paused, collecting herself before continuing. “When the Dreadnaught arrived in the solar system, my greatest fears became reality. The dream- all those people, my fireteam- they died as a result of my actions. My need for revenge against Crota. And then, the scorn, and the Red War, and Xol...everything that followed. Every death, every attack on the city. All a chain reaction starting with me. With my resurrection.” 

Ikora squeezed her hand and bit her tongue, resisting the urge to argue and dismiss everything she had said as unfounded. Amon looked to Uldren and continued. 

“I took a vow of silence as penance. But also out of fear, fear that if I opened my mouth I would shatter into a million pieces. That I would never stop screaming. But when Cayde died, I just, I couldn’t hold back. I had to speak up, to fight for him. And once I did, once I found my voice again….well, I haven’t stopped since.” 

Ikora peered at the awoken with sympathy in her eyes. “I’m only going to tell you what I told you back then. I understand how and why you felt that way. However, your assessment of your own causality is not consistent with anyone else’s reality. Eladrin and Ravi’s deaths were not your fault. Crota killed them—not you. The Darkness came here of its own volition, and you are not responsible for the things that followed it.” 

Amon met her gaze as silent tears rolled down her cheeks. “I know. I understand that now. The dream….it scared me. Once again I am afraid for the future.” 

As Uldren watched her speak he could see the trauma behind her eyes. It only made sense—for a guardian so powerful, who had seen so much—naturally, there would be wounds not even a ghost could heal. But beneath her vulnerability, he could see the same strength and resolve he had always known from her. A level of resilience that could not be matched, the perseverance required to uphold a greater good regardless of any personal cost. To him, it was no great shock that she had risen to become such an unfathomable hero. 

“It is okay to be afraid, Amon. Just remember why we fight. The Vanguard, the Traveler, your fellow guardians—we are going to be there right beside you. Always.” 

Amon finally took a sip of her tea, inhaling its floral scent. “I’m starving.” 

Ikora leaned back and smiled. “That’s more like it.”

  
  


\------------------------

  
  


Amon and Uldren decided to join Dez and her fireteam at a popular Indian restaurant. Unfortunately, Ikora was pulled away by Eva Levente as soon as they stepped out of Ikora’s apartment- something about a Dawning Crystal needing to be fashioned. Amon tried to convince Uldren to remove his helmet before they got to the restaurant. 

“It’s going to be fine- people are basically indifferent now. Which is a good thing!” She had tried threatening him, which didn’t work. So, she resorted to pleading and tugging on his cape. Stubborn as ever, he refused, resolving not to eat. Amon could not concede him that luxury and so they came to an impasse on the subject. 

Admitting defeat, they continued along to the restaurant. It was a rather large space with a genial atmosphere- Guardians and civilians alike sat in wide booths to chat with one another over their meals. Amon spotted Dez and her fireteam sitting in a partially closed off dining room with a round table covered in colorful mosaic tile. She led Uldren over and peeked through the curtain separating it from the rest of the dining hall. 

Dez sat in between her two teammates, all conversing jovially with each other. Mercer sat to her right- an Awoken titan with short black hair, dark blue skin, and fiery orange eyes. To her left was Tycho-3, an Exo Warlock whose dark composition and yellow forehead plates gave him a permanently perspicacious expression. They all three looked up at the same time, throwing their arms out or clapping excitedly as they greeted Amon. 

“Long time no see, Hivebane!” Mercer boomed at her, a smile lighting up his features. Tycho stood and pulled out a chair for her, bowing elegantly as if she was some form of royalty. Amon laughed as she sat down, thanking him for his chivalry. “And who’s this?” Mercer was sizing up the masked hunter that followed her inside. 

Amon stuck her hand out to him and pulled him closer, forcing him to sit beside her. “This is my newest fireteam recruit. But he can introduce himself,” she nudged him lightly under the table. 

“Crow,” he stuttered and tapped his foot under the table. “I’m Crow. Nice to meet you.” Mercer reached over and aggressively shook his hand. 

“A man worthy of the Hivebane’s personal squad- astounding! I would be honored to play you in the Crucible.” 

Uldren nodded hesitantly. “Of course.” The titan smiled and leaned back in his seat. 

“Brother, you can remove your helmet. I’m sure it is musty after a day of activities.” 

Amon shot Dez a look, and she replied with a helpless shrug, before placing a hand on Mercer’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Crow doesn’t have to-” Dez stopped speaking and all eyes turned to Uldren as he began unfastening his helm. He took it off and set it beside him on the ground, afraid to look any of them in the eye. 

Tycho was the first to speak. He sat up straight, folding his arms over the table. “I must say, based on your behavior I’m quite surprised to find you devoid of any deformities.” He looked at Amon, who was nervously sipping her water. “How have you managed to conceal such a divine specimen?” 

Dez and Mercer snapped their heads to glare at the Exo simultaneously. Amon glanced at Uldren’s flushed face and started howling with laughter, nearly knocking her glass off of the table. He looked like he wanted to melt into the floor. 

“Tycho, you can’t go hitting on every male guardian as soon as you meet them!” Mercer gritted his teeth as he spoke, and Dez started giggling along with Amon’s contagious laughter. Tycho fluttered his eyes and turned his chin up.

“An ancient guru once said ‘You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take.” 

This statement caused the two of them to chuckle at the absurd quotation, and soon even Uldren joined in, still blushing furiously. The room overflowed with their raucous joy, and Uldren felt for the first time the warm embrace of acceptance and belonging. 

After they all caught their breath, Mercer turned to Uldren and gave him a serious look. 

“Crow- welcome to the Tower!” He beamed and clapped Uldren on the shoulder.

As Uldren was thanking the titan, a waitress approached the table to take their orders, starting with Amon and making her way around the group before finally coming to Uldren. 

“I’ll take the same thing as her,” he said while nodding towards Amon. “The uh, Volcanic Vindaloo.” Everyone stared at him incredulously. 

“Are you sure?” Amon looked at him questioningly. 

“Yes, I’m sure.” 

Tycho whistled and shook his head while Mercer gazed at him with admiration. Amon and Dez raised their eyebrows, the table suddenly becoming very interesting. Uldren ignored them and began conversing with Mercer to organize a Crucible match for them all. Soon everyone joined in, discussing rules and taunting one another. Tycho was trying unsuccessfully to convince everyone that Dawnblade was absolutely necessary when several servers appeared and set their meals out in front of them.

The table grew quiet and Uldren stared down at the bright red curry dish sitting in front of him. Amon was the first to dig-in, shoving a huge spoonful into her mouth while making eye contact with Uldren. 

“Mmm, delicious. Go on, try it.” All eyes were on him as he slowly brought his spoon to his mouth. 

Pain. All he could feel was red-hot agonizing pain. It burned through his mouth and his body and his soul. He wanted to scream but was unable to move anything other than his hand which was frantically reaching for a glass of water. Screams filled his ears. Where those his screams? He brought the cup to his lips and practically drowned himself in the cool liquid. The screaming did not stop. No, it wasn’t coming from him….it was everyone else, laughing at him. The water did nothing to quell the eternal fire ravaging his entire being, and he gasped for air as he reached for Amon’s water. 

“Oh my god, your face! I’ve never seen it so purple!” Amon cackled and nearly fell forward into her plate. 

“Brother Crow, are you alright?” Mercer tried and failed to sound concerned. 

“I have never witnessed such pulchritudinous misery before. Perhaps a ghost is necessary.” Tycho chuckled quietly, enjoying the spectacle. 

“Guardian down! Pulled Pork- requesting backup!” Amon slapped her hand on the table, tears of joy streaming down her cheeks. 

Pulled Pork immediately materialized, buzzing around his tormented guardian. “Guardian, you have never faced an enemy like this!” He reached out with his light and began attempting to heal Uldren’s metaphorically smoldering skin. The hunter rested his head in his hands as the fire slowly went out. Sweat poured down his face and neck. 

“Holy fuck.” His traumatized gaze lifted from the table and focused on the guardians around him. Amon wiped her tears and rubbed a hand on his back as her laughter died down. 

“You should have taken the hint, Crow. We both know you can’t handle spice.” 

“Well, I didn’t know it was spicy!” He sat back, wiping the sweat from his brow. 

“Not just spicy. It’s one of the hottest dishes in the City, and not at all piquant. Amon is the only patron who has ever finished a portion,” Tycho spoke matter-of-factly. Uldren groaned and closed his eyes. 

“I’m sorry, Crow. I should probably take this to go and get him home.” They all nodded as Amon went to grab a to-go box from a server. 

“I suppose we will see you at the Crucible next week?” Mercer raised his eyebrows expectantly. Uldren could only nod in reply, unable to speak. Amon returned and boxed up her meal before helping Uldren to his feet. 

“Crow just needs some time to lick his wounds. I’ll have him back in shape before the match.” They all shared one last laugh before exchanging farewells, and Amon held him up by the waist as they walked back to her apartment. 

As she was helping him to bed, he pulled her down to sit next to him and met her eyes. 

  
  


“Amon. I think….I think its time for me to change my name. I want to go by Crow from now on.” 

She smiled and leaned down to kiss him. “Okay, Crow. Get some sleep.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, a bit of character development here. Uldren is going to be referred to as Crow from now on.


	19. Goodbyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crow and the Guardian spend some time apart. Amon dulls her emotions again, just as she did for years. Eva throws a wrench into the new normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the brevity of this chapter- holidays and moving have made things quite busy for me. Not to mention the never-ending bounty grind for seasonal xp *eye roll*
> 
> So, there's some more angst in this chapter. Sorry! I'm just digging it. Life imitates art, so to speak. You thought I was just going to throw the past in there and needlessly complicate the story for no reason? Chasing a made up fantasy? Perhaps. Or maybe setting stuff up for a prequel? Nah. Surely it was just a whim. Well, regardless- think again, sister. Gettin' this shit back on brand. Sort of. Pretending to, at the very least.

Her head swam with all the words she wanted to scream at them, circling her mouth like hungry sharks, but she did not afford them the privilege of feeding. Fingers pulling at each other nervously, she took a moment to gather her thoughts and stared at the floor in front of Ikora’s feet. 

  
  


“Why did you tell him?”

  
  


Ikora shifted on her feet, placing a hand on the gold medallion hung around her neck. “Shiro-4 came to us with his suspicions regarding a conversation between him and Crow while the three of you were in the City.” She glanced at Zavala before lowering her head. “I had to tell Zavala what I knew. It is my duty as the Warlock Vanguard- I could no longer omit the truth.”

  
  


“But Uldren is different-” Amon had let one of the sharks loose without thinking.

  
  


“ _ Crow _ is no exception to our customs, and neither are you, Guardian. You know it is forbidden to look into our pasts. Not only did you know this, but you  _ encouraged _ a guardian placed in your care and mentorship to pry into irreversible matters.” 

  
  


Amon closed her eyes. Inside her, two currents fought for dominance. The warm, comfortable past, the allure of second chances clashing furiously with the cold calculation of her duty to the Vanguard and to the Last City. She wanted so badly to let history sweep her away, drowning her in lost memories. To take her ship and shoot past the inner system, and never stop flying. To escape together. But she knew what she was bound to do, what was right. Her whole second life had been dedicated to sacrifice and selflessness, she could not begin being selfish now. Not for this- not for Crow, not for anyone. 

  
  


She reopened her eyes and drew in a deep breath, feeling her chest rise as it filled with air and strained underneath her stiff armor. Zavala watched her in silence, waiting for her to bow, to bend over, to relent. She did.

  
  


“I understand. I apologize for my reckless abandon of our mission and for breaking sacred tradition. I also plead guilty to misleading a younger guardian. I am ashamed and it will never happen again.” She bowed before the Titan, placing her hands on her knees and blinking rapidly to fight back tears and gain her composure. Crow stood next to her. Silent, unmoving. 

  
  


They were no longer allowed to work on the same fireteam, at least not for the time being. To quote Zavala, they needed “time apart to allow detoxification” or some bullshit like that. He had not forbidden them from seeing each other or anything- the Vanguard did not control personal affairs of that nature, nor did it attempt to. However, he was being sent to the Dreaming City to work with Petra Venj who had, much to everyone’s surprise, agreed to take him under her wing. So it was likely they would scarcely see one another in the coming months, if at all.

  
  
  


Amon decided to do what she did best in situations like these when emotions were challenging and bothersome. She shut them off, numbed herself. Whatever was between them in the past she had given up once before, and she could do so again. Dissociated from the present, Amon watched the rest of the conversation from afar, words flowing through one ear and out the other without leaving so much as a crumb of remembrance behind. 

  
  


“I have to return to the infinite forest. I’m going to bring back Saint.” She turned around to sprint away and escape their shocked faces, leaving them far behind her as she ran through the Courtyard towards her ship. She was just about to step up into the cockpit when someone grabbed her arm. He had trailed her so furtively that it took her several seconds to think who it could possibly be that was touching her. 

  
  


“I love you.” 

  
  


After he spoke she summoned all of her reticence and glanced over her shoulder to meet his wistful amber gaze, without a hint of sentiment in her own. 

  
  


“I know.” 

  
  


Crow dropped her arm and watched in silence as her ship left the Tower. 

  
  


\------------------------------------

  
  


Amon entered the Infinite Forest once again. Alone. She traversed the greyscale corridors just as she had the time before, ripping through the Vex like they were made of paper. Something burned in her chest- something raw and poignant- but she ignored it, and instead let the creeping and unwelcome sensation channel into and amplify her light.

  
  


After a somewhat short journey, she found herself in the rocky blue-gray landscape of Mercury, her ghost immediately beginning a scan of the overcast environment. “Where are we, Ghost?”

  
  


“Let’s see...topographical readouts match near-present Mercury. This is...before I found you. And after Saint-14 launched his final mission to find Osiris!”

  
  


She ran up a stone pathway and found Saint-14 hunched over and breathing heavily in front of a large pile of assorted gold-plated Vex components, glinting in the dim light. The titan turned to her as soon as she approached, shotgun clutched tightly in his hands.

  
  


“Guardian, you’re back! Just in time. I was about to send my ghost away!” The titan smiled in relief behind his helm as he slung his shotgun onto his back. He held out his arms, looking from one palm to the other. “I’m afraid the Martyr Mind has taken my light. But now that you’re here, these Vex are do-”

  
  


He was cut off as Amon watched holographic cuffs that crackled with lighting trapped each of his limbs. The titan struggled and strained against the bonds, grunting as he was lifted up and transmatted into the center of a cage comprised of his stolen light. The Martyr Mind materialized in front of its captive with its massive gun aimed straight at Amon. She rolled out of the way as a massive bolt of void energy shot towards her, obliterating the ground she had stood on. 

  
  


Amon rushed up a sloped embankment, pulling out her Whisper sniper while the hulking machine’s bolts aimed at her previous position. That was one thing she appreciated about fighting the Vex- they were slow as hell when it came to adjusting their line of fire. Crouching at the top of the embankment, she unloaded into the glowing white stomach of the Martyr Mind, grinning as it’s destroyed corpse fell to the ground. 

  
  


Her celebration was cut short by the manifestation of an identical beast on the far side of the circular basin surrounding Saint’s prison. 

  
  


“Fuck, are you kidding me?” Amon cursed and swiftly cleared out the Goblins and Harpies that were now swarming her location. Turning back to the glorified Minotaur, she took out the Martyr Mind once more. It was then that she noticed the  _ real _ Martyr Mind hiding comfortably behind a blue data lattice barrier. “Should have known. Bring it pussy.”

  
  


She dashed forward and scooped up the orb of light that dropped from the previous defeated Mind, scanning the area for a place to use it. A small portal-like ring glowed from atop a ridge, and she carried it over, slamming it down into the base. A wave of light arced outwards and damaged the barrier concealing the true Martyr Mind. 

  
  


“Gotcha!”

  
  


Amon repeated the process with two more clones before the barrier finally fell, and the Vex monstrosity stepped out from its hidey-hole to face her. Just as she aimed her weapon, a crystalline barricade developed around her, suspending her in the air. She was unable to move or scream and the Martyr Mind stomped towards her.

  
  


_ This is it. I’ve failed. _

  
  


The Martyr Mind pointed its weapon at her, poised to kill. Before it could pull the trigger, however, Saint-14’s voice echoed throughout the basin. 

  
  


“I can feel the light in my bones...Martyr Mind, time to die!” The titan cried out as his bondage shattered, exploding into the atmosphere with his massive void sentinel shield held overhead. He flew forward and slammed into the Vex, purple light eviscerating its matter on subatomic levels. The machine stumbled forward and collapsed into a mess of quantum debris. Amon’s cage evaporated and she fell to the ground, just barely landing on two feet. 

  
  


Saint-14 stood before her, brushing off his hands as he reveled in the victory. He spread his arms wide, gazing up at her. 

  
  


“It’s been a long time, my friends. I’ve chased your memory for centuries.” He clapped his hands together and looked around as Amon stuttered, a million questions racing through her head. “You should go now. Those who could kill me are dead.” Saint nodded at her, stilling his arms at his sides. “You’ve made sure of that.”

  
  


“And what if the Vex take your light again?” Ghost spoke before the words could escape her dry lips. The titan shook his head. 

  
  


“Impossible. It cost them everything to make the Martyr Mind. When you crushed it, they were doomed.” 

  
  


“You want us to leave you? You’ll be stuck here for...years.” Ghost fluttered nervously. 

  
  


Saint waved them off. “You’ve done plenty. Just open the Infinite Forest gate for me. I’ll meet you the long way around, at the entrance.” Dozens of Minotaurs and Hydra spawned in the background as he spoke. The titan turned, unholstering his shotgun and laughing mirthfully. “What’s a few more years of fighting Vex?”

  
  


He saluted her as she felt the rippling pull of the Sundial as it beckoned her back from the forest. As soon as her wits were about her, she ran through the triangular opening in the Sundial’s barrier and into a small courtyard separating her from the pulsating entrance to the Infinite Forest. She hurried through the area, taking out the few Vex and lone Cyclops on her way to the steps leading up to the gate.

  
  


“If we did this right, Saint should be waiting for us in the forest. Let’s hope he’s still alive” Ghost flew forwards to open the doorway as Amon stood with her weapon ready, watching the gateway intently. 

  
  


A lone Goblin was thrown through the opening and onto its back. It got up and stood onto its feet, stumbling back towards the portal. Before she could shoot, an armored fist burst through and killed the Goblin, sending it sprawling onto its back. “They call me Saint-14.” Saint stepped through the doorway, dragging a struggling Goblin by the foot. “They call me the greatest titan who ever lived...but I would be dead if not for you.” He stared at Amon as he pulled out his shotgun and executed the Goblin without so much as a glance behind. 

  
  


He stowed the weapon and placed his hands on his hips as a Minotaur emerged from behind him. Saint looked back at it, whipping out his shield and bashing it so that it fell to one knee. He began to repeatedly headbutt the Minotaur, only pausing a moment to pick up one of the dead Goblins lying nearby. He slung the corpse around its waist and jerked it towards him, crashing his head into its core. The glass exploded in a burst of radiolarian fluid as the beast crumpled to the ground. 

  
  


Saint turned away, discarding the Goblin’s dismembered appendages and clapping his hands together as Amon watched, dumbfounded. “Since the day I met you, I swore I would make it my duty to follow your example.” He paused, repositioning his hands to his sides. “I’m still trying.” 

  
  


Amon struggled for words as she gazed up at the legendary titan, unable to believe that she had in any way influenced his achievement. “I...there’s something you should see.”

  
  


“Just follow us, your ship is already prepared.” Ghost twirled his shell in excitement at the prospect of his guardian being a hero to, well, a hero. Saint-14 followed them as they set out for the Tower. 

  
  


\----------------------------------

  
  


Amon closed her apartment door quietly and took off her helmet, taking in the silence. Despondence tugged at her mind as she surveyed the empty home. She crept up the stairs and peered into the spare bedroom. He had made the bed before he left, and arranged the pillows incorrectly, but the thoughtfulness was what counted. Inching towards the bed, she grabbed a handful of the sheets and lifted them to her nose. He hadn’t washed them.

  
  


Breathing in his scent, she closed her eyes and allowed a brief feeling of melancholy to wash over her. As soon as despair made itself apparent, she pushed it away. Numb. Numb is comfortable, easy. She released her grip on the linens and left the room, shutting the door and hurrying down the stairs. Amon barely slept that night- cold, fitful- as she tossed back and forth in her bed. 

\----------------------------------

  
  


Amon made herself busy during the following weeks and didn’t show for the crucible match they had planned with Dez, Mercer, and Tycho-3. She did more bounties than even Ghost could count, spent entire days in gambit or crucible, and in-between it all helped Saint-14 make himself at home in the Tower. They had been working together to great an Obelisk in the courtyard- a beacon to wanderers in search of a safe place. Amon had gotten to know the titan very well, and they often spent mornings feeding pigeons together. Saint would talk and she would sit quietly, listening to his stories of the Infinite Forest.

She awoke in the morning and a soundless apartment met her once again. Restful sleep had escaped her ever since she had returned with Saint-14. She clutched a blue silk robe to her chest as she walked to the kitchen where Ghost had already put on a pot of coffee. The warm scent filled her nostrils, and her heart swelled briefly with sorrow. It was dismissed almost as soon as it began to take form. Amon felt nothing as she sat alone and sipped her drink before dressing and heading towards the Courtyard. 

  
  


She made her way up the steps above Eververse, waving at Tess as she passed. Tess flashed her brilliant white teeth back at her, platinum hair prim and perfect as usual. Amon never was able to style her own so well. Reaching the last step, she lifted her gaze and settled on the warm genial face of Eva Levante. “Hey, Eva.”

The old woman smiled, hands folded over her green dress. “Hello, Guardian. It’s an honor. How are you feeling today?” 

“The honor is all mine, Eva. I’ve been better- but I’m sure you’ve something I can do to take my mind off of things.” Amon wrung her hands together, praying to the Traveler that Eva would have gifts for her to deliver. 

Eva pursed her lips. “Hmm, yes. First things first, you really ought to fashion a new cloak.” The woman glanced down at her worn and dirty cloak. Amon silently cursed herself for forgetting to wash it. 

“Ah, right, that’s ok. Thanks, though.” Amon attempted to hide her garment by swishing the cloak more fully behind her. 

“Guardian, I am completely serious about this. I want to make you look good.” Eva raised her eyebrows and examined the rest of her armor. “Well. I will fashion you something, free of charge. In return, you can deliver a gift for me.” Eva smiled and pulled out a box of Ill-Fortune cookies. 

_ Shit. Why is this happening? _ Amon knew who the gift was for before she even spoke. 

“I would greatly appreciate it if you could deliver these to Petra Venj to me. A lovely young woman- do you know her?” 

She attempted a half-smile, unsuccessfully hiding her discomfort. “Um, yeah, I know her.” 

Eva studied her face, narrowing her eyes. “Is something the matter? Bad blood?”

Amon shook her head. “No, nothing like that. Not at all.” 

“An old lover, perhaps?” A faint smile formed on Eva’s lips as Amon blushed and waved her hands. 

“F- heck no, we weren’t, um, we aren’t lovers. It’s just that…” Amon trailed off and looked away from her prying gaze, blushing furiously. She couldn’t deny that Petra had caught her fancy before. In the end, she turned the Queen’s Wrath down in favor of their friendship.

“It’s just what? A crush perhaps?” The old woman would not relent.

“I-I just want to avoid someone, that’s all.”

“Oh? You’re avoiding Petra?”

Amon sighed, exasperated. “No, not Petra. Just someone she works with.” Eva placed her hands on her hips and raised her chin, content with the information she had gleaned. 

“Well, if you see Crow while you’re there, tell him Old Eva wishes him well. He is a very nice young man.” 

Amon coughed to hide her reaction, bringing her arm up to cover her mouth. “Ah, yes, will do ma’am!” She brushed her hands off on her greaves and took the gift. “I better get going.” 

As she turned to leave, the old woman called out to her. “So long, Guardian. Stay safe!”


	20. Belgrade- Battle Tapes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I believe, I believe there’s a reason  
> There’s a breach in the hull  
> Started going under, loot and plunder  
> Honey bee, honey bee, don’t you sting me  
> Don’t you sting me no more  
> With a heart like yours, search and destroyer  
> You take what ever you're owed  
> I can’t let you, I can't let you go

Saint-14 was bent over near the opening of his ship. The soft golden light of candles cut through the pale mist encircling his makeshift outpost, casting a warm glow onto the surrounding area and giving Saint an almost ethereal appearance. The titan held his gauntlet out, a smattering of bird seed pooled in the center of his palm. A small pigeon cocked his head at him and cooed before jumping up into his hand and pecking happily at the offering. Saint patted the bird gently as it ate, letting out an imitating coo of his own. It was...poor, to say the least. Amon couldn't help but giggle upon hearing the strange noise leave his mouth, and the sudden noise startled both the bird and the titan. 

  
  


"Oh, Hunter, I almost did not see you! So small. A useful trait," Saint beamed at Amon without a hint of self consciousness. 

  
  


"I see you're taking excellent care of the local fowl, Saint."

  
  


"Birds are nesting in the City's walls. These are exciting times." He brought the pigeon up to his shoulder and is nestled atop his pauldron. He studied Amon for a moment before beckoning her over and pointing at a crate near his feet. "Please, sit. I teach you the way."

  
  


Amon hesitated a moment before padding over and sitting on the crate, hands folded in her lap. Saint unfolded them swiftly and suspended one arm in the air with her palm facing upwards. He signaled for her to hold that position before reaching up and dismounting the bird from his shoulder. He brought it towards her palm and gave it a light nudge so that it hopped over into her hand. Amon instinctively brought her other palm over to hold it. The bird shuffled and she gave it a slight squeeze, causing the pigeon to let out a quiet squawk. 

  
  


"Listen friend, when you hold a bird," Saint stepped forward and picked up the small creature, caressing it soothingly. "You must be gentle. Bird is not like gun. Do not squeeze." 

  
  


Amon sighed, trying to diffuse the rapidly growing lump in her throat. Of all the times for her emotional damn to break, why did it have to happen in front of the greatest titan who ever lived? "I'm sorry," she whispered and started at her lap. Saint stood still watching the bird, before setting it free on the ground and moving to kneel in front of the troubled hunter. 

  
  


"What burden can I take from your shoulders?" Saint peered at her from behind his helm, placing a hand on her knee. Even with her armor on, he noticed how his palm seemed to swallow her leg. She had lost weight. "These eyes saw the rise of the first wall. It was a sight to behold. Back then, I was a cook for those who laboured to build it. Your food here- it is an improvement over my time," he chuckled ruefully. "We must remember how far we’ve come. It was not long a go out people starved in the wild." 

  
  


Amon nodded. "The City has come a long way. I only hope that I have done more harm than good, but at times I can't be certain." 

  
  
  


"The City breathes, ships flow through its veins, it is thriving. They speak your name," he paused to look out across the hangar. "But this is not what troubles you." He shifted his concealed gaze to focus on her. 

  
  


"For so long I…" she stopped, suddenly uncertain of herself. Saint nodded for her to continue. "I've seen so much loss. If I felt it all I wouldn't have survived. So I don't feel anything at all...at least, I haven't in a long time. Emotions just get in the way." She stopped and took a deep breath, lifting her head to look at the titan. "But recently I've found myself wanting those things back. Those feelings." 

  
  


Saint-14 hummed thoughtfully. "I've known many Guardians who have done the same. We each grapple with the Light in our own way. But sometimes a thing will latch on to us. Birds, fireteam ….a person. It is those times that we can choose not to walk the path of the Light on our own." 

  
  


"But how? Everyone I let close has gotten hurt because of me. And if I give in to these selfish whims, countless others may suffer too." 

  
  


"Guardian. You must not blame yourself for ailments brought by the darkness. Some say the Dark is rising. But I say, have you seen the Light?" He made a fist as he spoke, removing his helmet to stare at her directly. "I once chased after someone I cared for very much. Now I am here. This is real. And I would do it all again, Guardian. It is not selfish to retain your humanity," he paused, chuckling. "And this is coming from an Exo!" His mouth plates split into a grin as he squeezed her knee. 

  
  


Amon sat for a moment, puzzled. "Are you talking about Osi-"

The titan stood and cut her off. "I can only guess at what the heart of your trouble is, Guardian, but I am more keen than I look. As are you," he grunted and turned away slightly, resting one hand on his hip and cradling his helmet in the other. "Follow your bird, my friend. I am here when you need me."

  
  


Blushing, Amon opened her mouth to question the titan, but he had already left their spot to greet a group of approaching Warlocks. She strapped on her helmet and threw her cloak over her head before making her way to her ship to deliver Eva's gifts. 

  
  


\---------------

  
  


As soon as she landed in the Divalan Mists, Amon spotted Petra perched on a familiar rocky outcropping. She was looking out towards the Blind Well's entrance with a hand shielding her eyes, while corsairs scurried around the makeshift camp set up behind her, issuing small bounties and missions to the few Guardians around. The woman sensed her presence and whipped around to lock her one good eye with Amon's. Resting a hand on one hip, Petra scowled and gestured for her to walk over. She approached the Wrath warily, stopping at the bottom of her pedestal and peering up at her old friend. 

  
  


"What gave you any mind to go so long without coming to visit?" Petra's scowl broke into a smile and she stepped down with her arms outstretched. "I haven't seen you in ages, Guardian." 

  
  


Amon moved forward and met her embrace, hugging the taller woman tightly. "I'm sorry, I've just been-"

  
  


Petra cut her off. "Busy, hmm? Yes, I was quite surprised when Ikora told me a certain Peacock had resurfaced." Amon flinched at the mention of him, and Petra pulled away to look at her. "Now. If you've the time, you really must rectify whatever it is you have done to the poor man. I've not the time to mend broken hearted Guardians in between their tasks." 

  
  


"Gee, is there anything Ikora didn't tell you?" Amon rolled her eyes. 

  
  


"You know as well as I that she leaves no want for details. Anyhow. He would never show it intentionally, but you know how Crow is. The subtle moping is just, well, exhausting," Petra continued, shaking her head.

  
  


"How is he, otherwise?" Amon instantly hated herself for asking.

  
  


Petra raised an eyebrow before lowering her voice. "It's rather funny, actually. I had him speak with the Techeuns about the whole, ah, memory situation. It seems that he really only remembers the distant past...and that which he did know of history is fading. Remarkable, truly. A mind wiped clean, repopulated, and once again swept with amnesia. They've jokingly named his ship the Amnestia."

  
  


Amon frowned, puzzled. "So what do you think about it all?"

  
  


"I look at it like this. He is like a clone. Same genetics, similar personality, and even some of the same memories. However, despite all this…he remains a different individual. It's no different than me reading a history book about my ancestors. I am of it, and yet not a part of it. For him, his past just spins on a movie reel within his mind at times. A great cosmic joke, if you ask me. Needless." She paused, lost in thought. "You know, you could just ask him all this yourself." 

  
  


"Well I sort of made plans to avoid him." They stood in silence for several minutes, watching swarms of Taken grapple against Skorn in the distance. "Right. I'm just here on behalf of Eva. Happy Dawning!" Amon thrust the box of ill-fortune cookies into Petra's chest. 

  
  


"And here I was hoping you'd come to see me of your own accord." Petra grinned and winked at Amon, causing her to blush. "I'm only joking. Give Eva my thanks." 

  
  


Scratching the back of her cloak, Amon started to make up an excuse to leave. 

  
  


"Not so fast," Petra said. "Won't you stay and run a bounty or two for me? I could really use the extra help. My regulars are all on holiday." Petra rolled her eye, as if the notion of taking a day off was the most frivolous waste of time anyone could commit to. 

  
  


Amon sighed before obliging her old friend's request. Before she set off, Petra called out to her. 

  
  


"In case you're wondering, I've sent the Crow to fetch one of my corsairs from a lost sector in Rheasilva." 

  
  


She pretended not to hear as she mounted her Sparrow and headed to that exact location.

  
  


‐----------

  
  


Treading quietly, Amon made her way carefully down the rocks at the entrance to the lost sector, descending into the dark cave. She heard a single gunshot from up ahead, followed by silence. Reaching the end of the corridor, she stepped into the dim cavern and paused to allow her eyes to adjust. 

  
  


About halfway between her and the far end of the room lay the smoking figure of a dead Skorn captain. In front of it, a dark hooded figure stood with a knife clutched in hand. Amon recognized him immediately, and in her anxiety lost her balance for a moment. But, the moment lasted long enough for her to stumble and make a small splashing noise in one of the puddles on the floor. The figure turned and rushed with incredible speed, pinning her to the wall and holding the knife at her throat. 

  
  


"Why are you following me? Did you kill that Corsair?" He asks, pressing the knife harder. 

  
  


Amon's brain was still fried from trying to process the fact that he was actually here, in front of her, touching her. She couldn't believe she had let Saint unwittingly convince her to do this. 

  
  


"Talk, or I'll make you talk." He waited a few seconds for her to answer, and was unsatisfied. Removing the knife from her throat, he stepped back. Amon was about to move until she realized that several bands of void light kept her restrained against the wall. She looked down at her trapped arms and then back up at him, just in time to see the knife flying towards her head. It sunk into the wall only millimeters from the edge of her cloaked head, making her flinch. 

  
  


"Oh my cotton socks…" she whispered breathlessly, simultaneously annoyed and aroused as a warm feeling grew in her stomach and her limbs tingled with adrenaline. 

  
  


Crow strode forwards and ripped her helmet off and threw it to the ground. He stared at her for a moment before removing his own to reveal amber eyes burning with anger. 

  
  


"Uh, hey," Amon gulped nervously. She hadn’t seen him filled with so much anger, sadness and sheer emotional turmoil since that night in the Tower, and didn't really know how to proceed. Certainly she couldn’t- shouldn’t- shoot him in the head this time. His chest heaved as he continued to bore into her with his fiery gaze as he used his body to cage her in-between himself and the wall. Tears brimmed at the corners of his eyes and she didn’t know if they were of anger, sadness, or both. "Crow, I-" she started.

  
  


"Shut up," he growled, cutting her off and hungrily claiming her lips with his own. He was forceful, dominating, as if trying to reclaim something that was lost to him. The behavior sent a pang of guilt through Amon's chest. She had forced him- allowed him- to pine after her approval and care, just as his sister had in the past. The selfishness of her actions during the previous months hit her in full force. From first treating him like a curiosity to tinker with, then dredging up their shared past- which he would have been content to let sleep had she not come forward- and finally, leaving him in the dust when shit hit the fan. She was a coward, afraid to feel anything at all and scared of holding anyone close. 

  
  


Not wanting to deal him such a fate any longer, she decided to continue giving in with renewed resolve, matching his demands equally in submission and desire. Sensing her surrender, he released the void light restraints and she sighed, pushing up off the wall and wrapping her arms around him. Few people had ever been able to read her so well. 

  
  


Crow broke their kiss and leaned back, scanning her up and down. His intent was consuming as he relished every inch of his prey. A hunter by nature, having her back in his grasp was a euphoric victory and he would savor every second of it. He grabbed the sides of her face and pulled her in again. That time it was full of desperation and longing, afraid that if he let up she would run away once more. He began hastily undressing them both, and Amon did not fight back or help for fear of getting in the way, instead allowing him to take the lead. She admired the white markings on his shoulders as he unfastened the buckles of her armor, appreciating the beauty of his naked form. 

  
  


When they were both undressed, he entered her without hesitation. She cried out in pleasure and discomfort at the sudden intrusion, and silently prayed that there were no enemies around that could have heard. As if reading her mind, he placed a hand over her mouth as he began thrusting up into her, leaning forward and biting her neck simultaneously. Amon moaned into his palm, reveling in every inch of him, allowing time to feel every place that his warm skin brushed against hers. She ground against him as hard as she could, chasing after impossible closeness, and he responded by grabbing her hip and pounding into her with incredible fortitude. 

  
  


This was different than the other times they had been together. This time it meant something- they were playing for everything, going all-in. Each frenzied movement threatened to send both of them over the edge. After so many weeks without so much as a touch from the other every interaction felt like heat on an exposed nerve. A cocoon of mixed void and arc light crackled around them, a tangible display of passion and pent up feelings that cast a violet glow onto the cavern walls. The cool and shocking sensation of their light only added to their bliss. 

  
  


She heard his breath shorten as he increased his pace, clutching at her hip with enough strength to leave a bruise. Crow groaned and twitched as he climaxed, the sound of his pleasure sending Amon over the edge as well. They both remained motionless in the silence that followed, letting the echo of their pleasure fade. Light arced and swirled around them, slowly dissipating into its respective bearers. 

  
  


His hand fell from her mouth and he leaned his head forward, resting it next to hers against the wall. “I missed you,” he whispered against her skin. She stroked his back with her hand, tracing along markings and scars. They sat in silence, holding each other, before separating and getting dressed without saying anything. Very begrudgingly, Ghost used his light to help Amon clean off and get dressed. When their armor was back on, Crow stood facing away from her and stared at the dead captain. She quietly padded up behind him and threw her arms around his waist, burying her face into his cloak. 

  
  


Crow stilled for a moment before turning around and lifting her face up. Wet cheeks shimmered in the low light of the cavern. "Are you crying?" He asked. Amon looked away from him without answering. Instead of questioning further her hugged her back and they stayed there, embracing, drinking in the other's presence. 

  
  


"I'm sorry," she mumbled into his chest. Crow placed a gloved hand on the back of her head and narrowed his eyes in concern. 

  
  


"You've stopped eating." It was more of a statement than a question, and Amon struggled to swallow her instinctive defensiveness in response to the accusation. Unsurprisingly, Ghost spoke ahead of her. 

  
  


"Yes, I've had to resurrect her twice now due to starvation." Ghost sounded more afraid than angry. Such behavior from his guardian made him exceedingly perplexed and scared, because he did not know how to stop it. 

  
  


"I've just been busy, and distracted. That's all." Amon tried her best to sound convincing and nonchalant. 

  
  


Crow hummed in dissatisfaction. "I guess we can talk about it later." He flinched in uncertainty on the last word.

  
  


"I won't leave you again." Amon squeezed him tighter before meeting his gaze as he sighed in relief. She struggled desperately to form the words she wanted to say. "I, um, I love, I-" 

  
  


He cut her off with an eager kiss, barely managed due to the smile tugging at his lips. Knowing that she did not always find it easy to show affection- especially in difficult moments- her fumbled attempt at telling him how she felt meant the world to him. "I know." Crow hugged her chest and picked her up, spinning her around and laughing cheerily. She started kicking her legs and complaining, but stopped when his contagious laughter caught up with her. Amon started giggling along with him, conceding to his happy dance. Soon after he had stopped and sat her down, his helmet was back on his head and his hand canon was ready at his side. "I just have some business to finish here…" he trailed off as he walked over towards the fallen Skorn, its body beginning to disintegrate into ether. 

  
  


Crow knelt down and shoved the body away, revealing the frail corpse of a downed Corsair. He used his fingers to close their eyes before removing their badge and covering the body with a silk sheet produced from a pouch on his belt. Amon watched, growing pale with shock as she realized what she was seeing and why he had accused her of murder when she first snuck up on him. 

  
  


"Did we just…in front of a dead body…" she felt like she was going to throw up. Ghost fluttered to her side. 

  
  


"Guardian, need I remind you of all the reasons that this is one of the  _ least _ inappropriate situations you've been in?" 

  
  


"By the Light, Ghost. No, I don't need a  _ reminder _ ." 

  
  


“Ok, because I was going to mention the time when you needed help getting Vex Milk out of your-”

  
  


Amon grabbed her ghost and muffled him in her cloak, face growing hot with embarrassment. She had almost completely forgotten that whole incident with Cayde and his shenanigans. Chest swelling with melancholy, she briefly flashed back to that memory. 

  
  


At the time she was extremely frustrated with the Hunter Vanguard, but looking back on it now she was just grateful for the ‘crazy Cayde’ story. The two of them had been thick as thieves back then, and bantered like they’d known each other for lifetimes; in a sense they had, after all they went through in such a short time. She had known a side of Cayde that went beyond his usual comedy, a man who wielded weaponized wit as expertly as he did his Golden Gun. He was always serious when it came to her, always there when she needed someone. Even during her five year silence he could communicate with her- he didn’t need words to know what she would say- and not once did he pressure her to talk. Ok, he may have teased a bit, but only in good fun.

  
  


At one point it had become clear that Cayde had wanted more from her. How that came to light was an entirely different story in and of itself. Their bond was strong and developed naturally into something that existed between platonic friendship and romantic involvement. He would take her to get ramen- all the while exhausting his arsenal of tomfoolery to try and get her to laugh or smile, which she did- or to watch the sunset on the roof of the Hall of Guardians in the old Tower. The latter usually ended with Zavala yelling at Cayde, and Eris muttering something about the call of the void. But, Amon was not ready or interested in anything of that sort at the time, and since had already made her peace with what could have been. If things  _ had  _ gone his way, though, he would have been the one to get her to talk again and to open up, even if only for him. In the end, she supposed Cayde succeeded. 

  
  


The bereaved hunter smiled sadly as her embarrassment faded into grief. It was a funny thing, grief. Often Amon felt like she were wading in the wreckage of a ship, clinging to a wooden board to stay afloat as massive waves crashed down, trying to drown her. When Cayde first died it felt like they might prevail- the waves came relentlessly with hardly a moment to come up for air in between consecutive assaults. Eventually though, the waves came less and less frequently- but still the same size- spaced apart enough to allow her to breathe and function in between. Every once in a while she found herself enjoying their persistence. Through them she kept her lost friends alive. 

  
  


Crow cocked his head curiously and walked over to her. Upon seeing her pale face and watery eyes, his brows furrowed in concern. “What’s wrong?”

  
  


“Don’t worry about it.” She mumbled and let ghost free, glaring at him as he dissolved into fractals of light. Crow grabbed her wrist before she could even think about walking away.

  
  


“Amon, you have to talk to me. I can’t...I can’t help you if you don’t let me in.” He searched her face for a way in, for a clue as to how he could gain her trust and keep it. Amon took a deep breath and mustered up the courage to meet his eyes. 

  
  


“I was just thinking about,” she paused, wondering if she should continue or not. She did not want to make him feel like he was responsible for her current emotions. “I was thinking about Cayde.” 

  
  


He thought for a moment before giving her hand a squeeze. “You stay here while I return this badge. When I come back, I want you to tell me about him. Deal?” 

  
  


“Are you sure?” Amon looked at him warily as he nodded in reassurance. 

  
  
  


\-------------------

  
  


When Crow returned he found Amon sitting in an old pavillion on top of a rocky hill. She leaned against one of the pillars and crossed her ankles, hands folded in her lap as her thumbs fiddled away. He piled his weapons and pack together before taking a seat in front of her. Resting his chin in one hand, he watched her stare out into the mist. A faint smile formed on her lips and she crossed and uncrossed her legs a few times. 

“What are you thinking about?” He asked. 

She shook her head in amusement. “There was this one time, back during the Red War. Cayde went about messing with some Vex tech and got himself stuck in a teleportation loop. At one point I had just finished saving him from a Hydra, and he was just floating there, stuck in a bright blue cage,” she paused to giggle before continuing, “man, you should have seen the look on his face. I’d never seen him so...so flustered. It was hilarious, and adorable. I don’t think he made a single joke as he floundered about trying to explain to me how to shut off the teleporter.” She smiled and looked down at her hands. “I wish I had recorded it.” 

  
  


“What was he like?” Crow asked. 

  
  


“Well,” she began, “how does one describe ‘Cayde-6’? Let’s see.” Amon shifted to sit cross legged. “He had a pet chicken, for starters. Colonel. Still lives at the tower.” 

  
  


This piqued Crow’s interest. “Oh? Was he an ornithologist as well?” he half-joked. 

  
  


Amon laughed. “Hell, no. The Colonel was the only bird in his life. Other than...well, yeah. Anyways. Cayde was a troublemaker, sure, but out there in the field he was a force to be reckoned with. Unconventional in his methodology perhaps, but he always got the job done. And he did it damn well too. He hated being stuck in the tower- but not even the lure of adventure could pull him away from his duty to the City and its people. Loyal, always.” 

  
  


She stopped, briefly pulling ghost out, and a hand cannon transmatted into her lap. “Ace of Spades. Even when I’m not using it, I keep it with me- ever since I got it back.” Crow gulped, and sensing his unease she leaned forward to put a hand on his knee. “Hey, its ok. That was Uldren...not you.”

  
  


Scooting forward, she lightly wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled herself forward to sit in front of his crossed legs, leaning back on her palms. “He never did say exactly who ‘Ace’ was. I’m not sure if he even knew. ‘I’m coming home, ace.’ I like to think he’s out there somewhere, at peace alongside Ace, and Andal.” Before he could ask, she answered. “Andal Brask- his best friend. Was the Hunter Vanguard before Cayde. Taniks murdered him and Cayde took his place...which reminds me,” she cocked her head and narrowed her eyes at Crow.

  
  


“If we’re honoring Cayde’s dare, then technically  _ you _ are supposed to be the next Hunter Vanguard.”

Crow’s mouth dropped open. “What? Why- what about Shiro?”

“Pfft, that won’t last.” She rolled her eyes. “But yeah, whoever bested him- er, killed him- was supposed to take his spot.” She shrugged in response to Crow’s incredulous stare. “Anyways, don’t worry about it. This is ah...a unique situation.” 

Her words hardly settled the hornets nest in his stomach. Amon sat up and pulled herself fully into his lap, placing her hands on his shoulders and touching her forehead to his. “Crow. Forget I said anything. It, it doesn’t matter. So don’t worry about it. No one’s chaining you to the tower any time soon.” 

Sighing, he closed his eyes. “If you say so.”

Amon was startled by a strange mechanical flapping. Something landed on her head and she rolled backwards and onto her knees, screeching. “What the fuck! Get it off!” She frantically waved Ace around while patting the top of her head. Crow burst out laughing, and a large metal bird came to rest on his shoulder. “What the fuck is that!” Amon pointed her weapon at the creature and Crow threw his hands up. 

“Whoa there, it’s just a bird, geez! Put the weapon away.” The crow flapped its wings and squawked at her. 

“That is  _ not _ a bird, my dude. Since when are birds made of ballistic nylon and titanium?”

He laughed again, shaking his head. “Obviously not a biological bird. It’s a drone. I use them for reconnaissance.” 

She slowly lowered the hand canon. “Oh, right. Well, I guess I’ve never actually seen one.” 

“Good. That means they are working as intended.”

“I hope that means you haven’t been spying on me.” Amon frowned. 

“Nah. But I could…” 

Rolling her eyes, she stuck the hand cannon in an empty holster and brushed off her cloak. “Speaking of drones, I really out to get back to the tower…” she trailed off and looked back at him. He was on his feet and the crow was nowhere to be seen.

“You could stay a little longer.” Crow looked like a kid who had just dropped their ice cream cone. She stepped over to him and hugged him tight, looking up to meet his eyes. 

“I’ll message you when I’m done for the day. We’ll figure something out.” Amon could hear his heartbeat through his chest. It was a hair too fast. “I promise. Worst case, I’ll come back tomorrow.” With that, it seemed to slow. She stood up on her tip-toes and pecked his lips before they parted ways.


	21. Update

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just an update that I needed people to see so Im posting it as a chapter lol

I'm just posting this to say that I've done a teensy bit of ret conning so that the subplot about the past is more coherent. If you read the chapter called "Circles" [chapter 16] before 1/9/2020 I suggest going back and re-reading it.


	22. She's A Gun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Guardian states her intentions to Zavala. Amon and Shiro have a night out.

Amon returned to the tower, formulating a monologue she could deliver to Zavala as her ship made the journey back from the reef. Ghost gave input here and there but remained more quiet than usual in order to let his guardian think things through. The day had taken an emotional toll on her, and even he knew to bite his tongue and let her brood when she was feeling like this. He tried to convince her to wait and speak to Zavala another day and rest that evening, to no avail. When the ship landed, she exchanged pleasantries with Amanda, assuring her they would catch up soon before excusing herself to attend to ‘the usual Vanguard demands”.

Thankfully, the Courtyard was quiet- most guardians had not yet returned from their daily missions. Zavala stood in his usual spot, pensively watching over the city below. He was battle-hardened and a brilliant commander, despite his often boorish and cold behavior. Amon knew he had been through a lot and seen great tragedy, but still found it difficult to empathize with the Titan at times. She approached him warily.

“If you’re here for another fight...I don’t have it in me today.” Zavala spoke without turning to face her, hands still clasped tightly behind his back. 

“I’m not here to fight, I just want to talk.” She had come prepared for an argument but was hopeful their discussion wouldn’t devolve into that.

Zavala’s shoulders raised up as he took a deep breath, relaxing when he spun around to face her. “Fine. Let us speak in my office.” 

They walked in silence through the tower, giving Amon extra time to run through what she wanted to say in her head. She became acutely aware of her own exhaustion and hunger as they passed through the Bazaar where civilians and guardians hustled about bartering with vendors or sat together conversing and sharing food. The dawning crystal glinted brightly in the afternoon sun, outlining the shape of Ikora’s stiff form. She glanced at the pair quizzically but did not break away from the two Warlocks accosting her for not supplying more research opportunities. 

The heavy doors of the Vanguard’s makeshift headquarters thudded shut and Shiro-4 looked over to see who had entered. When he saw Amon his eyes lit up, and he stopped idly flicking his knife and removed his feet from where they were propped up on the center table, rising to greet her.

“Hey there Wolf. Up to no good again?” Shiro raised his brow, looking from her to Zavala. 

Zavala closed his eyes and sighed. “Shiro, I see you are hard at work submitting your reports for the day.” 

The exo rubbed his head. “Oh yeah, I finished those already.” Zavala glared at him, and he stuttered. “Now that I think about it, I may have missed a couple. I’ll go check up on that.” Shiro winked at Amon before turning on his heel and making a beeline for his office. Once he was out of the way, Zavala turned to Amon expectantly. 

“I see you two are getting along swimmingly.” Amon laughed nervously, trying desperately to maintain eye contact with the Titan. Now that she was trapped in a room with him, she wanted nothing more than to run back through the doors and hole up in her apartment to watch crucible matches and mindlessly scroll through the VanNet forums. 

“There are times when the direct option is best.” His gaze was unreadable, voice monotone. 

Amon winced, her mind inconveniently becoming a blank slate now that she actually had to talk. “Ok,” she breathed, “I wanted to ask...to tell you, that I have ‘detoxed’, as you suggested, and have decided that I will continue seeing and working with Crow.” She bit her lip and allowed him to process her words before saying anything more. “He has become very important to me, so much so that I am incapable of placing him behind my duty to the Vanguard or our customs. Crow is in equal standing with those obligations.” 

Zavala nodded slowly, gaze unwavering, and she braced herself for his anger. But instead of lashing out or yelling, he spoke calmly. “I speak often of the power of the City as a symbol. But never forget, it is a real place. The home to living, breathing people. A home that would not exist without your efforts. Down below us stretches the last free city on Earth. And it is here because of your strength, your deeds. Do not forget this, Guardian. It is why we are here.” 

“I understand, and I will not soon forget. I am not abandoning my post or the city, I just wanted to be transparent about my intentions. And, I was wondering if you would approve us to be in a fireteam again.” 

Zavala pursed his lips. “Guardian...I am not sure if I am comfortable directly allowing you to work together while on duty. Truthfully, I fear it may serve as a...distraction.” 

Amon’s face flushed with annoyance and embarrassment. “Are you implying that-” 

“Believe it or not, Guardian, I have experienced and am aware of the types of ‘interference’ a significant other can impose. I am merely expressing concern.” 

“First of all, too much info, Big Blue. Second of all, you yourself are always preaching about how us guardians are ‘stronger together’. I’ve flown solo since Crota, much to your displeasure- and now that I actually want someone on my fireteam you’re going to deny the request?” 

“It is not about that, but about who.”

“You know me, Zavala, and you know what I am capable of. I have killed literal Gods. Do you really think a romantic partner is going to stop me from killing even more? Not even Ghaul could take my light away. Crow sure as hell isn’t going to impede my crusade against the darkness.”

Zavala narrowed his eyes at her, and she knew she was close to crossing the line with her tone. “It is true; you have survived the dangers of the Hive, the Fallen. You should be proud. But do not become arrogant. There are plenty of shadows in the system, plenty of places for the enemy to hide.” 

“And you think Crow is one of them?” She scoffed in disbelief, standing as tall as she could to meet the Titan’s gaze. Was that pain she saw in his eyes?

“That is not what I said-”

“But you implied it!”

“Silence!” 

If Shaxx were here, he would have yelled at them to take it to the Crucible. Any other Guardian would eat her fists for saying such things. They faced off in silence, each biting their tongues before the situation escalated. Gradually they calmed down, and Zavala looked sad as he spoke. 

“Loss, Guardian. You have experienced it before, as have I.” He paused when his voice cracked, taking a moment to collect himself before continuing. “Not everything can be healed by our Ghosts. I fear...I fear that if something were to happen, you would break completely. The City cannot afford to lose another great Hunter.”

She was taken aback by his vulnerability. This was perhaps the first time Zavala had expressed genuine grief for Cayde in front of her, let alone admitted that he cared even a little bit about her well-being. Amon stared at her hands as she spoke. “You’re wrong.”

Zavala wore an expression of confusion when she met his gaze once again. “When Cayde died, I broke. Completely. I shattered into a million pieces. But I picked them up, and I rebuilt myself even stronger. For Cayde. And I will do it again if I have to. For Crow, for the City. For everything.” She dug her nails into her palms. “However, I won’t have to because I won’t lose him, not in this life. And I won’t see this city fall either. Ever.” 

He reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder, and she closed her eyes. “The dream of the City is your dream, her people your people. I consider the Vanguard lucky to have you on the front lines.” In an alternate timeline, Zavala might have hugged the Guardian. But that was not really his style, so instead, he dropped his arm and relayed a message that he could have left alone. “I believe Saint-14 wants to speak to you. We- he- has something to give you.” 

Amon opened her eyes and nodded. “Okay…” she trailed off, afraid to ask for an answer to her earlier request.

“You must tend to Saint first. But, you have my blessing.”

She flung her arms around the Titan. “Thank you Big Blue, thank you, thank you, thank you!” He stiffened, clearing his throat. Embarrassed, Amon quickly removed herself from him and scrambled back to a comfortable distance.

“That was very unprofessional.”

“Sorry.” 

Laughter burst out from behind them, causing the pair to spin around to find its source. Shiro was slumped over against the doorway to his office, lucky to be an Exo or he surely would have wet himself with hysteria. Zavala was instantly pissed. 

“Shiro, were you listening to our conversation?” The commander bellowed loudly, resisting the urge to shoulder charge Shiro into oblivion. Amon suppressed a giggle, covering her hand with her mouth. 

The Exo wheezed. “No, no, I was just going to leave and get food when-” he started laughing again. “W-when I saw her hug you. The look on your face!” 

Zavala stalked over to his office door. “I don’t have time for your antics or ridicule, Shiro-4. Good evening.” He slammed the door shut, and Amon finally let herself chuckle, sharing a glance with Shiro who just shrugged helplessly. 

He walked over to her and linked his arm with her own. “You up for dinner, Wolf?” 

Amon smiled brightly. “Hell yeah, I’m starving. I need to swing by my apartment to freshen up first, though.”

“You look fine to me. You don’t smell too bad either. Well, not any worse than Lord Saladin during the Iron Banner, that is. That man doesn’t shower for weeks.” The comment earned him a smack on the arm. “Relax, I’m joking.”

“You’d better be.” She dragged him out of the room and through the alley, entering her apartment from the back. 

Shiro shot her a look. “Avoiding someone?” he asked, raising his brows. 

“Nope. Just don’t want the neighbors to think I’m sneaking around with a robot.” 

“Rude,” he grumbled as they stepped through the back entrance into her kitchen. 

“Wait here, I’ll just be a minute.” Amon scurried off to change and Shiro plopped himself down in one of her barstools. She went into the bathroom and quickly showered, not bothering to shut the bathroom door. Standing in front of the mirror as she got dressed, she realized Eva was right- her cloak was in bad shape. Amon hummed to herself as Ghost sifted through her inventory, deciding to wear the cloak Cayde had given her so long ago. It was black and grey with a big white spade near the bottom.

As she was pulling the cloak around her shoulders, she noticed a small figure out of the corner of her eye. Whipping her head towards the bed, Amon saw a mechanical crow resting on the edge. It differed from the one she had seen with Crow earlier. “Um...hello? Were you watching me shower?”

Crow’s voice projected quietly from the bird’s beak. “Maybe. Although that wasn’t my intention.” Amon rolled her eyes. “I just got done for the day. What are you up to?”

“Gonna grab dinner with Shiro.” 

The drone was silent for a moment. “Oh, cool.” 

Amon pursed her lips. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing…”

“Crow. Don’t bullshit me.” 

“I was just thinking about the last time you went out with him.” 

Amon blushed. “You afraid I’m going to fuck him again or something?”

Crow laughed. “Afraid, no. Just disappointed that I don’t get to join.” 

“Wow, are you sexting me through a bird right now?” Amon grinned to herself. “Besides, apparently you can just watch.” 

“Don’t tempt me with a good time.” 

“I’m not tempting. I’m offering.” 

He thought about it for a moment. “You should probably get going.”

“Yeah, yeah. See you in a bit...maybe.” She winked at the bird.

“Just try not to blackout this time,” it called after her before departing out the window that she had unknowingly left open. Rolling her eyes, she walked back to the kitchen to find Shiro patiently waiting. 

“Ready? I’ve had to rez twice now due to starvation.” 

“Shut up, you’re an Exo.” Amon giggled, and he stood up to take her arm again. 

“Nice cloak,” he remarked as they left through the back and headed for the city. 

_  
  
_

\--------------

__  
  


They sat at a high table in a dimly lit bar. The decor was rather rustic; everything was wooden, candles in mason jars hung from the ceiling and sat in the center of the tables, and a local band played old jazz music on a small stage lined with red velvet curtains. The bar, called The Fox & Hound, was a popular spot for guardians to come and drink after a hard day's work. Amon was drinking a Cosmodrome Mule- her favorite- and Shiro sipped on a glass of straight whiskey, 'on the rocks'. He loved ordering it that way because he thought it made him sound smart and sophisticated, but Amon thought it was rather unnecessary. 

Shiro sat munching on potato wedges while Amon and the vodka she was drinking talked at him. Somehow they had broached the topic of their missions together during the SIVA crisis, and she was cracking herself up with stories of various mishaps they'd encountered. The alcohol in her system gave a slight flush to her cheeks, and Shiro couldn't help but think she looked quite pretty when she laughed. 

"Do you," she stammered between giggles, "remember that time I was trying to destroy a SIVA node, and I forgot I was holding my grenade launcher, and, and I blew myself up." She bursts into giggles and Shiro shook his head. 

"Yeah, that wasn't very funny to me." 

"And, and then I rezzed and, and when the Hive thrall came I panicked and punched a cursed one." Bursting into giggles again, Shiro couldn't help but share in her contagious laughter. 

"Speaking of Hive...what do you think about all that shit on the moon?"

Amon's eyes grew dark for a moment as memories flashed through her mind. Endless hive, Ghost's corruption, the Pit of Heresy. She waved a hand to dismiss his question. "Bah, Eris is handling that for now. I'm more concerned about this whole sundial fiasco right now." 

The Exo took another sip of whiskey, raising his brows. "That related to Saint-14 coming back?" 

She nodded, folding her arms on the table and leaning forward to talk in a low voice. "Yeah. Long story short, Osiris fucked up major. Ripped a hole in space-time trying to find Saint." 

"And you say they're just drinking buddies?" 

"Oh no, I don't say that," she scoffed. "Would you put the entire galaxy on the line just to have a drink with Andal or Cayde?" Shiro looked away and Amon regretted using them as her example. "Wait, I didn't mean it like that. You know I loved Cayde just as much as you did. I just mean-"

He put a finger to her lips to stop her. "It's ok, I know what you meant. I'd do almost anything for that, but no, I would not risk the survival of the entire galaxy. They wouldn't want me to, anyway." 

"Exactly," she said. "And the other day when I was talking to Saint about, uh…" she trailed off, embarrassed. 

"Bird troubles?"

"Sure, something like that. Anyways, he mentioned a lover and all but said outright that it was Osiris. And that is my spinfoil theory." 

Shiro chuckled. "Interesting theory." Their conversation was interrupted by whoops and hollers coming from a booth across the room. They looked over to see a titan release a warlock from a kiss. The titan grinned and ran a hand through her hair while their companions clapped the embarrassed Warlock on the back. The poor guy looked like he wanted to crawl in a hole, clearly not one for public displays of affection. 

"Ah, kinder-guardians," Shiro commented. Amon downed the rest of her drink and turned around to look at him. 

"That reminds me." She playfully kicked his feet under the table. Biting her lip, she raised her leg and brushed his crotch with her boot, making him jump. 

"By the Light, Wolf," he said, pushing her foot away. "Someone could have seen that." 

She ignored his critique, chalking it up to grumpiness. Amon hated when he acted all mature and serious. When he was relaxed, he sort of reminded her of Cayde- and she liked that. "You coming over tonight?" 

He stared at his drink. "Aren't you with Crow now?" 

Amon pursed her lips. "So you were eavesdropping after all."

"That isn't my point." He emptied his glass, frowning. "I need another drink. You?" 

Sighing, she slid her glass across the table and watched him walk off towards the bar, taking his empty basket of potato wedges with him. While he was gone, she thought about his question. Yes, she was with Crow. She loved him, of course. They may not have discussed semantics about the nature of their relationship yet, but Crow had seemed open to the idea of her sleeping with Shiro when they had talked earlier. Her thoughts were interrupted when Shiro returned and placed a fresh Cosmodrome Mule in front of her, which she thanked him for before sipping it happily. 

"Like I was saying. I don't want any trouble, Wolf." 

"We have a sort of-" Amon paused, swirling her drink with her straw. "-open relationship. If that's what you call it." 

"Sort of?"

Growing impatient, she flattened her palms against the table and stared into his eyes. "Shiro, do you want to fuck or not?" She asked through gritted teeth. If she were sober, she might have been more sympathetic to his concerns. 

"Please. You know the answer to that. I'm just trying to decide if I  _ should _ ." 

An idea suddenly prompted itself in her mind. “You know, you’re an excellent tracker.” She grinned up at him before taking another sip, letting the alcohol convince her that the idea wasn’t shit.

“Yeah...and?”

“I have to use the ladies room. Excuse me.” Amon slipped out of her chair, sauntering off towards the restrooms. She walked straight past the bathroom door, pushing open the heavy door guarding the back entrance and slipping quietly into the alleyway. 

Shiro sat alone at the table, an internal war waging between his morals his sexual urges. He silently cursed the hunter for being so irresistible, and himself for listening in on her conversation with Zavala. What he didn’t know couldn’t hurt him, right? Too late for that. Even if they had an ‘open relationship’, what if that changed? Shiro didn’t want to deal with a jealous partner. But he also hated the thought of letting her sleep alone that night. 

After a while, he became acutely aware that Amon was up to something, as she hadn’t returned yet. 

_ Dammit, now I’ve got a drunk hunter wandering the streets.  _

He wove his way through dancing guardians to reach the bathrooms, discreetly trying to listen in through the door to the women’s room. Picking up on light chatter projected in his direction, he stepped back from the wooden door just as it swung open and the titan from the booth stepped out, one of her companions following behind her. 

“Excuse me,” he said. “My uh...my friend seems to have disappeared. Was there anyone else in there?” 

The titan exchanged a glance with her friend. “No, sorry. Just us.” 

Nodding politely, he excused himself. “Thanks anyways.” As he headed towards the back exit, he heard them debating in whispers whether or not he was the hunter vanguard. 

Stepping into the cool night air, he parted his mouth plates to allow his olfactory sensors to examine the air. Resisting the urge to recoil, he filtered out the smells of cooking oil and old trash, searching for a particular smell. Finally, he picked up the scent of the lemon and sage soap she always smelled like- when she was clean- and followed it in the direction of the Tower. Shiro made sure to move quietly and casually so as not to rouse suspicion from any bystanders he might encounter, discreetly scanning the ground with his eyes. Coming to a stop in front of a shallow puddle, he noticed a trail of barely noticeable wet bootprints pointed in the direction of the main street that bisected the bar district. 

_ Shit. She went through the crowd.  _

He turned left and passed between two brick buildings, emerging into the street that was bustling with nightlife. Couples and groups of friends flitted between bars, some pausing in the middle of the street to chat or compare dance moves. He approached a trio of Warlocks stood on a corner, surely people-watching in the hopes of further inflating their fat heads. 

One of them looked up at him as he approached, turning to whisper something in the other's ear. The Warlock wore traditional mongolian looking robes, despite being a tall awoken with decidedly anglican features. A large tattoo covered the bottom half of his mouth and chin, and long blue dreadlocks were secured behind his head in a series of gold hair bands. Shiro internally sighed, wishing he had chosen someone else to pester with his company. 

"Shiro-4, temporary Hunter Vanguard. Fancy seeing you here." 

Shiro brushed off the comment. "You seen a hunter, about yay high-" he held his hand at his shoulder level to demonstrate -"with short hair?" 

The Warlock stared at him in disbelief. "You mean, have I seen 50% of all hunters?" 

"Right, sorry. Awoken, blue eyes, black hair, diamond marking on her forehead, dark armor and a black cloak with a big spade on it?" 

"Oh, you mean  _ her _ . Yes, she may have entered my field of view." 

The Exo was about to lose his patience when the shorter warlock beside him stepped forward. 

"She went that way," they said, pointing between a dance club and a liquor store. "Through that alleyway there." 

Shiro nodded and thanked them, rushing off in that direction before he could be dragged into any further conversation. Next time he would just access the camera feeds, but for now he was kind of enjoying the hunt, even if he would never admit it.

_ Where the hell is she going?  _

As he walked, Shiro pulled his yellow cloak over his head and listened in to the conversations happening around him. The Young Wolf was fairly well known so there was a chance that someone who had seen her go by might make a comment. Being an Exo meant he could adjust the various data inputs flooding his auditory sensors, turning down or muting sounds that weren't useful to him. 

"I heard that they're like, mute or something. So how do they communicate during missions?" 

"Idiot. They were literally just asking that guy for directions." 

"Well, whatever. They must be stupid or something to want to go out there. I wonder if they're even allowed out the gates?" 

The Exo tuned out, overcome by irritation and anxiety. He sincerely hoped that those guardians weren't talking about what he thought they were talking about. But, there was only one place he could think of. Dipping into the alley, he checked his belt to make sure Trespasser was still secured in its holster, signing in relief when he felt its familiar form beneath the leather. Shiro intensely regretted offering her a second drink, considering she had barely eaten anything and had a low tolerance anyways. However, she did seem to sober up fairly quickly, and he was banking on that being a common occurence so that she would at least have her wits about her if she did get lost out there. 

_ Out there, with the Fallen.  _

Shiro silently prayed to the Traveler that she had been armed with something. He pulled out his ID and flashed it towards one of the Guardians watching the Tower gate. They nodded to him as he passed, acting as natural and casual as possible. He doubted the Guardian was able to actually get outside- there was just no way they would have let a tipsy hunter through, especially at that hour. But nonetheless, he decided to check. Slipping behind one of the large concrete supports and out of view of the Guardians, he used his knife to pop open a vent several meters off the ground and climbed inside. Immediately, his olfactory sensors were flooded with lemon and sage, and he froze in confusion.

_ Did I tell her about this? I never told her about this. What the fuck… _

This vent connected to a maintenance shaft from which he could access all the ventilation systems of the Tower as well, and he often used it to sneak away when he got bored of paperwork. This particular passage, however, happened to lead straight to the outside. Well, only because he had dug a tunnel from it to a small ravine in the forest. The passageway was tiny, and the entrance was triple-locked and camouflaged. Fallen were too stupid to ever find it. Or so he told himself. He crawled his way through the narrow passage, cursing when he came to the doorway. All of the locks were busted and glowing orange with heat. 

_ She seriously used her Golden Gun to destroy my door? Asshole. _

Annoyed beyond words, Shiro pushed open the remains of his security efforts and pulled himself out into the forest. 


	23. 1 SIDED LOVE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amon faces actual consequences for her actions! Imagine that. Poor Shiro. He'll recover, eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I intend to keep things realistic. Realized I had unintentionally drifted a little too far into fantasy-world archetypes. But no worries, the characters are gonna be real people with normal emotions. IMHO Amon was on the verge of turning into one of those kinda bitchy, always gets what she wants, manic pixie dream girl, annoying characters that never face consequences for like...anything. Acting like a hormonal young adult, which is fine, but come on that's like every day of my actual life. Gross. Maybe I'm just being hard on myself. Or projecting. Feel free to let me know! 
> 
> Anyway, not my intention! And yes, if you're wondering about some loose ends...I.e., the Drifter, memory stuff, where the heck the Sundial slash major conflict and impending Red Legion Psion-Flare Armageddon has been(Oh, Guardian, what have you been up to?! Get to work!) I'm actually going to address those things ASAP. Promise. I've been waiting for this recent batch of seasonal developments to roll out. (The puzzle?! WTF) Things have been angsty, and it is high time for some adventure! So, hopefully I will finish up that stuff by the time we get the Empyrian foundation and Bastion. Ok, now I'm just rambling. If you are reading this, thank you for reading!! I'm mostly writing this fic for fun/for myself, but if someone else enjoys it then that's awesome!!! You rock.
> 
> Man, this is turning into a long fic. "Brevity is the soul of wit." Well what can I say, I want it all. The sex, the drugs, the rock-and-roll...just kidding. Sorta. The romance, the drama, the action, the adventure, the comedy, cute domestic moments, adventures with friends! Buckle up buttercups. We're writing a novel, apparently.

Once she had sobered up, Amon quickly realized that her idea had been decidedly puerile. Initially, the plan was to make him track her back to the apartment, but a discussion she overheard reminded her of one of her favorite spots in the forest outside of the City. It was a sacred place for her, one of familiarity and poignance- only recently had she discovered why, but that was something she would have to keep to herself. When Amon was newly risen she would often go there to practice with her light, testing her abilities and aim out on a large and impenetrable cliffside. Occasionally, she would test them out on stray Fallen as well.

Amon clutched her cloak tightly around her as she walked, an effort to keep out the cold that was already gnawing at her bones. She was careful to avoid deep snow, so as not to give Shiro too easy of a time, and when that was no longer possible she took to the trees. Ever the climber, she lept expertly and from tree to tree, silent save for the soft plunk of snow as it shook from the smaller branches. As she bounded towards her spot, she began to pick up a faint chittering coming from the direction of the cliff. It was almost drowned out by the sound of a nearby stream, but not quite. Ghost stayed silent within her head- he knew there was no point in trying to reason with the Guardian.

Approaching the area cautiously, the hunter stopped and squatted on a large branch that gave her vantage point a good view of the clearing below while still providing moderate cover. Her mask was dark-colored as well and should have blended in with the forest so long as the moonlight didn’t catch on the metal. Amon peered into the clearing and immediately found the source of the chatter. A Fallen Captain paced in the center of the clearing while several Dregs- ten, she counted- kept watch by the bank of the stream. Two Vandals were speaking at the Captain who seemed not to care what either had to say. 

_Damn Fallen, tainting my space with their filth. I knew I should have set up a hunting camera._

Dying internally, Amon tried to ignore her frustration and formulate a course of action. She simply could not allow those Fallen to stay there. Without realizing it, she had leaned forward slightly out of the cover of the tree. The moon had in fact reflected off of the smooth metal alloy comprising her mask, catching the eye of a Dreg who proceeded to screech and wave its gun like an incompetent hellspawn. 

The Captain activated his arc-shield as he turned to look at her, jeering and lifting his gun overhead. The Vandals took aim from either side of him, peppering the treeline with arc bolts. One of them struck and broke the branch she had perched on, and she dropped into the snow barely managing to land on her feet. The Dregs- who were slow to action- finally took up arms to shoot at the guardian, using one another as cover in their cowardice. 

She flung a grenade in their general direction before flinging a knife at each of the Vandals. Both blades hit their marks, and the Captain bellowed in rage as he began to shoot at her. Amon dodged behind a tree, cursing herself for not bringing a gun. Live rounds would have made this much easier. Cloaking herself, she snuck over to the Captain and retrieved her knives before darting back out of the clearing. The Dregs ran around like headless chickens in search of her, while the Captain paced around his dead Vandals and yelled at them all. 

His apparent battle cry must have worked because just as she was preparing to make her next move, a second Captain emerged from beyond the stream with ten to twenty more Dregs in tow. Now she would really have to strategize and try to group them all together. Amon continued to watch silently from the safety of her cloaking tech, knowing that as soon as she moved again it would deactivate. The second Captain approached the first and they began conversing in Eliksni, ordering the Dregs to rally around them. Amon struggled to suppress a laugh.

_Idiots, you just dug your own grave._

Breaking free from cover, the Fallen only had a moment to register her reappearance before an arc staff began ripping through their small crowd. She sliced through the combatants with ease, instantly taking down the Captains’ shields and cutting them to shreds. Ether flew out and trailed behind her as she decimated the group. A lone Dreg escaped and was getting the hell out of dodge, but she chased it to the treeline and silenced the poor creature right before her super ran out. 

Someone began clapping, and Amon twirled around to find Shiro admiring her wake of carnage. “How long have you been watching?” she asked. 

The Exo shrugged, chuckling. “Long enough to see you fall out of that tree.”

If looks could kill, Shiro-4 would have died his final death. “And you didn’t think to help an unarmed ally?”

“If I thought you were in any real danger, I would have helped. Clearly, that wasn’t necessary.” 

“Asshole.” 

“What can I say, Wolf- you put on a good show.” Shiro had seen her in action plenty of times but was still awestruck every time he saw her let loose. Something about an unhinged woman was incredibly hot. Amon stomped over to the cliffside, sighing as she slid down to sit against it. Shiro followed her over, crunching through the snow and settling down beside her. “So what exactly was your reasoning behind all this?” 

“Well, I was just gonna make you chase me back to the apartment...but I got distracted and came here instead.” 

“...a random clearing in the forest, swarming with Fallen?”

Amon shook her head and reached above her head to pat the rock. “Not just any clearing. It’s my old practice spot. I still come here to get away from time to time.” 

Shiro examined the stone, trailing his eyes over the smattering of scratches, indentations, and burn marks that covered its surface. Countless supers, grenades, and weapons had been tested against the worn edifice. “I see,” he said, glancing over at her. “Sometimes I forget how young you are.” 

“Ok, geezer,” she scoffed. “That an issue?” 

“No, it isn’t. Just adds to your mystery.” 

She cocked her head to the side, peering at him quizzically. “My ‘mystery’?” 

“You do realize that in all our time at the Iron Temple, you only spoke to me once? Pretty damn mysterious, if you ask me.”

Amon hadn’t thought about that. She had still communicated with people then, albeit not with words, so she often forgot to consider how odd it must have been for everyone except herself. “Right, forgot that detail.” 

“Do you remember what you said?” She shook her head at him. “It was after you got back from one of the first few missions. We rendezvoused at the temple, and you were pissed as hell. ‘Thanks for the cover, asshole.’ That was the first and last time you ever spoke to me.” 

The pair shared a laugh, and Amon apologized. “You probably deserved it, though, if I was actually driven to speak up.”

“Yeah. I promised you air support and never delivered. My bad.” 

She stared up at the sky, smiling as she spotted her favorite constellation, Cetus, and tracing it with her finger. Shiro asked her why she liked that one, and she told him that it was because it looked funny. He was not impressed by her lack of intellectual application. They sat there pointing out different constellations to one another, debating about what they really looked like and arguing over whether or not Aquarius looked more like a headless corpse or a poorly constructed tent. 

When the conversation faded away, Amon turned to look at Shiro. “Have you ever been in love?”

Shiro stared ahead, deadpan. “No. Why do you ask?” 

“Just curious. Have you ever been...in like with someone? If you know what I mean.” 

“If you wanted to play truth or dare as school kids do, you could have just asked.” 

Amon frowned. She hadn’t actually wanted to play. At least, not _that_ kind of game. But now that Shiro had lit the spark of indignation simmering in her chest, she had to indulge for the sake of it. In her mind the game was appropriate and fun for all ages, and nothing to be ashamed of enjoying. “Fine. Do you want to?” 

“Not particularly, but I can tell that you do. Ask away.”

“First, that isn’t how this works. Second, I already asked!”

“Fine, fine,” the Exo sighed and uncrossed his ankles to sit up a little straighter. He decided not to bring up the fact that he hadn’t received a choice between truth or dare, as it would have been petty. “I have, but I’m not getting into details.” He made sure to cut her off before she could pester him for more information. 

Shiro didn’t even understand his own feelings, and he certainly wasn’t about to admit to her that they existed. He still could hardly believe it himself, with him being known as a non committal loner and all. Ever since they had started working together several years ago, something about the Guardian had drawn him in. At first he hadn’t understood what Cayde saw in Amon- sure, she was physically attractive, but the girl was even more closed off than Commander Zavala, as far as he had seen at the time. However, he found himself feeling genuinely worried for her during their missions, and after that one time she had spoken to him, Shiro knew he would never be able to look at her the same way again.

“Your turn,” he said, breaking free from his thoughts. It was never going to happen, so he best not become further attached. 

“Truth.”

Shiro thought for a moment, trying to formulate a question that would both glean him pertinent information and irritate her. The Young Wolf was adorable when she was pissed. “Why are you working with the Drifter?” He knew he was treading on thin ice with that one, what with the Drifter being investigated and all, but wasn't interested in snitching and legitimately wanted to know her motives. 

She stiffened beside him, confirming his assumption. “How do you know about that?” Amon glared at him through her helmet but he remained silent, waiting for her answer. “I changed my mind, I want a dare. I mean shit, dude, you’re the Hunter Vanguard. I’ve already got Aunor up my ass.”

“No can do, Lord Guardian. But your secret is safe with me, so long as I find no pressing moral obligations to report you.” 

She thought for a moment, debating whether or not he could be trusted. Shiro was an assassin, after all- if he had any intention of taking her down it would have happened the moment she stepped foot in the Tower. “Fine, I’ll answer on one condition: never call me Lord Guardian again.” Shiro laughed and agreed not to, prompting her to continue. “There are several reasons. For one, he’s a kit-basher and a collector on par with myself. Naturally, I went easy on him.”

“So that’s why you tried so hard to buy Trespasser off of me. Should have kissed my ass more.” 

Amon rolled her eyes at the Exo, even though he couldn’t see. He noticed an edge to her voice that made her seem slightly impatient, but couldn’t guess why. “Anyways. We hit it off. He’s cunning, he’s creative, and he understands the Darkness better than anyone I’ve met. Even Eris. Eli is an invaluable ally because of that. I’m doing whatever it takes to win, even if it means mixing up my light. If I’m stronger because of it, then that’s a move I’m willing to make. And that, my friend, is all I will discuss regarding the matter.” 

A deluge of questions accosted Shiro’s mind, but she had respected his boundaries and he would have to do the same. Besides, he did understand her fears about discussing matters that weren’t exactly straight-edge with her senior officer. Another time, perhaps. “Truth.”

“Are you really going to commit to being the Hunter Vanguard?”

Shiro let out a deep sigh and rested his head against the wall to look up at the stars. “Somebody has to do it. And who else is there, anyways. Crow?” he laughed sarcastically. “No chance in hell I’m letting that peacock fill Cayde’s shoes.”

Amon bristled defensively. “Don’t talk about him like that. There’s no reason to be a douche.”

“Don’t talk about him like what- like he murdered Cayde?”

“Uldren murdered Cayde. Crow isn’t him.” She tried to keep her voice level. A brawl was not exactly what she’d had in mind for the night. 

“Right,” he said, rolling his eyes in mock agreement. “What do you see in the guy anyways?” 

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. Do you actually like him, or is he just a shiny, taboo, collectible... _thing_ , for you to entertain yourself with?” Shiro knew he needed to stop, but his emotions were flying out like a ship without a pilot at that point.

Her eyes were burning with anger, fury hardly hidden by her mask. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” she growled.

“Oh, come on. Hivebane, Hero of the Red War, Savior of the Reef- when you can kill a God, you’re bound to get bored. Surprised you’ve only just now found a new pet, after the last two. What were their names-”

Amon cut him off with a hard slap. She ripped off her mask and straddled the Exo, pinning him down beneath her. Shiro knew he had seriously fucked up; arc-light was pulsed and crackled over her skin, literally igniting her with stinging blue rage.

“How dare you.” Her voice came out as a strained whisper.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.” Shiro rushed out an apology, trying to assess ways to de-escalate the situation he had put himself in. 

“Is that really what you think of me? That I’m just some arrogant, perpetually bored demi-god who sees people as toys?” Amon was on the verge of tears as an electrical storm of emotions ransacked her body.

“No, it isn’t. I said that because I was angry at you, not because I think that it's true. I know you’re not like that.”

“And what did I do to deserve your anger? I haven’t even done anything abnormal.” Her fury was reaching a crescendo, and Shiro was seriously concerned. Apparently his combat skills did not translate to backing out of metaphorical corners. 

“That’s just it, Wolf. You aren’t normal. You have this...this fucking affect on things.” Shiro cursed himself internally. He shouldn’t have been saying any of that shit. “It just sucks to see you with _him_.”

She let out a shrill laugh. “So, what? You’re jealous now? You seemed perfectly fine sharing me the last time.” 

“I was just thankful I got to have you at all!”

“‘Have’ me? I’m not a fucking object, Shiro.” Amon tried not to show the hurt she was feeling.

“Shit, I know that. You’re far fucking from it, that’s my whole point.”

Confusion dampened her fury and the bolts of electricity arcing across her body began to recede. “What are you saying-”

“I care about you, Amon! Fuck. I really do.” Shiro wanted desperately to weld his mouth shut before things went any further, and wondered if he had drank more than he originally thought. Amon sat back and stared at him, brows furrowed in a mixture of shock and bemusement. “Look, I’m not- I’m not trying to make you the bad guy, ok? I don’t expect anything from you. Don’t worry about hurting my feelings or anything.” Part of him hoped that she would disagree, that she would tell him to stop, that she felt the same way. He made sure to obliterate that thought as soon as it popped up. 

“I...don’t know what to say.” She started crying when she finally spoke. 

“Shit, please don’t cry.” Shiro resisted the urge to reach out and wipe her tears, afraid that he might set her off again. 

“I’m a horrible person. I’ve been leading you on and now I’m just going to disappoint you. I’m so sorry.” 

“Woah, back up. This isn’t your fault, you didn’t ask me to care, and-”

He was cut off by a loud sob. “I hate myself. I’m supposed to be this protector, but all I do is hurt the people around me.” Amon slumped forwards and buried her face in his shoulder, and he reached an arm around to rub her back and try to soothe her. The floodgates were opened once more- this time without the help of her recurring nightmare- and she could feel herself beginning to shut down. 

“That’s not true. Not true at all.” Shiro spoke softly. In a weird way, her breakdown was comforting. To him it was confirmation that underneath it all she really was just a human being, like everyone else. Holding her like this while she cried- Shiro hadn’t felt this connected to someone in a very long time. Suddenly as if reading his thoughts, she went stiff and silent, pulling herself up and staring blankly at his chest. “Wolf?” He waited for her to move, but even here eyes were catatonic. “Hey, stop. None of that silent shit. I may have put up with it back then but I’m not going to again.”

Still no response. He panicked and shook her lightly, scrambling to think of a way to bring her back to reality. “Ask me another question.” Shiro knew it was a stupid idea, but felt compelled to try. Color slowly crept back to her cheeks and she began to blink. He sighed in relief, relaxing his arms and letting him fall to his sides. An ache was spreading through his back- he would need to move soon, or at least adjust his posture. “There she is. You’re safe, Wolf. Ask me anything.” 

Amon’s head was still fuzzy as she returned from her dissociative state, and she blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “Do Exos poop after they eat?” 

“What?” Shiro was not expecting that to be the first thing on her mind after such an intense ten minutes. 

Her energy was quickly coming back to her and she doubled-down on her statement. “Come on, it’s a valid question. Where does the food go? I have to know.” Amon was dead serious and refused to let the opportunity to get an answer to such an important question go to waste. 

“There’s an incinerator. In our body cavity. Did you seriously think…?”

“Oh. Never considered that. Clever.” She blushed, feeling stupid for asking such a thing. Amon awkwardly looked away from the amused Exo, recognizing that she was still angry with him for derailing her plans. “If we’re still going then, uh, truth.” The edge had involuntarily returned to her voice.

May as well pick up where they left off, Shiro concluded, failing to take not of her renewed irritation. “Do Awoken poop?” Amon punched his leg and Shiro burst out laughing. “Sorry, sorry.” He watched as she shivered and yanked her cloak around her body, realizing that she must have been freezing. “We should head back before you-”

“No, that won’t be necessary,” she snapped at him. 

“Relax, I was just concerned.” A sense of impending doom swelled in his chest upon the return of her anger. 

“Well don’t be.”

Shiro looked at her incredulously, failing to control his own reaction. “Wonderful, just wonderful. What's the problem this time, Wolf?” 

“You said it yourself earlier, I can look after myself.” Amon refused to meet his eyes. 

“I don’t want to argue,” she pouted. Why was she pouting? 

“Then what do you want?” 

“Fuck, Shiro, why can't you just be predictable!” She yelled at him, causing him to bristle defensively.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Shiro was about to short-circuit from confusion, his vents working double-time to keep him from literally boiling over. 

“Men are so obtuse,” Amon muttered to herself. While the Exo silently seethed, she angrily poked holes in the snow next to his thigh with her finger. After a minute she grew impatient once again, tightening the hold her legs had on his waist and shooting daggers into him with her gaze. His eyes flashed with realization, and he started to laugh in disbelief. 

“Holy shit, seriously? You’re all bent up now because I haven’t made a move?”

“You said you wanted to! And I thought it would be more exciting if-”

“If I chased you around while you acted like a child and then fought until we wanted to kill each other?” 

Amon dug her nails into the leather covering is biceps. “Fighting wasn't on _my_ agenda. You crossed the line first. And Truth or Dare isn’t childish, people of all ages can enjoy it!” 

“Great. I’m so glad you've invited me to argue about party games in the middle of the night in the freezing cold, outside of the city where Fallen could ambush us at any time.”

“Fuck you, Shiro,” she spat.

“Isn’t that what you wanted?” he taunted and her eyes flashed with a fresh wave of anger. They sat there and fumed at each other, their rage practically melting the snow around them. Shiro was burning up in his armor from the toxic mixture of indignation and desire. He wanted so badly to lash out at her but couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that the Amon was close enough to smell, to taste. She was right in front of him, directly within his reach. Literally sitting in his lap. The sweet scent of her warm breath and damp skin flooded his olfactory sensors, and despite the events of the past half-hour Shiro found her to be devastatingly irresistible in that moment.

They both moved at the same time, faces meeting in the middle as they press their mouths together. Amon had never actually kissed an Exo before. It was definitely a weird sensation, seeing as they had no lips, but not entirely unpleasant. He shifted his leg so that he could sit forward and properly brace his back against the wall, causing her to pull her own leg in between his hips so that she was straddling his other thigh. Eventually, and thanks to his guidance, she figured out the mechanics of it all and they settled into a semi-normal rhythm. She wagered Shiro had experience when it came to the logistics of kissing without having actual lips, and she was right. 

Shiro's hands roamed up and down her body, gripping her ass through the fabric of her greaves before sliding back up to her waist, sparking a tingle of excitement between her legs with every touch. He lifted the leg underneath her slightly to press into her, and she gasped from the sudden slight pressure. Gripping his arms tightly, she began to gently grind herself against the armor plate covering his thigh. Their mouths continued to dance in a biosynthetic melody, the Exo even going so far as to bite down on her lip. Amon squealed when she felt something like a tongue nudge its way into her mouth, and she pulled away slightly to look at him. 

"I didn't think you had one of those," she remarked. 

"Didn't think to ask how I tasted or swallowed the food I was eating, either?" He responded in a teasing manner. 

Instead of dwelling on her own lack of insight, Amon reconnected her lips with his mouth plates, and Shiro offered no protest. They kissed each other with renewed vigor, and she resumed her movements against his leg. Attempting to run a hand through her hair, Shiro found his fingers caught near the back of her head by a band of fabric. He pulled it off, careful not to hurt her, and was shocked to feel her hair cascading down to her chin. 

"When did this happen," he murmured between kisses. 

"My hair grows fast," she rasped against his mouth and began to grind herself down a little bit faster. They continued this way until her breathing picked up and she pulled away, pressing her forehead against his while soft noises spilled from her parted lips. Her hands dug into his arms with such force that if he had been human he surely would have bruised- perhaps she may have even broken the skin- but his Exo body allowed her to squeeze with as tightly as she needed in order to steady herself. Shiro shifted his leg up ever so slightly and she whimpered, squeezing her eyes shut and then re-opening them to stare into his. He grabbed her hips to push her down against him even harder, and her breath hitched in her throat before devolving into labored exhales as she climaxed against him. 

Shiro twitched as he listened to her, painfully aroused. He had refrained from indulging himself, opting instead to let her enjoy herself so that he could admire the sounds and expressions of pleasure she made, knowing that there was a possibility he might never witness them in person again. Shiro had never understood the concept of open relationships and knew better than to get his hopes up. She and Crow seemed to have a connection that went beyond usual fireteam bonds, let alone romantic ones. Kissing her softly, he lingered in the moment as long as he could to memorize the feel of her lips, the curve of her spine, the unique and terrifyingly strong frequency of light that radiated from her and all but consumed his own.

"Fuck, its cold," she said between still shaky breaths. 

"You don't say." Shiro removed a glove and pressed the back of is hand to her forehead. Her skin felt colder than ice, and if they didn't leave soon she could start to get frostbite. "We should head back." He wrapped an arm around her back to hold her still while he stood up, placing her upright onto her feet in front of him. 

"But you-"

"Don't worry about me," he said, cutting her off. "Besides, we're just relocating." He tossed her a wink and she grinned back at him before bending over to pick up her helmet and securing it to her head.

Soon after they started the trek back through the forest, Amon stopped in her tracks without notice, and Shiro narrowly avoided running into the smaller hunter. "Are you mad at me?" When Shiro didn't answer, she elaborated. "For being a bitch, I mean. Because I'm sorry. I was acting like a foolish child- I don't know what came over me." 

Shiro placed a comforting hand on her shoulder-plate, nudging her to keep moving along. "No, I'm not mad. But I appreciate your apology. I was a major asshole to you, too. Although, you totally owe me for using a super on my door." 

"Oh, right...sorry," she muttered. When they made it back to the hidden entrance to the tunnel Shiro sent her along first, instructing Amon to grab a welding torch out of a storage box in the maintenance shaft and bring it back to him. He kept it there for emergencies, and also for situations like the current one that he couldn't have even guessed at. She handed off the tool and he made quick work sealing then exit shut, almost forgetting to tell her to turn around and close her eyes. If she went blind her ghost could just heal her, but it would have been a rather painful ordeal. 

As they exited the tunnel and re-entered the City, Amon’s ghost appeared with an incoming message. 

“Guardian, Crow is requesting to open a communication channel.” She gave him the go-ahead and Crow’s voice flowed out of the tiny AI. 

“You back at the Tower yet?” He asked.

“Headed there now. Why, what’s up?” Amon was perplexed as to why he was calling her at three in the morning. 

“I may or may not be in the Courtyard. Shaxx is giving me the stink eye, could use some back up.” 

“Alright. Babysitter’ll be there asap,” she responded, laughing. She could practically hear him pouting on the other end of the line. 

“Just hurry. Its seriously awkward.” Crow closed the line, and Amon turned to Shiro who was lingering awkwardly and cleaning off his hand cannon. 

“So, um, duty calls…” she trailed off, starting to feel guilty. Shiro holstered the weapon and looked up at her. 

“Yeah, of course. I actually have to run an errand in the City, I trust you can get back on your own?” Shiro wanted to be anywhere in the solar system other than right there, having that conversation. She nodded and he began to leave, but stopped to say one more thing. “About earlier...I think it will be best if we keep things platonic from here on out.” He hated that things had to be that way but didn’t trust himself to keep cool if they kept hooking up. After all, he couldn’t afford to be caught up in such feelings now that he was taking on Vanguard duties. 

“Yeah, I think so too.” They stared at each other for a moment before he finally turned to leave. Shiro only made it a few steps before Amon grabbed his arm to halt his departure. “Thanks for putting up with me, by the way. You’re a good friend, Shiro.” 

Looking over his shoulder, he did his best to smile. He appreciated her words, and was relieved that she still considered them friends. “You too, Wolf.” 

\-----------------

Amon entered the courtyard and saw Crow leaning against the railing in front of the Obelisk. She ran up to him and jumped onto his side, sending them both tumbling to the ground while Crow yelped in surprise. She rolled off of him, giggling as he rubbed the shoulder that had taken the brunt of the fall. 

“Nice greeting. You sure you’re not a titan?” 

“Now that you mention it, I did learn how to shoulder charge once upon a time.” She grinned devilishly at him, and he put his hands up protectively. 

“Pipe down, smalls. No need for a demonstration.”

They both jumped when a booming voice called out across the courtyard. “I wanna see that back in the Crucible!” Shaxx bellowed. Uldren cast a nervous glance at her, probably regretting removing his helmet in front of the titan. Amon stood up and grabbed his hand, dragging him over in the direction of the Crucible handler once he got to his feet. Shaxx studied Crow as the pair approached. “Hey,” he laughed, “you look like you need training, Guardian.” 

“Now that you mention it, I don’t think he’s ever been in the Crucible.”

Shaxx clapped his hands together. “Superb! No better time to gear up.”

“It’s three in the morning, Shaxx.” She raised an eyebrow at him. Crow cowered behind her, straining to put on a poker face despite being much closer in height with Lord Shaxx than she was. 

“The Crucible never sleeps. I trust you’re prepared, Hive slayer.” He stood with his hands on his hips, and Amon was half tempted to take up the offer and throw them into a match for the hell of it. However, it was late, she was physically exhausted and emotionally drained, and Crow certainly wasn’t jumping at the notion either. 

“Soon, I promise. For now, I’ve got some business to attend to in the morning.”

Shaxx sighed, the force of his disappointment nearly rattling their armor. “You’ll know where to find me. See you, Hivebane. And you,” he said, turning to face Crow. “You think you’re good enough?”

Crow gulped nervously. The poor guy was shaking in his boots. “Yeah…?” he choked out.

“Solid. Honor is earned. The Crucible awaits you, Guardian.” 

Amon bit her tongue as they walked away, before breaking out into a fit of giggles. “Oh my god, the look on your face. I thought you were going to wet yourself.” 

Crow frowned and picked up the pace, desperate to escape. “He’s intimidating, ok?” 

“You’ll get used to it. Or you won’t. Who knows,” she laughed, linking her arm through his and intertwining their fingers. He paused to let her, and she took the opportunity to reach up on her toes and plant a kiss on the side of his cheek. “Come on grumpy, I need to sleep.” As they walked back, their ghosts chattered with one another as if they didn’t have the ability to communicate virtually whenever they wanted, and Amon was reminded of when they made that same journey several months ago. 

  
_Oh, how things have changed,_ she thought, and felt content with the present for the first time in weeks.


	24. Headaches and Hexagons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amon's perspective on the community puzzle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Imagine walking in on your own funeral. I have existential crises without all that shit.....god damn.

Amon sat up straight, arching her back and rolling her tense shoulders to try and relieve some of the crampings. The wooden chair she had been provided with wasn't exactly helping with her physical discomfort. A droplet of sweat began to roll down the side of her face and she wiped it away with the back of her hand, only just then realizing how hot the room had become. Or maybe it was just her. She transmatted her chest armor away so that only her black undersuit covered her torso, instantly relieving some of the heat. A canteen of water was placed down in front of her and she chugged it greedily while a pair of strong hands found their way to her shoulders and began to work on the knots in her muscles. 

When the canteen was empty she sat it down, letting out a refreshed 'ahh' and lolled her head backward to look up at her masseuse. "Thank you," she sighed. 

Crow's amber eyes gazed back at her. "Of course. How's the cipher coming along?"

Pulling herself forward, she tried to sit up and examine the maze displayed on the screens in front of her, but Crow stopped her movement and eased her back. "Stop. You can rest for a few minutes. When was the last time you slept?" 

She sighed. When  _ was  _ the last time she slept? Maybe it was two days ago...or three. Ghost had, not without protest, been keeping her artificially rested. Although, that only lasted so long. A week at most, and that was pushing it. 

"I'm fine," she said, giving him a half-assed grin. 

She had been working tirelessly for the last week, ever since Osiris had first received a series of strange coded messages from his obelisks. They ended up, as Amon had discovered, revealing a pathway through the Infinite Forest that leads to a room with a small grave in the center. She had first tried to approach the grave, only to be teleported back to the room's entrance. However, she happened to glance down during her third attempt to reach the coffin and discovered a large hexagonal structure displaying groupings of the same symbols Osiris had received from the Obelisks. On a hunch, she retraced her steps with Crow in tow and discovered that the pattern shown to him was different than the one she saw. 

After that Epiphany, Ikora Rey had helped her recruit as many fireteams as were willing to follow that same path and record their individual symbols to send back to Ikora and a team of Warlocks working to decipher the mystery. Amon was not usually one for puzzle solving, but had been dragged into the fray since, according to everyone else, she had a personal history of "being instrumental in these sorts of things." It was moments like that when she truly hated being  _ the _ Guardian and wondered why she had been chosen, why she couldn’t have just been a normal, non-essential player in whatever cosmic game of chess existence had become. Alas, that was not her reality, and so she had sat in front of those monitors day-in and day-out organizing all the pieces into what she now believed to be some sort of maze or map. 

The flow of data had been nearly endless ever since they realized that the symbols were changing on the hour. Thankfully word about the great mystery had spread like wildfire, inspiring new and old guardians alike to venture into the forest and provide their own pieces of the puzzle. Amon, Ikora, and the rest of the group had fallen into a semi-efficient pattern, working as an assembly line to catalog, sort through, organize, and compile all of the different maps so that Amon could work on fitting them into the bigger picture. She still wasn’t quite sure how or why she had been given such an important role but gave it her all anyway. 

“Oh, yeah. It’s all coming together. I think. Unless I’m looking at all of this wrong.” She pinched her eyes together as the weight of her responsibility hit her once again. What if she did all this work, only to find that she had screwed up or went about it the completely wrong way?

“I don’t think you would have made it this far if you weren’t solving it correctly,” Crow said, leaning down to plant a kiss on her shoulder. “You’re doing a great job,” he mumbled into the hair tucked behind her ear.

“But what is the point? I feel like I’ve just dragged everyone into my weird obsession with whatever is in that casket. I don’t even know why I have to know.” 

“Well, isn’t that the nature of any mystery?” 

Amon leaned her head into his. He had made a valid point, but she still couldn’t get over the fear of whatever lie at the end of all this. Worse yet, the lack of anything that they might find. She would just have to continue working and hope for the best. Crow stood up and removed his hands from her shoulders as Ikora entered the office and approached them. 

“We’ve started running into more duplicates than unique codes. I believe we are nearing the end of all this,” Ikora said, pausing to once-over the exhausted hunter. Her eyes filled with concern. “How is your progress? I can handle things for a while if you need to rest.” 

Sitting up straight, Amon beckoned Ikora over to look at the maze she had put together. She pointed out numerous gaps in the rectangular formation. “These are the only pieces missing data. Once those are filled in, I can start trying to map out a route.” 

Ikora nodded in approval, proud and once again blown away by Amon’s ability to adapt to every obstacle they faced. Whenever Ikora heard Saint-14 rambling on about how the Guardian was surely a divine entity, a small part of her wanted to agree with him. Instances like the present one made it even more difficult not to believe in Saint’s enticing and grandiose postulation. 

“Excellent. I’ve just sent Lord Shaxx and Commander Zavala on a mission to collect sustenance for us all- I will make sure he brings enough for you as well. 

Amon raised her eyebrows at the warlock. “You seriously convinced Zavala to play errand-boy?”

“There are only two things Zavala is afraid of. I am one of them.” Ikora chuckled to herself, turning to go check on the other warlocks, and Amon called after her curiously. 

“What’s the second thing?” 

Ikora paused, unsure if she should reveal the Commander’s private fears or not. She looked straight forward when she answered, facing away from the Guardian. 

“You.” 

Frowning, Amon asked herself if she had heard Ikora correctly. If so, she wasn’t quite sure how to feel about that. Why would Zavala be afraid of her instead of, say, the literal fucking Darkness? 

“Smart man,” Crow mumbled from behind her. Amon spun around in her chair to gape at him. 

“Am I really that scary? Geez.”

He looked down at his feet. “Well, your influence certainly is. If we didn’t have you standing between us and the Darkness…” he trailed off, shuddering. “Who would have defeated Crota if not you, Amon?” 

She didn’t have an answer and was perturbed by that fact, as well as the fact that the entire weight of the solar system and of human existence was seemingly on her shoulders. Shaking her head slightly, she decided to lose sleep over that notion some other time. 

“I should get back to work,” she said. “You can stay if you want, but I do need to focus.” Amon almost felt bad for dismissing him, but she was beyond ready to have the mystery solved and done with, and knew she would not be able to concentrate properly if his presence was tempting her. To her chagrin, he made himself comfortable on top of a short file cabinet in the corner of the room. She was contemplating telling him to leave when Kajika, one of the Warlocks she had been working with, entered the room. 

“Waya,” she exclaimed, “we’ve been matching dupes for the past hour. I’ve just sent the last of the unique pieces to you. We’ll keep checking, of course, but that should be it.” Kajika was moving her arms about manically as she talked, her eyes flitting over to the figure in the corner once she stopped. “Ah, hello goh-gun.”*

*Waya(wahya)- wolf, Go-gun(go-gv)- crow;  _ Cherokee(Tsalagi) _

Crow returned the greeting, and they engaged in light conversation for several minutes while Amon pulled the data Kajika had sent her. As the two intruders argued about sniper-rifle perks, she began quickly connecting the remaining pieces together. Amon only needed two more areas on the map filled. She bit her tongue as the last piece fit into place. Now was the real task- mapping a route through this thousand-piece maze. 

“Kajika, Crow,” she called out. The pair stopped arguing and looked over at her. “I need you to be quiet. I’m almost done.” 

“No way!” Kajika exclaimed, moving behind Amon to watch as she began tracing a path. Crow joined her, placing a hand on Amon’s shoulder and watching intently. It did not take long to find the route, and Amon began frantically transcribing each symbol the line passed through.

_ Clover, diamond, snake, clover, plus, plus, hex, hex, hex, plus, diamond, plus, snake, diamond, clover, snake, plus, plus, snake, snake, hex, diamond, clover, plus, diamond, hex, hex, diamond, plus, diamond. _

“Holy shit,” they all said at once. Amon sat back and rubbed her temples, stalled by shock as she contemplated her next move. The room was silent as she stood and transmatted her armor back onto her person.

“Ghost, get the ship ready.” 

“Guardian, shouldn’t we alert Ikora?” Ghost responded. 

Crow grabbed her arm as she began to leave the room. “Hold on a minute, I’m coming with you,” he said, darting back to the corner where he had left his rifle. 

“Wait, I want to come too!” Kajika said, chasing after Amon and her poor Ghost who was muttering indecisively to himself. 

Amon threw open the door and ran right into Ikora, nearly sending them both onto the floor. Unfortunately, the sack of food Ikora was carrying was not so lucky, the smell of tomatoes filling the room as orange soup burst into a puddle on the floor. “Shit, sorry,” she muttered. 

“What’s going on? Have you finished the map?” Ikora asked, ignoring the mess. 

“Yes, and we’re going-” Crow started, before being cut off by Amon.

“I’m going first. Alone.” 

“Guardian,” Ikora began, “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.” 

“We don’t know what is at the end of this thing. It could be a trap. What if something inconceivable is waiting? It’s too risky. I have to go alone.” 

“That’s precisely why you  _ can’t _ go alone, Amon. You could die.” Crow said.

She turned to face him. “If there is something dangerous in there...well, you said it yourself. If I can’t kill it, then who? We’re doomed anyways, if that’s the case.” 

Ikora looked between the two in confusion while Kajika pouted and went to fetch a sweeper-bot to clean up the spilled soup. 

“Crow, she does have a point…” Pulled Pork said, surprising them all. “Man, Ghost is so brave!” Crow sighed in exasperation as the two women snorted. 

“Ghost, brave...that’s a new one.” Amon chuckled. Ghost glared at her with his one eye. 

“Hmph. A little appreciation would be nice,” he said.

“Shh, little light,” Amon replied, adding to his annoyance by using his least-favorite pet name. “Let’s go.” She shoved past Ikora, leaving her and Crow behind. 

“Guardian, wait!” Ikora started to go after her but stopped, cursing to herself. “Be careful!” She called out.

Crow, determined not to be left behind, chased after her, finally catching up to Amon as they entered the hangar. Saint watched the pair from afar, unaware of the situation. 

“Come on, babe, I can’t let you do this alone.” 

Amon felt a flutter in her chest at the use of the pet name. She wanted to question him about his sudden usage of the word, but that would have to wait. Flustered, she placed her hand on his chest and pushed against him gently, not forcing him away yet. 

“Yes, you can. If something happens…” she trailed off, suddenly aware of her growing anxiety. “I can’t lose you. Especially not over whatever this is.” 

Understanding, Crow placed his hand over hers and squeezed it. “Ok. Just keep your comms open, please.” He barely fought the urge to follow her as she walked away from him, remembering the last time she had left him behind and feeling depressed. 

When Amon’s ship departed, Saint walked over to comfort the distraught hunter and to ask him what was going on.

*******

_ I made it. _

Amon entered the timelost vault and approached the tomb warily, waiting for some Vex abomination to jump out of the white abyss. Gripping her Ace tightly, she inched closer to the center of the room, finally getting a good look at it. A shiver ran down her spine as she scanned over the ghost shell lying at the hilt of the sword that had been laid on top of the stone coffin. 

“Guardian, that’s...that’s my old shell.” Ghost whispered, hovering close to her ear. 

She stumbled back, cocking her gun as a voice boomed at them, coming from nowhere and everywhere at once. Amon swiveled around frantically with her gun trying to find the source as the voice began to speak.

“Thank you for coming. We’ve gathered here today to celebrate the life of my mentor. My inspiration,” the voice echoed. 

“That voice,” Ghost started, “it belongs to Saint!”

Saint- well, a voice that sounded exactly like Saint- continued. “They called her Crota’s End. The Hivebane. Kingslayer. The Young Wolf. The woman who avenged Cayde-6. She had a hundred titles I cannot recall.”

“Guardian, he’s talking about you…” Ghost trailed off, confused, and Amon lowered her weapon. She listened intently. 

“And she died doing what she does best. Defending the Last City of humanity,” Saint said, his voice full of grief and admiration. Amon’s heart began to race, her breath coming in increasingly shorter gasps.

“Ages ago,” he continued, “she saved my life. And then inspired me to save myself. I am glad that she did. Because, Traveler help us, she is gone. And there is no one to save us now.” He paused, and Amon felt as if the silence was trying to consume her, to snuff out her light.

“On the day we met, I decided I would follow her example. I’m still trying. I’ve marked this grave with one of her favorite weapons, shattered in that final confrontation.” Her eyes darted to the grave, and then to the hand cannon caught in the death grip of her palm.

_ One of my favorite weapons? _

“It used to be mine. All who find what we’ve left here – please leave it be. Unless…unless you’re still out there somewhere. You’ve performed miracles before. In which case, take it. And come back to us. And we’ll kill what killed you. Or die trying.” Saint’s voice echoed before finally fading back into nothing. 

Dropping to her knees, Ace clattered to the ground as Amon clutched at her chest. Sharp, stabbing pain followed each wild beat of her heart, and she breathed with such ferocious labor that she feared a scream might tear its way out of her lungs. The room spun, blurring into the infinite, as the ringing in her ears rendered all thought into incoherent drivel. Amon gasped for air as every nerve-ending in her body set ablaze, falling forward onto her hands. Her arms shook wildly, spine repeatedly bending and snapping straight like a bow as she struggled to take in oxygen. 

_ I’m going to die. _

“Guardian, I think you’re having a panic attack,” Ghost said as he scanned her body. “I need you to count your breath. Four in, four out.”

_ One, two, three, what did me in?  _

Amon coughed violently as she choked on the air. 

_ One, two, three, four, one, two, what about everyone else, who died, who did I fail, who did I fail, I failed, I’m going to fail _

“Guardian, please, focus on the numbers!” Ghost wailed as she collapsed. He couldn’t ‘heal’ a panic attack- it was something she would have to ride out on her own. As if faced with the biggest door in the galaxy, Ghost felt utterly useless as he watched Amon come apart at the seams. At least if she asphyxiated herself or had a heart attack he could revive her.

_ I’m going to fail, two, I can’t save them, four, I’m afraid, one, two, three, four, one, two, three, four- _

Finally she pushed through the intrusive thoughts and began counting her inhales and exhales. After a minute, the sharp pains began to subside, as did the fire coursing through her nervous system. 

_ I don’t want to die. _

Amon rolled onto her back, hands placed on her stomach as she closed her eyes and faced the truth. She was afraid of death. If she died, there would be no one else to save them from the darkness. 

“Amon. You mustn't think so little of everyone else. Not everything is up to you, you can’t keep thinking like this!” Ghost spoke quietly, trying to mask his anger towards her. 

She pulled herself to her feet and faced the tomb without saying anything.

“Guardian-”

Ghost was cut off by a scream Amon gathered solar light into one fist and punched the tomb, obliterating the stone lid. He watched in awe and terror as the explosion sent chunks of its remains tumbling into the base and out onto the floor. 

“You shouldn’t be able to do that,” he said, referring to her impromptu use of mortar blast. A titan class ability that took quite some time to learn. 

Amon replied through gritted teeth. “We just heard Saint-14 give my  _ fucking _ eulogy, and you’re more concerned about me using a titan ability?” She spat out the words, kicking the rubble. 

As the gravel shifted, a shimmering, purple, spherical contraption rolled out of the area she had assaulted. The central sphere pulsed with void light, and concentric silver rings spun around it as it moved. Amon reached down and picked it up, wordlessly holding it out so that Ghost could analyze. 

“I’m sorry, Amon. I don’t have the luxury of limbs, or any way to vent out emotion other than by word. I learned that it’s much easier if I just don’t react too much to things....things like what we just heard.” Ghost sounded genuinely hurt as he scanned the item. 

“It’s okay, Ghost. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I’m sorry.” She paused, tilting her head to the side. “C’mere.” 

Ghost hesitated a moment before stopping his scan to nuzzle softly into the crook of her neck. It was their way of hugging. Amon let out a sigh as he let out a purr-like buzz. 

“So, what is this thing?” She asked. 

“I’m not exactly sure. Some kind of weapon core. I think we should bring it to Saint.” 

Amon’s stomach turned. She couldn’t tell the other’s what they had heard. What if they began to doubt her? 

“I think you’re right,” she responded, closing her hand around the core and sifting through the rubble to find Ace. Finding the hand cannon, she picked it up and dusted it off against her thigh before holstering the weapon. 

“Let’s get out of here.” 


End file.
